Sims Medieval: leading a dwarf to drink

, | Game diaries

Varric’s hung up his crossbow, Bianca, and grudgingly taken up honest trade as a merchant in Sims Medieval. Perhaps there would be profit eventually but for now drinking is his primary pursuit and fatal flaw. Lo, a quest has appeared that promises redemption! There are rumors of a legendary fountain which can cure the imbiber of all ills. Imbibing is what Varric does best.

After the break: A drunken dwarf? Now, that’s something you never see.

Technically Varric isn’t a dwarf in Sims Medieval. You can make pretty pointy-eared folk but not stubby stout ones. It’s racist or something. But let’s get on with this. At first I think I’ll try his daily activities. I’ll get a feel for what makes a merchant a merchant and how Varric’s traits play out before I get started on this quest, titled, “I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Yes, all caps.

To start off we’re doing the daily task, Butter Up 2 Customers. Varric’s quite good at this given his jokester trait or he should be. Despite making several new friends, including Royal Consort Amelia and a new best friend, Handmaiden Margery, the buttering up doesn’t seem to be sticking or even cropping up as a conversation option. By that evening the poor fellow is parched, hungry and sleepy. He does manage to scoop a book off the shelf behind him and stick it into his cart’s inventory to complete the second daily task, Opening Up The Business.

I go to the in-game help to try and figure out what I should be doing. Sadly I can’t find any information about these daily tasks but I get a better idea about what his strategy needs to be. The merchant doesn’t necessarily make anything but he can sort out good deals from bad in the village market and after buying low he can then bring the items back to sell high at his stall in the town square. He can also engage in trade with foreign lands (as they open up on the strategic map in the castle each one has a favored import and export) at the docks. The quickest way for Varric to gain levels is by balancing accounts at a scribe’s desk which I purchase and install as the thirsty, thirsty, dwarf gets his desperately needed beauty sleep.

At around quarter-to-three, Varric wakes up desperately sober. His mood is terrible as he needs his booze and he failed one of his daily tasks. There’s only one keg I know of in the kingdom so it’s off to the castle. As the first event in the quest chain involves tying one on, this should be a two-fer that gets Varric’s mood up and the quest back on track before sending him off to bargain hunt in the village. It also strikes me that fishing might be an easy way to get product at no cost.

After finally filling his gut with ale, Varric has another vision about the fountain! His outlook is much improved between the keg’s bounty and playing with the adorable newborn princess of the royal household. He discusses what he’s seen with his old friend King Hawke and Queen Amelia to find out more. Hawke’s got no time for running around after dreams but suggests the merchant seek out a book on the subject (must be on a bookshelf somewhere!). Queen Amelia has heard of both a monk and a peasant that have seen this fountain. Lastly, Varric’s own belly has an opinion: this is a quest that cannot be solved unless the seeker is well and truly plastered. It’s time to drink up again!

Next Time: Beer me! The quest continues.
Click here for the previous Sims Medieval game diary.

Brian Rucker is a long time gamer and it will probably say “Roleplayer” on his tombstone. He’s known for harrying folks in various gaming forums as OddjobXL and keeps an occasional blog called “The Roleplayer’s Redoubt” at