Today’s rivals event is a breakout layout on Monza, using a lime green doorstop with a bunch of random stickers slapped on it. I am amazed at how gaudy actual races look, with stickers all over the cars, with signs and banners scattered around the track, crowding to get into every shot to peddle motor oil and beer. It’s just so unsightly. Races are literally littered with advertising. I can hardly blame today’s poor car for trying to stand out by being painted lime green.
But I’ve come up with my own solution. If you can’t beat them, join them.
My fourteenth car, officially designated Chick 14, is a supertruck. No make, no model, no class, just “supertruck”. I bought it because I’d unlocked a supertruck career event. As near as I can tell, it’s the only time I’ll use a supertruck in Project Cars 3. Which is fine by me, because they’re no fun to drive. Supertrucks are big, pokey, and more than happy to lurch off the track. You don’t drive a supertruck; you wrestle it. They don’t even sound cool. You’d expect a supertruck would have a gurgling lugubrious engine. You’d expect a foreboding growl. But these supertrucks just sputter. They sound like someone recorded the sound effects for a Phantom Menace pod racer over a bad phone connection. They sound like how a cool car would sound, but run through a noise filter and laid over the sound of an untuned engine in a car with all its rivets loose. They sound like phlegmatic owlbears.
You can’t upgrade supertrucks, so you can’t tune supertrucks, so not only is a supertruck only going to drive how it’s always going to drive, there’s no point leveling it up. Worst $65,600 I’ve ever spent. The moment I drove it off the lot, its resale value plummeted to $32,800.
So I painted it purple and had a sticker party.
Project Cars 3 has a ton of real-world sponsor stickers. I couldn’t care less about those. It’s also got some fictional brands, but since I haven’t heard of 99% of the real-world brands, they’re all indistinguishable to me. And then it’s got stickers like the ones I used on my supertruck.
These are the sorts of things you might see on an actual car’s bumper, at which point you just have to speed up and see what kind of person would put that on his car. I once saw a bumpersticker that read, “If I’m driving fast it’s because I have to take a shit.” The dude driving the car was exactly what you’d expect.
And after a couple of earnest tries at the supertruck event, I’d had enough. So I turned on all the driving assists, lowered the AI difficulty, and banged out a handful of easy wins to log the career objectives. In the process, because Project Cars 3 is all about long-term progress, I logged a ton of clean laps, mastered corners, and even a few mastered tracks. And if I’m ever $32,800 short of the price of a car I want, the super truck is at the top of my “to be sold” list.
It’s also the only car on that list, which I’ll explain next time.