Star Wars Pinball is no moon

Posted by on February 26, 2013 in Reviews

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Star Wars Pinball made me do something I have never done in Zen’s superlative Pinball FX series. It made me turn on the music.

After the jump, I think you overestimate my chances

Okay, so that’s enough with all the superhero tables. It’s time for some Star Wars. Zen Studios first three tables out of a ten-table Star Wars series are available now. You get Clone Wars, Boba Fett, and The Empire Strikes Back, which I refuse to call Star Wars V in much the same way Thoreau refused to pay a poll tax. We all do our part to make the world a better place.

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The Clone Wars table is a crowded cluster of ramps shoved to the top of the table to make room for a jumble of typefaces that represent, uh, Geonosis? Midichlorians? Waddo? Kit Fisto? I’m really out of my element playing this one. If you’re curious what’s going on, the Clone Was table is narrated by fortune cookie Yoda and a guy who seems to have something else on his mind, like getting out of the recording session before lunch. It’s not an awful table, but it is another doll based table, and I don’t really know who these dolls are. One is either Ewan MacGregor or Hayden Christensen. The other is one of those tentacle headed chicks that was probably supposed to be a throwaway latex effect in the first movie. It’s an energetic and colorful enough table. You could do worse.

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But then we get to Boba Fett, a brutally difficult, fast playing, low scoring table based on everyone’s favorite sarlacc snack. Boba is surprisingly chatty. He opens with a monologue. It’s a work pitch, really. Sort of his own performance evaluation as a bounty hunter. Then the Boba Fett doll jets around a fair bit.

But what I like about this table is that it makes no bones about not being for the feint of flipper. To work your way along the mission structure, you have to line up a series of shots down narrow lanes, one of which is closed off behind a see-saw that you have thwack hard to unlock. These lanes represent Imperial and Hutt bounties. Once you unlock one of the factions, you get a risk/reward dynamic for how tough a mission you want to take. Basically, how many ramps do you think you can hit in the time limit? Alternatively, have you stocked up on missiles to take down your bounty automatically? Once you catch whomever you’re tasked to catch, you have to load him up on a big fat model of Slave One that parks directly in front of your flippers.

Boba Fett also has a unique sensibility, with its Tattoine palette and weird sound effects that I don’t recognize from any Star Wars movie I’ve ever seen. Is this what the world sounds like to a Mandalorian? Speaking of which, “Mandalorian multiball” has to be one of the best names for a multiball mode.

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But let’s get down to brass tacks. You’re not here for the middling Clone Wars table or the surprisingly good and punishing Boba Fett table. You’re here for the only thing better than a Star Wars table: an Empire Strikes Back table. As we all know — and by “we”, I mean discerning movie wonks of a certain age who grew up with Star Wars and then watched it crumble — there is only one good Star Wars movie and it’s The Empire Strikes Back and it doesn’t have a Roman numeral on it. Let’s have a beer and hash this out at some point. For the purposes of this review, you’re just going to have to take my snooty word for it.

Zen’s table lovingly captures the movie’s production design, a combination of timeless imagination and 80s sci-fi aesthetic. Of course the sound effects are there, snippets of familiar dialogue, and characters, usually without any of the silly dolls. It’s mostly an easy table with a mission mode you can’t miss. Basically, Darth Vader’s neck opens wide, you drop a ball in, and you get to choose among six missions, each consisting of two stages based on events from the movie. This table knows it’s for movie fans. It’s not attempting anything other than a blatant appeal to nostalgia. In other words, direct hit. This is how you make a great table. Be sure to play a bit on the zoomed out view so you can see what’s scurrying around on the floor.

To get seven more Star Wars tables, Zen Studios will have to dig deeper into Lucas’ trough. Sure, it’ll be cool to have a Millenium Falcon smuggling table (How many parsecs will it take you to make the Kessel run?), a Death Star attack table (Do you worry about those fighters or the tower?), and a cantina table (See if that little squealing warthog guy can get served). But then what? An ewok table? Mon Mothma’s rise to power? A Naboo trade embargo negotiation table? Can Zen contractually avoid putting Jar Jar Bink onto a table? But the real challenge in the future won’t be coming up with material. It will be following up on a pair of tables as good as the ones you get here.

5 stars
Xbox 360

  • http://twitter.com/kentdoggydog Brian Kent

    In the trailer for the Empire Strikes Back table, it “appeared” that dialogue sound effects were not taken straight from the movie, but newly recorded sound-alikes quoting the exact lines. While I could understand if the lines were modified to fit into the context of pinball, they seemed to be quoting them verbatim, and sounded completely terrible. This may sound like a dumb complaint, but it’s the equivalent of hearing that your favorite song is coming to Rock Band, only to discover that it’s a cover and not the original recording. Can you tell if that’s the case (and does it really matter?). Also, why would such a thing even been done? Is it actually cheaper to have someone re-record these exact same lines than just ripping them from the films?! Fuck Star Wa–… eh, whatever.

  • Mercanis

    “As we all know — and by “we”, I mean discerning movie wonks of a certain age who grew up with Star Wars and then watched it crumble — there is only one good Star Wars movie and it’s The Empire Strikes Back and it doesn’t have a Roman numeral on it.”

    Amen to that, and I wasn’t even around for the original release of the original trilogy. Can you imagine if there had been a worthy sequel to Empire Strikes Back? Can you imagine if there had been four?

    Correction:
    “Of course the sound effects are there, snippet[s] of familiar dialogue, and characters”

  • Andy Bates

    I take offense at the suggestion that Empire was the only good Star Wars movie, but I suppose that’s a nit to pick for another time. Quality of the table aside, The Clone Wars is actually a pretty good series. I’d say it’s better than at least two of the three prequels. It’s what happens when fans get to play around in the Star Wars universe with opposition.

  • merryprankster

    Every time I read these blurbs on the Pinball FX tables it makes me wish I liked digital pinball….but I just can’t seem to get into it.

  • tomchick

    I will gladly pick that nit with you, Mr. Bates, at the time and place of your choosing. As much as I adore Star Wars, I don’t think it’s a very good movie on a number of important levels. At least, it’s nowhere near the level of Empire Strikes Back, which is far too good a movie for the series it’s part of.

  • tomchick

    Gah, is this true? If so, I’m ashamed to say I didn’t notice.

    There are a few lines that are obviously re-recorded, and poorly. But most of them seemed authentic to me. More importantly, the Star Wars expert I played with — my friend Christien Murawski from the Qt3 Movie Podcast — didn’t call out the lines as fakes. So while I can’t say for sure, Brian, I can say that it didn’t bother me.

  • greatatlantic

    Hmmm… I can’t help but think if this game is successful, a Lego Star Wars Pinball table won’t be to far behind. Only, replace the pinball with an angry bird.

  • http://twitter.com/kentdoggydog Brian Kent

    Here is the pinball trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOajo2uBvbE

    Here is a fan made trailer of the film that contains some of those same lines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOajo2uBvbE

    Which ones does the pin sound like?

    (Also, holy crap, that film trailer gave me the chills and reminded me why I love Star Wars.)

  • Courteous D

    Looks like both links go to the pinball trailer :(

  • http://twitter.com/kentdoggydog Brian Kent
  • Andy Bates

    All I can say is, Star Wars lays the groundwork for Empire, and while it’s a more straightforward, it better captures the elements of the hero’s journey, while being a more self-contained story with a definite conclusion. Someone said that Star Wars is so emotionally satisfying because Lucas resolves all three story arcs (internal, external, and philosophical) within something like 20 seconds. You can’t underestimate the impact that had on movies and other forms of entertainment for generations to come. If Empire is Godfather II, then Star Wars is The Godfather.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chase.dahl.10 Chase Dahl

    BTW these tables are also available on the Genetically Superior Android platform, as well.

  • Justin Fletcher

    Yes, it’s absolutely true. I assume the rationale is so that the voices on any pinball related phrases match the movie lines (e.g. you don’t go from James Earl Jones to James Earl Jones impersonator in the same game). Or maybe that portion of the rights was another billion dollars.

  • Moribund Cadaver

    The problem is that new lines said by classic characters were required. Since actors like Harrison Ford are kinda expensive, Zen chose to hire soundalike actors to record all the dialog. Rather than suffer the discontinuity of some lines being transferred from movie soundtrack, and some being recorded by sound-a-likes. They’ve done this before: their Avengers movie table does not use the voices of the film’s cast. Instead, for consistency, they re-recorded the movie lines using actors who supplied character voices for their existing Marvel tables. Captain America for instance, sounds like “Zen” Captain America and not the feature film actor.

    The Clone Wars table, by comparison, actually features new lines recorded by the actual voice talent who works on the show – because, heh, the animated series’ voice actors come cheaper.

    It’s something that can understandably be seen as cheesy if you choose to view it that way. On the other hand, it does give Zen’s “universe” its own identity and is not unlike some real-life pinball tables, which didn’t always hire the actual actors from feature films to record lines. Sometimes they scored the movie cast members, other times they used impersonators.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Guillermo-Matías-Gumucio/100001506489937 Guillermo Matías Gumucio

    I’m a pinball fan and ZEN has been doing a terrific job in XBoX Live. I’ve downloaded the Star Wars tables and got the same feeling as you, I was completely lost with Clone Wars and its 97 ramps.
    I’m still trying to climb up the ladder on WW Hulk (100th ranking, last time I checked into it) and the most innovative of them ZEN tables, Infinity Glauntet.