J.P. Lucas

Gaming with Children: defcon 1

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It’s Saturday night, but officially Sunday because it’s past midnight. Defcon 2. This is why you can’t stay up all hours of the night gaming. Abigail, the 17-month-old, has a fever. We’re out of children’s Tylenol. I’m going to the 24 hour pharmacy for medicine. While I’m there I get a call from the wife. Magdalene, the pukinator, is screaming about her ear. We place an emergency phone call to the pediatrician while I’m standing in the pharmacy. An hour later I’m home, the medicines have been applied, and everyone goes to sleep.

After the jump, we go to defcon 1 Continue reading →

Gaming with Children: Sims Saturday

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The weekend is time to play The Sims. Only in real life. I’m cleaning the house, doing the laundry, helping with the shopping, rake some leaves, mow a lawn, play with the kids, make dinner, watch a movie, maybe fornicate with the wife (even that is rare to do with kids), make breakfast, clean some more, drop my son back home, pick up my mother-in-law to watch the kids for Monday. Weekends are fun for the family, but suck for gaming. The only thing holding me together, besides a bottle of wine, is that by Sunday, I can see Monday.

With all that free time you’d think you would have a chance to really spend a few hours gaming. But you don’t. One kid goes to dance class, the other to karate lessons. The little one needs to be fed and diaper changed, etc., etc., etc. Even when there’s down time you really can’t start anything, because you never know when a kid will need assistance, or they get into a fight, or want to have a tea party. You’re basically a glorified butler. After they’ve all gone to bed, I’d love to play League of Legends, but I’m exhausted. Kids are like energy vampires. I love ’em, but my day job is easier than this.

Up next: Defcon 1
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J.P. Lucas works, pays bills, eats, and sleeps. He changes diapers. Lots of diapers. And he does whatever his wife tells him to do. It’s safer that way.

Gaming with Children: G.D.I.F.

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Friday. Time to gulp down your beverage and stare into that empty glass with a long look on your face. Weekends suck. That’s when my game time sinks to an all-time low. Fridays are like Mondays. Limited game time. The difference is that while Mondays are usually ramping up, Fridays are ramping down. The train ride is spent playing Out of the Park Baseball. Win, lose, doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna see it again until Monday morning.

After the jump, you may wanna jump Continue reading →

Gaming with Children: League of Legends vs. puke

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Okay, so Monday’s nothing but a memory they implanted in your head which leads us to Tuesday, the day we really get our game on. The morning walk is spent pissing and moaning to my buddy about last night’s League of Legends debacle. I bitch that I wish he would learn more than the one champ he’s pro with. He mentions something about dealing with a wife and kids are a priority and time constraints and blah, blah, bleh, blah, boo-hoo. Learn another champion, noob.

After the jump, the price of late-night League of Legends Continue reading →

Gaming with Children: Monday is the best day of the week

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I’m here to piss on your day. Not intentionally, mind you, but a dose of reality is in order here. You see, I was once like you, single. Or maybe you got a girlfriend who lives on the other side of town and you just whispered “I love you, miss you, wish you were here.” And you dream about the day you’ll have a girl of your choosing, married, ring on the finger and a couple little rugrats running around. Stop dreaming. Feel that? It’s raining and there’s not a cloud in the sky. Let me tell you what you won’t be doing when your dreams come true; joining in on a ten man raid, going up against another Riot inspired OP champ, saving Arkham City, exploring the Sword Coast, blasting every Zed in sight, doing something badass in Skyrim…you get the idea. Enjoy yourself now, because lemme tell you, when you’re finally old enough to get married and have a bunch of kids or two, it’s all over. It’s all over! I can not stress that enough.

So, I’m gonna take you through a week in the life of a gamer with a wife and children. For the first entry we’ll start with, hmmm…how ’bout Monday?

After the jump, reality beckons Continue reading →