Vlaada Chvatil is a brilliant game designer. But he’s not much of a storyteller. Like a lot of renowned Eurogame designers, his genius is mechanical instead of imaginative. Nowhere is this more apparent than Mage Knight, a mercilessly Teutonic exercise in optimization. Bone dry, personality free, almost completely non-interactive when played with others, challenging only for the clock counting down to an inevitable failstate. Mage Knight demands that you hurry up and optimize faster. That is its core gameplay. Take your time and you lose. Quickly optimize its clockwork interactions and you might win.
It fares a bit better when someone comes along to apply the imagination part. For instance, Andrew Parks and the Star Trek license. Parks’ Star Trek: Frontiers, an official Mage Knight game, applies a splashy coat of Star Trek paint. The hand management now represents tuning your starship’s performance. The cards are your crew members. The cities you’re supposed to conquer are mighty Borg Cubes. The diplomacy is actually diplomacy. Now the cardboard isn’t so bland. Design by Chvatil, flavor by Parks.
But no one has done more for Mage Knight than Walter Barber.
Continue reading →
The Head Hunter is pretty modest. But within the confines of what it’s trying to do, it’s entirely competent and even a bit haunting. It’s certainly better than director Jordan Downey’s Thankskilling movies, which were pranks on anyone dumb enough to watch them. Including myself, naturally.
But The Head Hunter is a sedate mood piece good enough to take itself seriously. Just be aware that you’re watching a short film given room to breathe. Room to sprawl toward feature-length. It’s a bit small for its 72-minute running time. But it uses the time wisely, dwelling lovingly on the production design for its homestead in a medieval countryside. When the call is sounded from a nearby castle, a monster somewhere needs killing. The things are everywhere. Flying overhead. Nosing about the window at night. The dude who lives here does the dirty work of keeping them contained.
The secret ingredient in The Head Hunter is the stately and hirsute Christopher Rygh. He cuts a fine figure under all that armor, and especially out from under it. As a dual class monster hunter slash apothecary who put a few points into necromancy, he’s not fooling around and he’s got the biceps to prove it. He is as somber and muted as the cinematography and no matter how silly that helmet looks, he plays it straight-faced and wild-eyed. Frankly, he deserves a bigger movie. Until then, he’s one hell of a way to fill out 72 minutes.
After a brief discussion of some weird German movie Kellywand saw, Prospect, and The Front Runner, we take a look at our favorite one-eyed characters in movies.
Next: Hellboy
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
What does a guy do after making Race for the Galaxy? Are there any games that really work well with an app? Can a Euro worker placement game embrace an Ameritrash theme? Tom Chick, Hassan Lopez, and Mike Pollmann answer these questions for you.
Podcast (games): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Of all the movies we’ve done on this podcast, this one has the shortest title.
Next: 3×3: our favorite one-eyed characters
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Sure, we went nuts over Conan: The Barbarian, but it got less cool once all the dumbass jocks discovered Schwarzenegger action movies and lumped Conan in with that stuff. The Terminator didn’t help. First Conan, and now a robot from the future? Schwarzenegger was the GURPS of action heros. Some of us were left with Beastmaster, starring a guy who looked more at home playing a doctor in a daytime soap opera. No pet class barbarian looks like Marc Singer. Please. To be honest, we were mainly into it for Tanya Roberts. And the ferrets. The ferrets were cool. There was also Ralph Bakshi’s Lord of the Rings cartoons. But there was something weird about those. Something off. They came from some other state of consciousness we didn’t understand. A hangover from the 70s.
But our greatest cinematic joy as fantasy nerds of a certain age endures to this day. It remains unknown to many. Unless you are among the initiated (i.e. you understood the GURPS reference), there’s nothing for you after the jump. Move along. Nothing to see here. An enthusiastic review of The Division 2 or something will be along shortly.
Continue reading →
The winner of the 2019 Make Us Watch Whatever You Want Fundraiser!
Next: Us
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Craig Zahler has no one to blame but himself for what will probably be a career of making movies that aren’t as good as Bone Tomahawk. He got off to a solid start with a formulaic, uneven, and ultimately forgettable prison yarn called Brawl in Cell Block 99. The whole thing felt like a build up to a special effect that wasn’t even that good. That’s why I watched this movie? So you could do that? Dragged Across Concrete feels like a do-over. This is what I expect from the guy who made Bone Tomahawk.
Continue reading →
Tony Carnevale, Tom Chick, and Bruce Geryk on Weird West, solitaire World War II, and minor Martin Wallace. Also, the logistics of boardgaming, how to Advanced Squad Leader, and why Too Many Bones is called Too Many Bones.
Podcast (games): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Jessica Rothe gets her own horror/comedy franchise. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer La La Land roommate!
Next: the winner of the 2019 Make Us Watch Whatever You Want Fundraiser! (the drawing is at the 1:43:13 mark)
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Movies are uniquely suited to building worlds by letting you listen and watch. Traditional exposition is a crutch. Wasted time that could be spent showing me something, letting me catch something in the dialogue. I’m already watching the movie, so I obviously want to be here. And if I’m watching, I’m listening. A movie should take advantage of my attention. It should value it as much as I do. It should reward me. It should appreciate that I decided to be here.
There aren’t many movies that appreciate my attention as much as Prospect.
Continue reading →
As with most of our comic book movie podcasts, we have two people who enjoyed themselves immensely and one naysayer.
Next: Happy Death Day 2U
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Tom Chick, Hassan Lopez, and Mike Pollman have been playing Too Many Bones, Quacks of Quidinburg, and Twilight Imperium. Also a bit of Wasteland Express Delivery Service, Vindication, and the latest Arkham Horror.
Podcast (games): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
Before moseying over to the checkout lanes, we talk about They Shall Not Grow Old, Aterrados, Thelma, and Velvet Buzzsaw.
Next: Captain Marvel
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
This is what Sweden sent to the Academy Awards. Unlike us, the Academy didn’t go for it.
If you enjoy these podcasts, please support the 2019 Make Us Watch Whatever You Want Fundraiser. Every dollar you donate to paypal.me/qt3 gets you a vote for what movie we watch for our March 25th episode. Be sure to note in the comments section the movie you’re voting for with your donation and tune in for the drawing on March 18th!
Next: 3×3: grocery stores
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
