To some people logistics is a chore. A necessary part of getting to the fun stuff. The vegetables. To others — me, for instance — logistics is a foundation for the fun stuff. Without logistics in a game, you’re sort of cheating. How did those bullets get into that gun? How did that fuel get into that spaceship? How did that party get its rations for the trip to Evil Wizard Castle? What’s in that caravan you have to escort? How did this tavern get its mead? To be perfectly honest, I’d rather move something from point A to point B than shoot a bad guy, slay a monster, or even build a fort.
One of my favorite things in Master of Orion wasn’t any black hole generator or Darlok espionage mission or huge ultra rich gaia planet. It was getting food from farm planets to the colonies that needed it to grow. This is as good a place as any for a quick shout-out to Star Ruler 2, one of the most lovingly logistics-intensive science fiction strategy games you will ever play. I’m making that chef’s kiss gesture as I type this.
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Boy, do I feel silly about this. A Marvel boondoggle taking up a slot on my 2019 top ten list? I don’t even really like superheroes. They’ve been foisted on to me. They’re shrapnel in a cultural explosion whose blast radius I can’t escape. I’m at the nexus of three different infection vectors: movies, boardgames, and videogames. I suppose I haven’t put up much of a fight. Come to think of it, I’ve been a pretty willing participant. I might grouse about Spider-Man Goes to Europe and Marvel Endgame Self-Congratulatory Three-Hour Fan Service Session. But last night, I watched Captain Marvel for a second time. I’ll hold forth to anyone who will listen about Fantasy Flight’s abusive business model, but I just ordered the Captain America deck for Marvel Champions. Instead of talking about Uncut Gems or Little Women, I had a lengthy conversation with a friend’s mom about how Logan was an Important Movie. Of course a Marvel boondoggle would find its way onto my 2019 top ten list.
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We’re not going away, but we are going to be on hiatus for a bit.
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Tom Chick talks about someone else’s game, Bruce Geryk doesn’t have room at the table for a fourth player, and Hassan Lopez loses to an eight-year-old.
Black Angel at 1:38, Kingdomino at 21:57, and Churchill at 34:04.
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Kellywand did it.
Next: Black Christmas
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Jason McMaster arrives on a boat that gets shot down, Nick throws some shade on Sam, and Tom Chick gets free stuff when his soldiers die.
Generation Zero at 1:00, Halo: Reach at 18:00, and Phoenix Point at 33:24.
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Cover your ears for this month’s high-pitched 3×3 for the sounds of distress, terror, and surprise. But first, we’ve seen some movies!
Annabelle Comes Home at 1:26, Instant Family at 5:35, and The Irishman at 11:27. The screaming starts at 22:02.
Up next: Knives Out
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Hassan’s new game, Manaical, is out! If you missed the Kickstarter, you can get it from eaglegames.net. In other news, Tom Chick fights the dumbest villains, Hassan Lopez spelunks with demons, and Mike Pollmann pillages some villages.
Marvel Champions at 6:03, Claustrophobia at 28:15, and Reavers of Midgard at 43:56.
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And who by avalanche, who by powder
Who for his greed, who for his hunger
And who shall I say is calling?
-Leonard Cohen, “Who By Fire”
It’s the summer of 2114. South America just collapsed into anarchy due to, I’m told, “cataclysmic heat stress”. It joins North America, Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. Russia, Europe, and Oceania still stand, each shoved closer to chaos by this year’s heat stress. The world will probably end next year. It might hold out until 2116 if it’s lucky. There’s nothing I, or the board of directors, or our company, or the European government, or anyone else can do. Which is especially disappointing, since my new body would have lasted until 2120. Those are four years I’ll never see. I paid dearly for them. 200 million for the body, 400 million for the tank it grew in.
Did I mention that we just launched a new Autoposter into the Russian market? Just Russia. Europe and Oceania have banned Autoposters. To appeal to the Russian predilection for privacy, we called it Never Bare Again. “Do we really have to bare all on social media?” our messaging suggested to shy Russians. “Do we have to share our deepest secrets, confess our truest selves? No. With Autoposter, we’ll fill your feed with content that has zero personal info.” A $30 million launch that will only make $6.36 in its first year. Minus whatever losses are caused by next year’s cataclysms. It’s not easy to turn a profit as the world burns.
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At last, a movie that answers the question, “How can we make Sweden seem scary?”
Next: the screams 3×3
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In ten years, will you remember Norman Reedus, an awkwardly fuzzy antelope, or Cal whats-his-name?
Death Stranding at 1:37, Planet Zoo at 16:59, and Jedi: Fallen Order at 39:50.
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There’s a character in this movie named Rose the Hat. That tells you everything you need to know about Doctor Sleep.
Next: Midsommar
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What if you have to learn wargame rules to play a wacky superhero game? What if you don’t have a table? What if the unicorn gets a princess? Tom Chick, Hassan Lopez, and Mike Pollmann consider these and other hypotheticals.
Agents of Mayhem at 5:06, Palm Island at 36:27, and Fantasy Realms at 45:40. But first, an update on Maniacal, Hassan’s new game, now available from eaglegames.net.
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Disney’s new streaming service launched today, pumping directly into your home the debut episode of The Mandalorian. Disney knows the three rules of competing streaming services are content, content, content. So here, for your viewing pleasure, is Disney doing what Disney does best: pandering.
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Robots don’t just come from the future. Sometimes they come from the past.
Next: Dr. Sleep
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