When Heroes of Normandie was released for the PC last October, it was supposedly a port of the lively boardgame. With its Nazi zombies, sexy spies, and over-the-top heroic G.I. Joes, the boardgame was a fanciful comic book version of Squad Leader, with just enough crunchy tactics to invoke Squad Leader but not enough brain-busting minutiae to invoke Squad Leader. Squad Leader for dummies who want big colorful tiles with their boardgames and artwork that wouldn’t look out of place on a Topps card.<\/p>\n
Slitherine’s PC port added plenty of the stuff you’d expect in a good boardgame port. A clear above-the-board expression of the mechanics! Campaigns! High score lists! Support for online play! Unlockables! Even a rogue-like mode with an economy and persistent units! It looked great. But then you played it and realized something was missing.<\/p>\n
The Heroes of Normandie boardgame includes cards that each player can use for unexpected gotchas, helpful boosts, and rules tweaks. Your hand of four cards is just as much a part of the gameplay as the dice, unit stats, and game board. But Sliterine’s port simply pretended the cards didn’t exist. Imagine Chess without the rooks. Monopoly without Park Place. Settlers of Catan without sheep. The Avengers without Iron Man. A fellowship of the Ring without Legolas. Two and a Half Men without Charlie Sheen. A Republican debate without Donald Trump. The Oscars without any black nominees. I can do this all night.<\/p>\n