Archive for February, 2012
When I first discovered Minecraft, it was still pretty early on. Survival mode had been added but there weren’t a ton of monsters in the game yet. It resembled what the game has become, but it wasn’t nearly as advanced. I played around with it a bit and fell in love.
Whenever I find a game I love, one of the first things I do is introduce it to my wife Sarah. I love watching people play games. Watching someone play, the concentration on the action and the elation at success, is like a drug to me. However, before I introduce a game to Sarah, I go through my checklist of things that she likes. If I don’t, I end up with two copies of the same game sitting on my shelf.
After the jump, she likes it! Continue reading →
Hold on to your earbuds, because it’s going to get confusing. We have a second Jason on board this week! Jason Cross delights us with tales of the PS Vita, funky French platformers, Double Fine’s newly won filthy lucre, and Alcatraz. We also discuss how and whether Star Wars: The Old Republic is holding up and the latest Twisted Metal.
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Conquest of Elysium 3 is so streamlined that you can easily zip through a game on your lunch hour, scooping up units and marching them across the map to discover and conquer new lands. I figure you can easily finish a game in one sitting. Less than that if you lose.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here is a game that will reward however much time you’d like to spend with it.
After the jump, when is an hour way more than an hour? Continue reading →
The screenshots for King’s Empire, a free-to-play social boondoggle for the iPhone from the creator of Island Empire and Galaxy Empire, feature women who look all coy about the suggestive text. Who me? What, these? You’re not fooling anyone, ladies. Furthermore, the iTune Stores recommends King’s Empire isn’t appropriate for anyone under 12 because of its infrequent/mild nudity, sexual content, and suggestive themes.
Wait a minute, do we go on three, or after three? Playing Rhythm Heaven Fever, I feel a bit like Elizabeth Berkley in that scene in Showgirls where she first joins the show. The rehearsal swirls around her and she looks ridiculous and out of place because director Paul Verhoeven probably has as much contempt for her as Rhythm Heaven Fever has for me.
After the jump, why am I actually playing it then? Continue reading →
Every time I get into the groove of Kingdoms of Amalur, something shoves a stick in my spokes. Just wandering through the world and discovering new locations is a thrill. The game is littered with enemies to encounter and places to explore. The combat is exciting. All of these things go into making a successful game, but something isn’t right.
What’s missing, after the jump Continue reading →
The dwarven life cycle starts with diamonds, which is kind of like real life. Diamonds come from mines. Well, some mines. You might instead find rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. Save these for later. For now, you need diamonds for the Dvala, which is what you call a dwarf queen. She wants diamonds before she’ll put out. Lots of diamonds.
After the jump, everything you always wanted to know about dwarf sex but were afraid to ask Continue reading →
Epic Quest is an easy table, with relatively simple mechanics and a reluctance to let go of the ball. Serious pinballers might find it too easy as their games drag out into virtually risk-free sessions of grinding away at a high score. The rest of us will appreciate the chance to wrap our flippers around a table as if we were serious pinballers ourselves.
Then of course, there’s the gimmick, which is a formidable one indeed.
After the jump, bat country! Let’s stop here! Continue reading →
After a strong opening and then a long lull, Anno 2070 finally gets some cool new online content today. When the game launched, it had a really neat voting gimmick for global bonuses, a friends list, achievements, and the promise of free scenarios called world events. The first world event was about fighting pirates. The pirates got beat, the world event ended, and it was time for the second world event. The second world event was…uh…dilatory. For months, Anno 2070’s world was eventless.
Not to say that the game lacks content. It doesn’t. It’s a generous package, but part of that package is the promise of nifty new online features. The unfulfilled promise of nifty online features. The friends list is still useless, there’s no way to admire other people’s cities, and the world events stopped.
That changes a bit today with the next world event! The Eden Initiative wants you to repair some busted structures called formers (pictured), which are super eco-friendly anti-pollution devices. As you finish the three scenarios in the Eden world event, you’ll unlock plans for new devices including the formers themselves. You can then research these plans in your other scenarios and build the new doo-dads. At least that’s how I think it works. I finished the first scenario and then loaded up the neverending city I’ve spent 20 hours building. I didn’t see any option to research my new plans yet. I blame the incredibly intricate research and crafting in Anno 2070.
Ubisoft is also selling some cosmetic frippery, upgraded versions of the tech you get by completing the world event, and even the option to just buy your way around the world event. More details here. Or just boot up the game and read all about it on the front-end.
Finally, someone wake up the Senate. They don’t have anything to vote for? The World Council is making them look bad.
In Conquest of Elysium 3, the new turn-based strategy fantasy game from indie developer Illwinter due out next week, each of the 16 factions is unique. This means unique troops, unique leaders, unique abilities, and so forth. It also sometimes means unique resources no one else can use.
For instance, Hands of Glory. These are the severed left hands of executed murderers. Necromancers gather them from any settlement large enough to have murders. Cities are great for this. Peaceful hamlets not so much. The real motherlode is the occasional gallows, a location on the map apparently dedicated to hanging murderers. Necormancers start with a gallows next to their dark citadel. Track down a few more gallows, conquer a few cities, and soon you’ll be rolling in Hands of Glory.
After the jump, the horror, the horror Continue reading →
Crusader Kings 2 is the sequel to what is probably Paradox’s finest game. I’ve spent quite a bit of time with it, but I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface. Which is par for the course for a Paradox game. But I can definitively say this is Paradox’s best interface yet. Not that I don’t have a list of improvements I’d like to see! It’s just that the list is shorter than it’s ever been.
Epic Quest is the new pinball table from Zen Studios for the Xbox 360, PS3, iOS, and Android. It’s a surprisingly simple and accessible table, but with a persistent RPG gimmick. I’m not convinced the gimmick adds much, but I’ve been playing it over and over and over just to be sure. I need an epic shield to round out my inventory. And I’m really close to dinging up to level 17, as I can tell by the xp bar at the bottom of the table.
Twisted Metal for the Playstation 3 is out this week. It’s a pretty awful single-player game, but it has potential as a multiplayer game, assuming you’re willing to meet it on its own terms. Sony hosted a few multiplayer sessions for media, but these didn’t really capture the full experience. So I’ll be back later this week with the final word. But for the most part, Twisted Metal sure is another Twisted Metal game! Take that as you will.
If you’re into Underground Farting Contests, which is what I’m told UFC stands for, THQ is releasing UFC Undisputed 3. Speaking of rhythm-based minigames, Rhythm Heaven Fever is not the throwaway Wii minigame collection you might expect. Check back tomorrow for more.
The Nintendo 3DS is going strong with Tales of the Abyss, a port of a JRPG from the Tales series, and Tekken 3D Prime Edition, a bona fide “yep, it’s Tekken” game. The release of Grand Slam Tennis 2 from EA surprises me, because I had no idea EA was doing tennis games. It’s hard to see over the towering awesomeness of Virtua Tennis 4. And because I missed its release last week, I should point out that the Jagged Alliance series is back in action with Jagged Alliance: Back in Action.
Us three dudes without superpowers discuss Chronicle, a movie about three dudes with superpowers. That’s hardly fair. Our 3×3 this week, which starts at the 51-minute mark, is movies that cop out.
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Every game genre develops its own language and terminology over time. These words make no sense to anyone outside of fans of that genre; your mom isn’t going to know what turtling is, unless she’s one of those cool moms that plays RTS games. Of all the genres I’ve played before though, MMOs seem to have the most exclusive and complicated words and phrases.
Some people have an ear for foreign languages and can pick them up with relative ease. I had a friend in college who spent a summer in Italy – when he came back, he was speaking Italian to my grandmother, an immigrant from there, better than I had ever been able to despite having taken five years of Italian classes. Not surprisingly, I had absolutely no idea what the hell everyone was telling me to do when I started SWTOR.
After the jump, confusion abounds Continue reading →
At the end of one of the levels in Shank 2, a lively and challenging grindhouse cartoon platformer/brawler, you’re pretty obviously headed for a boss battle against a helicopter. Which is a shame, because I have yet to fight a boss battle against a helicopter that wasn’t awful. If I never have to fight another helicopter, that’s fine by me. But I eventually figured out the flamethrower boss battle in Shank 2’s previous level. I’m sure I can handle yet another helicopter boss battle.
So first you have to run along the level and dodge the helicopter’s missiles (pictured). And then you get to the part where you have to fight the actual helicopter and — surprise! — it’s a cutscene. And as if that weren’t a pleasant enough surprise, the cutscene that follows is another boss battle that’s absolutely precious in Shank’s distinctive grindhouse cartoon way. Suffice to say Shank would win in a fight between a beefy taciturn action hero reluctantly championing a plucky rebel group and a shark.
After tweeting that the Valentine’s Day DLC for Rock Band would include the “single most requested song in 3+ years of tracking Rockband.com/request”, Harmonix reveals that it’s Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”.
My first reaction is, “Oh, internet, you are so stupid”. My second reaction is, “You know, that song is kind of catchy and I bet it would be fun on keyboards”. My third and most enduring reaction is “Wait a minute, does that mean I can do that opening drum riff? Sold!”.
But really, here’s the song I wish they would finally add.
