I mentioned in my first entry that own ten Harvest Moons. There are two main problems with almost every one of these games.
After the jump, Hero of Leaf Valley dodges one of them Continue reading →
For the next five days, I’ll be playing Silent Hunter III with the Grey Wolves mod, which fixes lots of bugs from the original game and tweaks tons of environmental values, ranging from visibility and detection ranges in low light to crew fatigue factors. The result is the most solid, real-feeling submarine experience, and the only way to play Silent Hunter III.
For this patrol, our destination grid is the farthest I’ve ever been. Even the letters look unfamiliar. I’m used to AM, AN and the Bs but this is what? DJ? Where is that? I’ve taken my little Type II boat all over the North Sea and the coast of Great Britain. With my fancy new Type VIIb, I ranged that coast and beyond numerous times in a single patrol. But this DJ18 — this is serious. This is the Atlantic. This is international traffic and massive convoys. This is deep waters and vast hunting grounds with no land in sight. This is… beyond our range at standard cruising speed.
Scheisse.
After the jump, 40 kilometers of nailbiting tension Continue reading →
Once you get involved in the social aspects of Test Drive Unlimited 2, you’re presented with a stark choice: do you want to spend your money on yourself or on your club? I’ve chosen to spend most of my money on myself. I’ve got cars to buy and houses to own.
After the jump, money won’t buy me love, but it will buy me a waterfall Continue reading →
So I’m humming along on my little farm. I’ve procured three chickens and three cows, so I have eggs and milk earning money in addition to my crops. I’m finally able to hit the mines on my own, and a little hard-earned cash went toward a new fishing rod, so that’s another two sources of income. But even so, there are expenses. Seeds need to be purchased, tools need to be upgraded, and of course there are my near-daily gifts to Aurelia. Those gifts are non-negotiable. I gained a heart level with her just yesterday! And she’s always telling me how much she loves my vegetables. So the gifts continue!
But the 50,000 gold I need to pay off the villains and save the town seems a long way off. If only I didn’t have to do this by myself…
After the jump, it takes a village to save a village Continue reading →
I’m pretty sure everybody reading this has at one time or another had the experience of overpromising something, only to underdeliver in the end. Whether it’s a competitive game of League of Legends or a magical presidency of hope and change, we all know what it’s like to make commitments we’re just not able to keep. While I know I never actually promised anything as part of this series of articles, I was secretly hoping to be able to do one thing before I finished, and that was explain in detail how the combat system works. Unfortunately, I’m here to tell you that isn’t happening. Several weeks of scrutinizing the combat results and flipping through the manual has driven home the fact that short of learning assembly language or whatever COBOL derivative developers use to make games these days, the only way I’m going to be able to come through with that information is to steal it from Gary Grigsby’s hard drive. And since that’s something I’m loath to do unless fighting the terrorists, I’m going to have to settle for the layman’s version. I hope you’re not too disappointed.
The good news is that it doesn’t really matter, anyway.
After the jump, make peace with our bipartisan compromise solution to combat results. Continue reading →
Test Drive Unlimited 2 starts in a weird place. A rooftop dance party near the coast of Ibiza. Normally that would an annoying way to start a game based on driving. But you’ll come to realize this is a game based on two core concepts: driving with friends, and expressing your inner douchebag.
After the jump, the douche-doo that I do Continue reading →
Hero of Leaf Valley takes an interesting approach to tutorials, and I’m of two minds about it. For farming and fishing, the controls are explained to you and you’re cut loose to try them out on your farm. But for other tasks — riding horses, mining for ore, cutting lumber, and cooking — you can do “part-time work” for your neighbors.
After the jump, how hard can it be to cut down trees? Continue reading →
With young Princess Bethany ushered back to the castle, Varrick can get back to his quest for the lost fountain. The book was a bust but perhaps the peasant locked up in the stocks will know where this mythical font lies. Firstly, however, our merchant friend needs to tend to his profession and today that means a trade mission.
After the jump, who is Drusilla and what does she want?! Continue reading →
Victory conditions are wargames’ great balancers. Without them, you’d have to play many games for fun, because one side would have little chance of winning. No one thinks that the Germans had any chance of winning the Battle of the Bulge, in the sense of achieving their strategic objective, which was the capture of Antwerp. But failing that, how can you call any other result a victory? Germany was going to be completely laid waste in the next six months, so who cares if the Panzer Lehr brigade made it to Dinant? Pacific theater games are the same way: the chances of the Japanese defeating the U.S. militarily, or forcing a surrender, were probably nil. What would a Japanese victory in the Pacific look like, anyway? Rising Sun over Sacramento? Unlikely. So for a Japanese player, you might just have to make it to September 1945, which would be a month longer than the historical Japanese lasted. That’s the whole, “Can YOU do better than Admiral Yamamoto?” slogan from Avalon Hill that I remember 25 years later, whereas I can’t remember the specifics of a scientific article I read last week.
After the jump, math, geography, book quotes, and 100+ bombers Continue reading →
Somebody–we’ll call him Mr. 42–asked me the other day if I knew where to find the moves for my Pokemons, because finding the moves might reduce my frustration with the game. This was an exceedingly fair question considering my previous entry in which I said, repeatedly, that I had no idea what to do with Bide. I have indeed figured out how to check out the moves of my little dudes. That’s not the problem. The problem is match-ups.
Which again became glaringly apparent when I descended into the museum basement for my rematch with Lenora.
after the jump, Throh-down Continue reading →
The contrast between racing and driving is monumental. Most days we all drive; few of us ever really race. It should come as no surprise then that game developers almost always let us race, giving us the kind of escapism that is gaming’s greatest strength. It doesn’t matter how we race. It could be with stock cars, finely tuned rally cars, British touring cars, or even just an old car on its last legs. But by doing this the game industry sullies the noble automobile. Sure, it’s fun to get out there and test your mettle against a swarm of other motorists but it’s only an ephemeral adrenaline-fueled moment from the greater wonder and soul of the motoring experience.
For a long time, I was content with that. But I’ve watched too many episodes of Top Gear. At some point, Jeremy Clarkson burrowed into my head and his reverence for motoring made me realize that developers have never just let us drive.
After the jump, Test Drive 2 is not about racing Continue reading →
Social interactions are as big a part of Harvest Moon games as taking care of your farm. Already in Leaf Valley, I’ve made friends who’ve taught me how to care for chickens and cows, mine, cut lumber, and fish — and in most cases, paid me for it. But you know, I don’t want to come home to an empty house forever. It’s time to pick my wife.
After the jump, meet the future Mrs. Whatever-My-Last-Name-Is Continue reading →
Varric’s on a quest for a legendary fountain that will cure him of his fondness for the ale. When last we left him he was at the palace learning about a mysterious book that might lead him to his goal. There’s also the matter of an imprisoned peasant who won’t talk about what she’s seen until our hero somehow releases her.
After The Jump: A new, adorable, threat emerges! Continue reading →
I test the challenge rock with my fist every day.
A quote by Battle Girl Lee. Her Timburr is no more.
I’m not one of these guys who talks smack. When I’m on the court, I just let my playing do my talking. As a coach I generally do the same thing. Yes, it is true that the bulk of my coaching experience involves kids around six playing soccer three-on-a-side, so trash-talk shouldn’t be an option no matter who the coach is. I’m just saying, in general, I’m not much for it. This won’t change here, either.
After the jump, the return of Team Tepig Continue reading →
Harvest Moon games are curious things. For starters, our primary objective is farming. Doesn’t exactly scream “adventure!”. The games are by and large cutesy, completionism is impossible without a strategy guide, and they can be monotonous.
I own no fewer than ten of them.
After the jump, the new guy always has to save the world Continue reading →
