In honor of October, the spookiest month of the year, I’m going to share with you some of my scariest moments. These are tales fraught with horror, so beware ye faint of heart. Also, fraught with a grown man screaming and running away, if that does anything for you.
After the jump, more jumping Continue reading →
October has always been my favorite month. It’s the month of cool weather, awesome clothes, and sleeping with the windows open. It is long shadows and the magic hour in prime time. Thanks to Halloween, it’s also the month I love to dive deep into spooky stuff in all kinds of media, from horror story collections to favorite scary video games.
After the jump: “You wanna see something REALLY scary?” Continue reading →
If you’re not into NBA (pictured), this week’s release of NBA 2K14 is no threat to your wallet. The other possible wallet threat is for people who want to farm, romance, and JRPG on a Nintendo 3DS with the latest Rune Factory, also known as Rune Factory 4: I’m Surprised There’s Not Some Long Title in This Space. Atlus is trying to get you to buy a re-issue of the previous Etrian Odyssey JRPGs by bundling them under a new name and using the word “Untold” to imply it’s new. Nice try, Atlus.
But for most folks, this week’s threat is to whatever time they might be eager to spend with Grand Theft Auto Online, which goes live tomorrow. I predict great and/or terrible things.
Grand Theft Auto IV had some of the coolest and most intriguing DLC of any current generation game. With The Lost and The Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony, those folks over at Rockstar kept their audience busy. I can’t wait to see what DLC they’ll come up with for the excellent Grand Theft Auto V. Which is why I’ve compiled a list of titles that Rockstar might want to use.
After the jump, putting the grand theft in Grand Theft Auto V? Continue reading →
(Contributor Rob Harvey visited Vicarious Visions to take a look at their upcoming Skylanders release, Swap Force. This is his report.)
Quarter to Three’s official Skylander trio of Mommy, Kiddo, and Rob sat awaiting our meal in the local Dairy Queen. Kiddo knew I had a secret. He had been bombarding me with breathless guesses for what my watch informed me was an hour, but what my ears insisted was longer than it takes for a planet to form.
Rob: “Guy, I have to take a trip for the next few days. I will be out of town–”
His smile evaporated and his head bowed as tears started to form. I knew I had seconds to act before SWAT styled troopers with “CPS” velcro identifiers on their backs repelled down from the ceiling to confiscate the ice cream and declare me unfit for parenting. Probably in that order. Those Blizzard’s are tasty.
Rob: “But Kiddo, Activision has asked if I want to fly out to New York to see Skylanders Swap Force.”
Tears froze pre-formed and his head snapped up with eyes so large you would think Santa Claus was sitting in the booth behind me. Then, he started to vibrate. Not jump or wiggle, but vibrate, as if the molecular bonds of his excited seven-year-old body were doing what normally required miles of atom smashers.
Kiddo: “Skky-yyy-lannd-der-der-sss SSuss-saah-wapp-force!?!?!?” Some other incoherent and excited syllables continued to shake out of the vibrating testament of how advertising still works.
But, after the jump, how will Skylanders Swap Force look to the molecularly stable adult? Continue reading →
The threat to your wallet this week isn’t that Shadow Warrior is a remake of 3D Realms’ 1997 crass “Who wants some Wang?” Asian take on Duke Nukem. Instead, the threat to your wallet is that the guys who made Hard Reset are releasing a hyper-gory, slick, first person shooter/slicer with hearty RPG elements. That happens to be called Shadow Warrior. I’ve played an early build and I’m completely sold on the tech, the concept, and the tone. Also out this week is Alien Rage, a splashy generic sci-fi shooter that makes me want to reinstall Hard Reset.
This week’s mystery threat is a survival adventure called Day One: Garry’s Incident. I had mistaken it for the Source engine mod that lets you put ragdolls in compromising positions that resemble a cross between the Kama Sutra and Porrasturvat. But Day One: Garry’s Incident is something else entirely about an action hero who has to explore Amazonian ruins starting with nothing. Minecraft meets Uncharted?
Finally, it’s time for hockey season with the Fiffy games from EA and Pees 2014 from Konami. Nothin’ but net! Or, as they say in foreign countries, skoaaaaaaalllllll!
The following article is about a mission in Grand Theft Auto V called “By the Book”. It contains spoilers about the game up to that point, but not beyond.
The root is still hanging on right at the gumline. I pull with the pliers while Mr. K screams and gurgles. Am I supposed to pull the tooth straight out, or just keeping yanking it side to side? I shouldn’t have hidden my eyes during this part of Marathon Man. Ah, I see my problem. The controls indicate that I needed to apply a circular motion, like trying to loosen a fence post.
Then, a comment behind me: “Eww.”
It’s my roommate. He has walked into the living room on the way to the kitchen, and there I am, with a pair of pliers plunged into some screaming guy’s bloody mouth, yanking the tooth back and forth. Well, not me, but Trevor, who I’m controlling. Torture by proxy. My official representative is torturing someone while I look on, pressing the buttons to let him do this, and suddenly someone is looking at me. Why does this feel strangely familiar?
After the jump, Rockstar is talking to us, America Continue reading →
Skylanders: Swap Force is out in two weeks and I just got back from a press event at developer Vicarious Visions’ studio. Here are a few key things that you might want to know.
After the jump, Skylanders cut in half? Continue reading →
It’s no secret that I loves me some Diablo III. I’ve spent a few hundred hours kicking around demons and finding phat lewts while chasing down the big man, but after hitting top level and messing with it for a bit on a couple of characters I completely lost interest. Why? The loot chase might as well not exist in the PC version of Diablo III. You know what keeps people interested in Diablo games? The loot chase.
After the jump, all that changes… Continue reading →
The wonderful The Wonderful 101 for the Wii U is out this week. Read more here about why it’s wonderful. If you’ve got a Wii U, you can also get Legend of Zelda: Wind Walker in HD. If you know enough to correct me on the title, you know enough to know it’s worth an HD playthrough.
Foul Play, available on Xbox Live Arcade this week, is just another beat-’em-up, but it’s got unique 19th century theatrical style. That goes a long way. Mechwarrior Online is officially live for free-to-play mech-on-mech action after its long beta period. There’s a third Infinity Blade out for the iPad. Metro: Last Light gets another round of DLC called The Developers Pack, which includes a gun sandbox, an AI vs AI arena, and a spider’s nest scenario.
Also, Grand Theft Auto V.
Hotline Miami 2 used to contain a rape scene. Well, a “rape” scene. As with many things Hotline Miami, you can’t take it at face value. But now it doesn’t have that scene. It’s been cut from the demo and the developers at Dennaton have said in an interview they’re going to try to “fix it”.
Unless “fix it” means put it back and continue making the game as they intended, Dennaton is letting the wrong person shape their game. That person is writer Cara Ellison, whose PC Gamer preview presumably caused Dennaton to cut the scene.
After the jump, how not to make a videogame Continue reading →
Like movies and television, videogames have their fair share of products that didn’t quite make it to the audience. Like Jerry Lewis’ movie about a clown that leads children to the gas chamber in a concentration camp, many games have been cancelled and forgotten. Let’s take a quick look at what we might have played had things turned out differently.
After the jump, the world could have been a very different place Continue reading →
PAX Prime is an odd experience when you go with a family. Everyone has different interests, so you have to split up at times if the party is going to get the most out of the exhibitions. “Oh, you want to see Ubisoft’s The Crew before we grab some lunch? I want to see Ryse: Son of Rome.” Sometimes, you have to be willing to compromise because every bit of the show floor looks like the image above. It’s just a crowded mess.
Yesterday, PAX gave us some big-budget gaming. For the final day, let’s wrap things up with a look at some other games.
After the jump, the family that attends PAX together, plays together. Continue reading →
Rayman Legends is out this week. If the sequel to Rayman Origins is half as good as Rayman Origins, platformer fans will have another must-have. However, if it doesn’t have a playable Goth Teensy, I will freak the flip out.
Now that the Total War games got really good with the last Shogun, I’m eager to see how Rome II has turned out. If you know any of the following words, you’re probably as eager as I am: hastati, principe, triarii, peltast, velite, onager, flammable pigs.
As you can see from our daily updates, Diablo III: The Living Room Edition is available now for your latest-gen console of choice that isn’t a Wii U.
Outlast is an indie found-footage horror game for the PC that isn’t very good unless you’re into jump scares. Here is the impromptu review I let slip at the first jump scare: “Oh god! JEE-sus Christ…”
Sega releases an updated Mickey Mouse platformer that only needs to clear the modest bar set by Capcom’s Donald Duck platformer from a few weeks back.
That’s the morning queue to get into Pax Prime 2013. It’s hot and stifling in this room, and about an hour before they let people into the main hall, the crowd reaches Funk-con 4. Besides smell, the other thing the image doesn’t convey is the audio experience of Mountain Dew and Doritos blasting butt-rock while someone screeches about your chance to win an Xbox One.
Yesterday’s tour of Pax Prime 2013 was a down and dirty look at the Great Northwest’s premiere gaming convention. This time, let’s check out some of the gaming goodness!
This tour of Pax Prime 2013 has been brought to you by Mountain Dew and Doritos after the jump! Continue reading →
