When I was asked to review The Witcher 2, I told my editor I’d be happy to, but that I hadn’t played the first game. I figured I just talked myself out of an assignment. It happens. But a few days after the game was out, he got back in touch with me and asked if I’d review it anyway.
That’s how I found myself dumped into a storyline that was as confusing as a Russian novel. So many places and people! So many names! I had just started reading Game of Thrones, and I had to put it on hold to keep my brain from exploding. By the time I finished The Witcher 2, I had figured out the storyline just fine. But no such thing happened with the layout of Vergen. That small but weirdly labyrinthine Dwarven town, where nearly a third of the game takes place, defied my comprehension until the very end.
And I used to think that undead city in World of Warcraft was bad.
As for the game itself, well…I’ll have more to say when the review is posted. Suffice to say, The Witcher 2 certainly made an impression on me.
My son Aaron is deep in thought on his side of the couch.
Playing Portal 2 with him is like playing any first person shooter game with God mode turned on. You really don’t have to worry much about playing the game. You simply move from level to level with impunity, unlocking the game’s secrets or collecting its rewards. This is how I like to play most first person shooters. I am a completest gamer. That means that I play first person shooters to know every secret panel, locked room, or Easter egg and, really, not much else. I think it comes from growing up in the 70s in a big family without much money. I want to wring every ounce of value that I can from the game. I do not want to be killed, blocked, or even low on health. I am perfectly willing to seek out cheats so that I can have the most powerful and devastating weapons, even on trivial training levels.
That’s just how I roll.
After the jump, R.E.S.P.E.C.T.: Find out what it means to me! Sock it to me, sock it to me. . . Continue reading →
That’s my buddy E2. He’s showing me some surveillance tapes. There was a security breach and all the other scientists are being forced to work for some cthulu-ish creatures from another planet. I’m assuming they’re from another planet because I’m playing a level called Space Garden. Also, I’m saying they’re cthulu-ish even though I don’t really know what that means because I like to say ‘cthulu’ in my head as I type it.
Aside from it taking me about fifteen tries to get past the very first little section of the level, I liked Space Garden plenty. As you play through it you can automatically continue to the second and third sequels. At one point you actually read “10 Years Later” in a title card. Ten years later? What? Fine. I’m in. I gotta respect a good time jump like that.
Especially after playing Jump or Die Colorful Obstacle Course! wherein I mostly did the latter and the life limit was one (1). One? Really? Oh, and every time I tried to let other sackfolk join me there they would get trapped on the other side of a wall. One of them just started tagging everything in protest. I have yet to get one of these collaborations on a community level to work.
But wait…what’s this?
After the jump, that door looks like it’s meant for cars Continue reading →
Pirates: they got in Canadian space once so they died like the dogs they are; or maggots, which is a more realistic non-swearing term. Next time I saw them, they took out the Drath defenses and stayed there. That’s a punk move. Present agenda: genocide, pirate hunt and more genocide.
After the jump, I get smacked in the face Continue reading →
You know the old maxim about “when a butterfly flaps its wings something something something, Ashton Kutcher makes a surprisingly decent movie in Hollywood”? I had one of those happen to me in Victoria 2. My variation went something like this:
“When a battle goes badly in Tuscaloosa, the people in Java need a stiff drink.”
After the jump, this will all make sense Continue reading →
