Your Daily McMaster: the McMaster summer review revue insurgency

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Contrary to what Tom Chick thinks, you really don’t need all those words to review a game. And you don’t need a five-star rating system either. You don’t even have to play the darn things. Allow me to demonstrate with the games of this past summer.

After the jump, someone get Metacritic on the horn

payday2Payday 2
Review: I don’t think these guys are native English speakers.
Score: Two loose Kools and a Faygo.

srivSaint’s Row IV
Review: No zombie voice option.
Score: Some purple drank.

coh2-snowCompany of Heroes 2
Review: Realistic snow.
Score: Four snow mobiles and some of those weird snow shoes.

magic2014Magic: Duels of the Planeswalkers 2014
Review: Still no Black Lotus or Time Walk.
Score: One Richard Garfield and half a Gary Gygax.

stateofdecayState of Decay
Review: I’m afraid to log back in.
Score: Fifteen question marks and a pill bottle.

lastofusThe Last of Us
Review: Can I just skip to the next cut scene?
Score: One Tom Chick wearing a beret.

marvelheroesMarvel Heroes
Review: I think I’ll buy Iron Man! Wow, that’s expensive. I guess Hawkeye is good enough…
Score: Hawkeye.

injusticeInjustice: Gods Among Us
Review: Who the hell decided that Aquaman should have such cool powers?
Score: Shirtless Channing Tatum.