Your Daily McMaster: Skyrim’s only real failure

, | Games

I’m surrounded by beautiful terrain. A brook babbles idly as I stalk through the bush. I’ve been following this party of Imperials for the last half mile. They have a Stormcloak captive that is, most likely, bound for a rather unpleasant evening. I was in that same place not too long ago and I can’t let a fellow rebel meet that fate.

I’m a few dozen yards away from my prey. I can almost taste their acrid clothing, coated with days of road dirt and hardship. The prisoner stumbles, prompting the guards to halt. I’m close enough now to hear them speak. Oh my God, what the hell is that?

I’m no longer in the woods; I’m in my living room. The illusion is completely gone. When the guard opened his mouth, it sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “slow” cousin. We went from Patrick Stewart to this?

Now that’s not to say the entire game is voiced poorly, it isn’t, but there are quite a few moments that range from odd to flat out laughable. I suppose this next bit could be considered a spoiler, but it’s a spoiler in the same way that saying there’s a Thieves Guild in the Elder Scrolls games. The leader of the Thieves Guild in this game sounds like he suffers from an angry version of VI.

That being said, Skyrim is on my short list for Game of the Year. Thank God it does just about everything else right.