October 24, 2011: wallet threat level pink

, | Games

The real wallet threat this week is Kirby’s Return to Dreamland. I wasn’t aware he’d left, but I’m glad he’s back. This is Nintendo platforming at its finest. Mario who?

I’m mostly curious this week about The Haunted: Hell’s Reach (pictured), a mod-gone-pro supposedly published by THQ. I say supposedly, because when I searched for the game’s name on THQ’s site, the only result was a zombie unlife sim for tween girls called Monster High Ghoul Spirit for the Nintendo Wii. “This semester, there’s a new ghoul hitting the haunted halls of Monster High — you!” So, like, Bully, but you’re a zombie? I would totally play that. Err, uh, I mean, that sounds stupid. Pfft. Anyway, that’s out this week as well. But The Haunted: Hell’s Reach, not for tween girls, is a horror-themed PC shooter with co-op multiplayer. I watch the trailer and think about how great Painkiller would have been with co-op multiplayer or how good Bulletstorm should have been.

I’m also curious about a downloadable War of the Worlds side-scrolling adventure for Xbox Live Arcade and PSN called, fittingly enough, War of the Worlds. It’s published by Paramount, but it’s based on the 1953 movie instead of the Spielberg movie. I would like to think this was a creative choice made by the developer, but I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it was an easy way to sidestep the rights to Tom Cruise’s likeness.

Stronghold 3 is out this week for any castle building needs not being met in Minecraft. Folks with Kinects might care about Dance Central 2. Cursed Crusade looks like Atlus’ attempt at a slice of the Assassins Creed and Dark Souls pies. Pokemon Rumble Blast is probably the worst game name this year. Also, Electronic Arts’ Modern Warfare 3 is out this week.