I’ve spent some time recently checking out the latest patch for Civilization V. To Firaxis’ credit, they’ve been trying to address some of the game’s problems. However, I kept running into situations like the above screenshot. If you’re a Civilization V aficionado, that should look pretty familiar by now. If you’re not, let me explain what you’re seeing.
I’m playing the Aztecs. Russia has just declared war on me, which is exactly what she should do, since I’ve been pushing against her borders and harassing her allies. What’s more, I’m playing one of the more advanced difficulty levels that gives computer players an advantage, so Russia has a solid economic and military lead on me. At this point in the game, I should be worried.
The closest point of contact between our empires is my city, Tlatelolco, which is tucked between mountains and a coastline. A hilly hex is the approach from the south, where I’ve parked a relatively weak unit of jaguar warriors. Russia has showed up with a unit of superior pikemen that should be able to easily punch through the jaguar warriors, especially with the help of an accompanying catapult and archer. However, the incompetent AI positions the catapult and the archer in front, with the pikemen trapped behind them. Furthermore, as the turns go by, it doesn’t swap their positions. I easily take out the ranged units, and the pikemen wait patiently for me to bring in reinforcements. Russia has essentially marched its army into war backwards.
I still love parts of Civilization V, but the tactical combat plays a significant part of overall design. When it falls apart, the game teeters to one side and eventually topples. The result is like a foot race against a one-legged man. Winning is the easy part. Doing it without feeling foolish is the real challenge.
Listen, what I have to tell you right now must be kept in the strictest confidence. They are onto me, I can feel it. They have spies everywhere. They are legion. Soon they will overtake me and it will be as if I was never here, as if I had never spoken nor written a word. I’m talking about the front page articles, of course. What did you think I was talking about? Grab a tinfoil hat and let’s do this. Mine’s the one with the propeller sticking out of the top. Let’s blow the lid off the whole damned thing!
After the jump through the blue portal, Sony kills Osama bin Laden to cover up Donald Trump’s forged copy of Brave New World. Continue reading →
Assuming you’re not in it for the multiplayer, I suspect the Playstation 3 exclusive, Motorstorm: Apocalypse, is the game to get this week. The previous Motorstorms have had great arcade driving physics and even greater graphics. This latest version’s disaster theme — the idea is that you’re racing through ruined city environments — has probably had a lot of its thunder stolen by the excellent Split/Second, but you can never have too many cutting edge driving games.
If you missed Bangai-O on the Nintendo DS and the Dreamcast before that, you missed one of Treasure’s unique treasures. The Bangai-O games are a cross between a puzzle game, a platformer, a bullet hell shooter, and a giant robot game. And now they’re in high-definition and on Xbox Live with Bangai-O HD: Missile Fury.
If you aren’t interested in playing Section 8: Prejudice on the Xbox 360, you’ll be able to get it on the PC this week. And if you want another overpriced Call of Duty map pack, this time it comes with a new zombie level featuring horror movie celebrities instead of Cold War politicians. Personally, I think it’s hard to top Robert McNamara fighting hordes of faceless zombies, but politically canny metaphors can only get you so far in videogames. At some point, it’s time to resort to the more obvious choices like Sarah Michelle Geller and Robert Englund.
