What happens when everyone in Grand Theft Auto Online is rich?

, | News

Rockstar is going to give everyone half a million dollars in Grand Theft Auto V’s online mode. If you’ve battled through connection issues, disappearing characters, and general server mayhem trying to play in the online version of Los Santos, you’ll get a cool $500,000 added to your stash in the coming weeks. Bling! To quote a famous philosopher, “I’m rich, bitch!”

In order to keep the current worldwide in-game economy balanced, we will be providing this GTA$ to players via two deposits of $250,000. We will announce specific dates as soon as possible, but are currently hoping to be able to make the first deposit by the end of next week (after we’ve confirmed that issues causing game progress loss have been fixed) with the second installment to happen by the end of the month. For players who experienced cloud server errors, connection issues, and lost game progress and characters in these first days of GTA Online, we hope this GTA$ helps to facilitate a fresh start or makes your continued life in Los Santos and Blaine County extra sweet.

Maybe I’ll give up the criminal hustle and bustle and retire to a life of leisure? Long lazy days of golf and darts are in my future. I’ll sit in the park near the LifeInvader building and grumble about these young whippersnappers and their pants all falling down. Damn kids!