Do you like the smell of adventure…in space? Of course you do. See that big ship up there? That’s the Clockwork. New ship, good ship, gonna get us out of this backwater mess of a Sol system and explore the universe, it is. All we need is some ore, a good crew, and data to keep upgrading her. What do you say, son, are you ready to become a…space pirate? (dun dun DUN)
Listen up you primitive screw heads. Because after the jump, it…is my boom…ship…? Continue reading →
After last week’s Debacle at Senuzgda, it was necessary to take a trip around the world on a quest for personal growth. Without gaining valuable combat and weapon experience, I was not going to be able to fulfill my goals, as my capture and subsequent imprisonment had made painfully clear. My ultimate goal is to become either a lord with some land directly to my name or the wife of a lord who already possesses land, which would allow me to use his domain as my own.
First, though, I need to get in the good graces of the kingdom. That means doing work for Rhodok lords.
After the jump: oh joy. Continue reading →
Apparently some game called Brink is out, maybe you’ve heard of it? Early reviews have been less than kind, however that may be due to reviewers playing the 360 version prior to the Day 1 patch for it (since, you know, nobody can play it on the PS3… or can they?). Then again playing it on the PC is rife with the usual seemingly random technical pitfalls – this time it’s ATI graphic cards. Oh, PC gaming. You do so amuse.
As does Sony, of course. I mean, what kind of clueless jerks let themselves get hacked? Wait, someone besides Sony!
Find out what kind of non-Sony jerks get hacked after the jump. Continue reading →
The week is expecting a commitment from you. L.A. Noire and The Witcher 2 are the kind of mutually exclusive drawn-out videogames that you probably can’t play simultaneously. You must choose. Do you opt for Rockstar’s latest open-world saga in a historical setting? Or CD Projekt’s adult RPG about which I can’t really say much because I didn’t play the first one? Or will you be stranded between them like the proverbial donkey transfixed between two bales of hay?
For lighter fare and easier decisions, this week offers plenty of downloadable content. At the top of my own personal list is the Fantastic Four table for Pinball FX 2. Even though I’m all superhero’ed out, Zen Studios knows how to make a good table beyond just sticking superhero dolls on the table. And if that’s your bag, now you’ll get superhero dolls for, uh, let’s see…I know these. Pictured above, from left to right, are Stretch Man, Robot Robin Hood, Stone Guy, Jessica Alba, and Chris Evans. Wait, that’s five. Either one of them isn’t fantastic or someone miscounted.
The next entry on my own personal Week of May 16th DLC list is the Speedhunters add-on for Shift 2. In addition to new cars and tracks, you’ll get quarter-mile drag races and mile-long runs to see who can get the highest speed. Neither of these seems particularly dramatic when there’s already plenty of racing to do, but I like the idea of shorter challenges that rely more on tuning than knowing the track.
You’ll also get DLC for Crysis 2, one of this year’s most forgettable shooters. I think that one had aliens or something. Wait, no, I’m thinking about Halo. I forget what Crysis 2 had. Robots? Koreans? I’m pretty sure it had bullet time or upgradeable weapons.
A new adventure for Fallout New Vegas might be a grand time for people who can play the game. I’m not one of those people, since my copy on the Xbox 360 locks up whenever I get into combat. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it for Bethesda’s quality assurance and Microsoft’s certification process!
Also out this week is Sony’s online service for the Playstation 3 which will allow you to play PS3 games online, against and with players from around the world. Eventually, you’ll even be able to buy and download games, movies, and TV shows!
In Hesher, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a jerk, Natalie Portman is mousy, and Rainn Wilson doesn’t say a single funny thing. We’ll go into more specifics in this week’s podcast.
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