What the hell just happened?
I just want to say that my parents tried to prepare me for this. They did. They sent me to a school where I was taught that the world was six thousand years old, but when I got home they endeavored to set me straight. It was the best school choice for them at the time, but they weren’t idiots. My stepdad was a public school science teacher and an intelligent man, so he would reteach me that evolution was all a part of God’s Plan. I accepted that.
Until now.
After the jump, how I stopped worrying and came to prefer intelligent design Continue reading →
I’m in a huge battle to take the capitol city of Heim, using all of the skills and powers I’ve cultivated to this point, only to find I’m out gunned. Having a low level warlock, dragoon, and iron golem slowed my main character’s leveling progress. Because when a battle is won, all the XP is pooled and distributed. But not evenly! Low level units get the lion’s share.
It takes many battles to go from level 1 to 18, which is where most of my units are at this point. So for many battles my main troops would get a paltry 50xp while a level 7 Iron Golem would get 400xp and hit…level 8. Consequently, I’m now up against units that can (literally) bring the the judgment of God down on my head.
After the jump, ouch Continue reading →
This week’s wallet threat level is three, in honor of The 3rd Birthday, yet another distinctive title for the PSP, published by Square Enix. Considering they’ve just published the hours-devouring Tactics Ogre and Dissidia 2, I’m eager to see what the deal is with this story-driven shooter based on the Parasite Eve games.
The bigger news this week is Need for Speed: Shift 2. The original Shift was, for me, hands-down the best “serious” racing game I’ve ever played. And given that every time I boot up the frivolous and frothy Test Drive Unlimited 2 it finds some new way to break my heart, I’m ready to get serious.
Oh, there’s also some sort of 3D doo-dad out from Nintendo. Which, admittedly, looks pretty cool, but I’m not convinced it looks $300 cool. Please let me know if I’m wrong.
Sucker Punch isn’t just the name of the movie. It also the act of being charged for a ticket! If you don’t want the movie spoiled, fast forward to our 3×3 at the 57-minute mark for our favorite uses of blood in a movie.
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I present to you today’s level, Jet Storm: Customize your own Top-down Jet! And really, with a name like that, what more is there for me to say? I’m highlighting this level because I think it is the perfect companion piece to Hawkeye Fierce’s excellent Game Diary of A-10C Warthog. If you play that game and this level, I think you’ll see what I’m talking about.
On the kingdom screen you can select one from a number of quests. Once the quest is selected you can chose an approach: each hero might have a different way of going about it. If Varric the merchant took up the case of the lost boy then he’d clearly throw gold at the problem. Sebastian the monk would look to The Watcher (god, you, same thing) for guidance. Our good King Hawke will solve the problem through diplomacy. The first step is to talk to his advisor for guidance.
After the jump, the game is afoot! Continue reading →
The battle for Leningrad was one of the more horrific episodes in a war full of horrific episodes. At the same time, it’s a fascinating drama, full of intriguing angles. There’s the Finnish angle, where the Finns first declared war and then Carl von Mannerheim’s army basically stayed put for three years north of the city, resisting German pressure to launch an assault. The whole “Road of Life” across frozen Lake Ladoga is a ready-made movie script, and was the subject of numerous Soviet films. And the siege itself is an amazing catalog of events of both heroism and barbarism. So of course the most important philosophical, ethical, and historical problem this battle raises is: what kind of tires did the Russian ice trucks use, and are they properly modeled in the game?
After the jump, Leningrad or bust Continue reading →
In the context of talking about a demo of Battlefield 3 at a Chicago comics convention, this blog mentions that the console version will support 24 players, whereas the PC version will support 64 players and larger maps. Which is fine and all. Some very good games support only 24 players. Killzone 3 is just fine with 24 players, although it doesn’t have tanks, helicopters, and planes zipping around. Homefront seems to get along just fine when the vehicles roll in, and it’s only got 32 players and pretty expansive maps.
But I do have to wonder what a tricky act it is to balance gameplay when the console version will have such a markedly different player density. I guess the bottom line is that one of the reasons MAG and Killzone 3 are so good — one with 256 players, the other with 24, and both exclusive to the Playstation 3 — is that they only have to make and tune one version of the game.
Yesterday I told you that Dragon Age II didn’t have a soul, and that was why I thought it would always be in the shadow of its predecessor, Origins. I’m not entirely sure how far I want to take this analogy, but even if Dragon Age II has no soul, it has plenty of heart.
After the jump, I let go and learn to love again Continue reading →
And I’m on the pavement thinking about what the hell happened.
I just got my ass kicked for the first time in Pokemon White. And right properly. I feel my jaw clamp down. Now what?
In the previous entry I mentioned a tipping point. A point of no return. I was talking about building my team in that entry, an entry that was written in a time I like to call ‘the salad days’. We are past that now. Back then I was waxing cute about builds and choices and forgetting and whatnot. Back then, yesterday, I was winning every battle easily. And I mean every battle. Wild Pokemons. Trainers. Etc. Winning them all. I figured that’s what the game was about. Winning. [Don’t you dare go there Christien. I’m serious. Don’t you dare.]
After the jump, is you is or is you ain’t Continue reading →
Tactics Ogre features a very powerful and unique system called World, which lets you travel back in time to previously experienced events, giving you the chance to do them all over again.
Did you get to a battle early on where a unit was being attacked by brigands and you didn’t have the skill or tactical savvy to save it, so you let it die and moved on? Use World to travel back to that map later and try again! This time he or she just might join you…
After the jump, ripping the fabric of space, time, and saved games Continue reading →
The above screenshot from Dead Island looks great when it comes to rendering a wide-open Caribbean paradise with an incredibly long viewing distance. But at what price? Count the zombies in that screenshot. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Oh, you’re done already. That didn’t take very long, did it?
The Chrome engine used in Dead Island can certainly do terrain (see the ATV racing game Nail’d), but I’m guessing hordes of zombies aren’t on the menu. And with a view distance like that, wouldn’t you be able to see the zombies in the distance, even if they were in manageable packets of five or six at a time? Or will this be like an MMO, where creatures fade into the middle distance as you get closer? I don’t mean to be too hard on Dead Island. But given that the problem was solved so beautifully in the Dead Rising games, and given that shambling hordes are a core value of zombie mythology, I wonder if a year from now we’ll remember Dead Island as a trailer instead of a game.
“I’m busy!” Seriously. I am. I’m walking around, eating, sleeping, washing, looking at art, practicing strategy and swordplay, or pursuing daily work goals to keep my moodlets up. And if I have time between all that, I’m chasing after quest goals or chatting up a potential bride-to-be. She’s a pointy-eared druid. Hawke’s getting over his fear of elvish waifs with magical tendencies at long last.
What any of this means, after the jump Continue reading →
Yep, that’s Steel Panthers up there. Why would Hawkeye “Ben” Fierce, who just finished charting his head-on collision with the flight sim A-10C Warthog, want to talk about those guys? Listen to find out. And brace yourself for the dramatic outing of a secret identity!
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Look. That’s me dying up there. You know whose fault it is? Not mine. Nope. To Hitman_472, designer of Waterfall Caverns, I’d just like to say, “The fault lies with thee.”
I was humming along nicely is this cool little level. I always dig the underwater cave swimming stuff; I think the bubbles that restore your sackboy’s breath are so nifty. I was on my way to a death-free round, which I really like (who doesn’t?), when all of a sudden I was rocketed upward and impaled on spikes. Now I’ve got pretty good hand-eye, but there was no way I was avoiding those spikes on the first try. It happened way too fast. I call this little trap a Compulsory Death. And I’m none too happy about it.
You’re on notice, Hitman_472. Tell _471 and _473 they’re on notice too, just for good measure. I’m sure you guys all sit together in the cafeteria.
