Stop already. Just stop. Everyone knows how great you are. Everyone has already had to tear himself away from World of Warcraft, Starcraft II, Diablo III, and Heroes of the Storm. And you know we’ll have to do it all over again when Overwatch comes out next week. So why would you release new content for the co-op mode in Starcraft II now, today, mere days before Overwatch arrives? Why would you give us playable Abathur, more room to advance our favorite characters, and “mutators” to add a greater challenge to familiar levels? And why would the first mutator be a zombie train called Train of the Dead that I’m going to have to play because zombies and trains are two of my favorite things? At least you’re charging $5 for Abathur, which makes it easier to pretend I’m going to say no. But why would you continue to make Starcraft II relevant to guys like me who are above the single-player campaign but below the demands of competitive multiplayer? Why now? What are you trying to prove? That you can upstage Total War: Warhammer, the latest Fallout 4 DLC, Doom, Uncharted 4, and Homefront: Revolution? That your old games hold just as much sway as everyone else’s shiny new games? It’s too much. It’s simply too much. Just stop for a while and give everyone else a chance.
Yours truly (no, seriously, I mean “yours” in an unhealthy way!),