Top five game downgrades, or the lies marketing told you

, | Games

It’s a little over a week before The Witcher 3 launches, and the biggest discussion right now isn’t the fact that you can have sexual relations with a sorceress while on the back of a stuffed unicorn. No, it’s the possibility that current video and images of the game do not live up to the media released over a year ago. It’s called ‘The Witcher 3 downgrade’ and nitpicky fans of game marketing say it’s indicative of the graphics being reduced in quality during development. While stuff like missing smoke from fires and pixel-counts in foliage are important, people shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that they can have sex with a sorceress while on the back of a stuffed unicorn. To help put things in perspective, we’ve got a look back at some other games that suffered from a graphics downgrade.

After the jump, let’s tighten up those graphics on level three!

1. Yar’s Revenge

What we were promised. Hell yes! Look at that badass metal space wasp shooting billiard balls out of its nose-cannon. That’s some serious rock album cover awesomeness. Being in that ship is going to be sweet! I bet we’re going to fight cosmic gorillas or some freaky-ass time-hawks from Pluto.


What we got. Where is my space wasp? I think that’s supposed to be some kind of force field in the center, or maybe a gravel road. I don’t even see a cosmic gorilla.


2. World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

What we were promised. Check out the David Carradine Kung-Fu level wushu sweetness. Boom! Pow! Kicky-feet all up in there! We’re going to be all HEEYAAAAAAH! on them fools.


What we got. Oh, that’s right. This is still World of Warcraft.


3. Madden NFL

What we were promised. Look at John Madden. That’s a guy that looks like he knows all about sports broadcasting. He’s holding a ball. He’s got the headset. He’s wearing a tie. You’re totally going to have the time of your life providing color commentary for a TV network. Get your “boom” and “ka-pow” ready because the next couple of hours are going to filled with onomatopoeia.


What we got. There’s no microphone. No camera countdown. You’re not helping Madden host the games at all. To make matters worse, EA continued with this deceptive marketing campaign until 2001 when they started putting football players front and center in the media.


4. Dark Souls

What we were promised. Oh crap. That guy’s sword is like 20 feet long!


What we got. You died.


5. The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

What we were promised. Dragons, epic battles, mysteries, and Viking ballads writ large. Every Lord of the Rings fan, every Dungeons & Dragons player, everyone that ever saw Arnold Schwarzenegger swing a sword as Conan would play Skyrim and want to live in that world.


What we got. Uh… What?