You might think Guild Wars 2 is all about crazy creatures like talking bipedal polar bears (kodan), talking gorillas (grawl), talking moles (dredge), talking birdmen (tengu), talking frogs (hyleks), talking plant people who totally aren’t elves (sylvari), totes adorbs cooing penguin/seal hybrids (quaggan), and World of Warcraft gnomes (asura). But the thing about most of those races is that you can’t be them. But you know what you can be? A cat. And you know how Guild Wars has a hundred or so miniature pets, including cats? That means your cat can have a cat.
But Guild Wars 2 has decided it’s time to go deeper. Next Tuesday, on February 26th, you can get a cat as a mount. So now your cat with a pet cat can ride a cat. It’s a cat singularity, which is one of about three hundred reasons that Guild Wars 2 was designated the Greatest MMO of All Time by the International MMO Designation Committee, which is comprised of me and my cat.
Vikendi, the new wintery snow-covered map in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, is live for all players. It’s not just a white-painted version of another map, a common cost-cutting technique in games, but an actual new island with unique points of interest. There’s a decrepit dinosaur park, a rickety roller coaster, and a rusting cosmodrome with a rocket. Snowmobiles are the vehicle du jour in Vikendi, and daring players are already breaking the physics to see how far they can ride on the roller coaster tracks. Is the chicken dinner best served cold?
Cam Clarke, the voice of Liquid Snake, and David Hayter, the voice of Solid Snake for most of the Metal Gear series, come together for a cute fan-fiction holiday poetry reading. Clarke’s Facebook post reveals that he and Hayter concocted the video late last month.
The first four of hopefully lots more Williams tables for Pinball FX3 just came out this week. Williams Pinball: Volume 1 is $10 DLC that adds Fish Tales, The Getaway, Junk Yard, and Medieval Madness, which all feel dated…in a good way. They’re among the physical tables from the days of yore, from actual stand-up pinball machines that exist in the real world, now ported into Pinball FX3 thanks to Zen Studios’ licensing deal with Williams. They introduce an odd dilemma for those of us who’ve been playing Zen’s tables all these years.
Pinball FX’s physics have been criticized as “floaty” or “soft”, and it’s not an unfair observation. Their tables are made to play by their own rules, with their own feel for where the ball should go and how. They never claimed to model actual steel balls rolling down actual inclines, bouncing off actual bumpers, and flipped by actual flippers. You could say their physics are stylized, which has freed Zen Studios to do some truly strange things with their tables. That’s just part of the identity of Pinball FX. There are other videogame pinball options for people who put a priority on real world physics. But with these four new tables, when you play a standalone round independent of the unlockable bonuses and wizard powers, you have the option to choose a “difficulty” setting. The choices are Arcade Mode or Tournament Mode. Arcade Mode is Zen Pinball as it’s always been. “Floaty” and “soft”, if you will. But Tournament Mode is their brand new physics model, presumably built to bring a sense of fidelity to these classic tables. And boy, does it feel different.
It feels so different that it doesn’t feel like Pinball FX anymore. It feels faster, and less forgiving, which is probably why Zen calls it a “difficulty” setting. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s like playing a whole new game. Who could object to getting a whole new game? And if you don’t like it, you don’t have to play it. But if you do like it — which I really do — now you have four tables that play this cool new way, and 78 tables that don’t. Now you might find yourself wishing the 78 other tables would get their own Tournament Mode. Now you might find yourself understanding why people bitched all these years about “floaty” and “soft” physics. Really, it just means I have to make hard choices as I mess around with these new tables. Get used to the new physics? Or pretend they aren’t in there? There are separate leaderboards for each mode, and although part of me winces at leaderboards splitting off in so many different directions, it does give me more options to beat my pesky friends who play Pinball FX3.
But what’s most puzzling to me is that now I like these tables that I didn’t think I would like, and not necessarily because I actually, you know, like the tables themselves. I like how they play. I like Tournament Mode physics. I’m coming around to the actual tables. I’m sold on Getaway, which is fast and flashy and open and growls like a muscle car. It wants to move. The pinball whipping madly around the crazy racetrack at the top of the table will never get old. It also means I’ll never have to play V12 again. Have you tried that table lately? Ugh. Junk Yard and Fish Tales are kind of junky and weird, but it feels nice to play these old fashioned designs for a change. Medieval Madness, however, just feels superfluous, given that Zen already has a jokey generic fantasy table called Epic Quest. But you can’t play Epic Quest in Tournament Mode, so Medieval Madness has that going for it. This will all be a non-issue as soon as Zen releases more Williams tables, especially the real classics like Pin-bot or Bride of Pin-bot, which give that much more weight to the new physics. But please hurry, Zen! It’s a very confusing time for some of us fans.
Gunfingers! What better way for Peter Parker, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, to greet fellow New Yorkers on the street? A wave? A casual hello? Pow! It’s gunfingers! The universal salute everywhere of dorks trying too hard to look cool. It’s the perfect choice for the web slinger in Insomniac’s just-launched Marvel’s Spider-Man. Parker is a nerd suddenly granted superpowers and fame, so of course the kid uses gunfingers. The less said of the selfie button, the better.
I’m honestly about to barf. Like, sitting here with my head between my knees in a cold sweat. But I just couldn’t stop myself. I just couldn’t. I kept going even as I felt it balling up in the pit of my stomach and then rising up my gorge. I couldn’t stop.
The North American turkey. Staple of Thanksgiving dinner tables and renaissance fairs. In Far Cry 5, they are murderous foes capable of pecking and gobbling an adult human or mountain lion to death in seconds. They are the merciless ninjas of Montana. Beware! Beware the mighty turkey!
The indie game scene on Steam, once filled with rags to riches stories, has become a place for dreams to die. Mike Rose of No More Robots, told attendees at the 2018 Game Developers Conference that their wide-eyed optimism for success on Steam was an error. According to his data, the average game on Valve’s PC gaming service makes about $30,000 in sales in its first year. Sales decline from then on. For small studios with more than one person working a ton of hours to bring their indie vision to life, this is sobering news.
“A lot of people are coming to me saying things like ‘our game’s a bit like Limbo, and Limbo sold millions of copies.’ Oh god, that’s not how it works.”
The problem, of course, is an over-saturated platform. In 2017, over 6,000 games launched on Steam, and thus far 2018 is looking to double that figure. Rose’s advice for indie developers? Have a plan to sell on other platforms, and make your product stand out from the overcrowded space. Even then, Rose cautions indies to prepare for less-than-stellar sales.
This is the brig. It’s the jail in a naval vessel, used to hold prisoners like enemy combatants or disobedient sailors. In Microsoft’s Sea of Thieves, it’s an option that a ship’s crew can use to isolate troublemakers. It can also be used to troll players. If the ship votes to put you in the brig, you’ll pop behind bars and you’ll be stuck there until the crew decides to let you out or you log out and try a different group.
On a real ship, you’d appear before the captain and he’d snarl for his bosun to toss you in the brig. In Sea of Thieves, you just appear in the cell. Unlike just about every other activity in Sea of Thieves, there are no instructions on how to be a prisoner. There is no minigame. You are just trapped.
That’s how I wound up spending an hour in the brig during this past weekend’s beta. I fumbled around thinking there was some puzzle or activity I had to complete to break out, but that wasn’t the case at all. My sin was being a random swabbie instead of one of the cool kids.
Microsoft is bundling PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds with the Xbox One X. The hot as fire battle royale multiplayer game just launched as an Xbox exclusive and racked up over 1 million players in 48 hours. That’s a million players without a demo version. To celebrate, Microsoft is offering the game as a free bonus to all Xbox One X buyers until the end of the year.
Despite some widely reported technical issues, it appears Battlegrounds will be as big of a hit on consoles as it is on the PC. That’s a lot of chicken dinners.
Christmas is coming! If you still have a gift to get for that special gamer gal or guy, Quarter to Three is here with ten holiday suggestions. These are all items for sale now, (no pre-order hooey) and they’re all affordable. We’ve done our best to pick items that are easy to get as well, so you won’t have to stand in line for hours or scour the hidden recesses of eBay for rarities. Any of these gifts are sure to please!
I’ve already invested a fair amount of time in Assassin’s Creed: Origins on the PS4, but I couldn’t resist taking a gander at how it looks on the PC. Hoo boy! What a difference a GTX 1080 makes! “So much for playing on the PS4,” I decided, hunkering down to catch up with where I’d gotten on the PS4. But then three things happened in the 37 minutes I’ve logged on Steam: 1) Bayek doesn’t actually whistle when he whistles for his camel. I just press a key and the camel shows up, as if we have some sort of mind link. I’m uncomfortable with a camel inside my head. Plus, as someone who can’t do that cool pet-summoning whistle in real life, I want my power fantasy avatars to be able to do it. 2) I slew a leopard. Then it’s body melted about a foot into the ground. Which would be no big deal except that the twinkly loot point was also a foot under the ground. Try as I might, I couldn’t get the loot prompt to appear. The upper twinkly bits of the “loot here!” effect danced tantalizingly on the ground, like the leaves of a half-sprouted tuber. But the leopard pelt that I hunted fair and square was beyond my reach. 3) Bayek walks and runs in complete and utter silence. He even swims in silence. There is not so much as a gentle plash. While I concede this is a useful trait for an assassin, I kind of prefer the ambient shuffle of feet as Bayek’s boots pad across the sand. Visual immersion is all good and well, but it sort of falls apart when the sound is messed up.
So it’s back to the PS4, begrudgingly, where none of these three things happens. But now I’m having second thoughts because it’s so much easier to get headshots with a mouse. What’s more, the Destiny inspired inventory and quest screens aren’t so clunky when you’re driving with a mouse. And did I mention how much better it looks? I just have to accept the sad fact that no matter what platform you decide to play on, it’s always going to be an imperfect choice.
That’s The Hard Way, a real honest-to-gosh KFC virtual reality game created by W+K Lodge. According to John Minori, the design lead on the project, the studio wanted to create an experience that made the fictional Colonel Sanders “obsessive and borderline menacing.” What better way to do that than ape Andrew Ryan’s kindly instruction?
A section of Highway 1 in Big Sur, California was closed due to a landslide that occurred on May 20th. If you’re not cruising down the historic Pacific Coast Highway this summer, you may not think this would have an impact on your activities, but if you play American Truck Simulator, think again. SCS Software has implemented an update of the game that includes this 13-acre addition to California’s coastline and closure of the in-game route.
Its reopening in our American Truck Simulator will depend entirely on real world events.
It appears SCS Software may have its first test of their software-as-service approach. As of a few hours ago, the California Department of Transportation has issued an alert that the previously closed route is now partially open. If only American Truck Simulator modeled mud-slogging and dirt traversal!