Finnish developer Remedy is finally at home with Control’s nightmare power fantasy

, | Game reviews

I couldn’t tell you much about the national character of Finland. Unlike their Scandanavian neighbors, Finns don’t often express themselves in my preferred media of movies and videogames.  Some of the world’s best and boldest filmmakers are from Denmark. Swedes have made some of my favorite videogames, and a couple of my favorite movies. Even Norway has gotten into my head.  But Finland? I’ve seen two Aki Kaurismaki movies and I can’t even remember their names. I just remember concluding Finland is a bleak place with strange ideas about humor. For a sense of the deadpan minimalism of Finnish humor, look at the website for My Summer Car.  Better yet, play My Summer Car, which might be a prank.  

One of my touchstones for Finnish storytelling is a movie called Sauna, historical horror about a joint Finnish/Russian expedition to map the border between the two countries.  It sounds like an oddly specific subject if you don’t appreciate Finland’s fraught history with Russia, especially during the 20th century. This fraught history is why Finland is one of two countries whose name is also a verb (Vietnam being the other).  Finlandization means trying to not get swallowed by a hungry, vast, ruthless, bureaucratic nightmare crouched right next to you. The geopolitical equivalent of standing completely still and hoping the T-Rex doesn’t see you. So perhaps it’s a matter of national character that Control is a horror story about a hungry, vast, ruthless, bureaucratic nightmare.

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Do you even Nintendo Ring Fit bro?

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Ring Fit Adventure is a roleplaying game for the Nintendo Switch that uses a flexible “Ring-Con” accessory to translate the player’s exercises into in-game actions. See that mountain over there? You can run to it. No, really. Run! Drago, the bodybuilder dragon, is the main baddie, so the player will need to level up and rack big gains by yoga posing, jogging, flexing, and squeezing their way to victory.

Ring Fit Adventure will he available on October 18th. For $80, you’ll get the Ring-Con accessory, a strap to tie a Switch controller to your leg, and the game.

Nintendo isn’t fooling around with pirates

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Nintendo of America has filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against RomUniverse, a site that offers members downloads of pirated media, including Nintendo games. According to the California court filing, members of RomUniverse paid $30 a year to download Nintendo Switch and 3DS ROMs. Nintendo claims the files were downloaded hundreds of thousands of times. The publisher seeks $150,000 for each copyright infringement, and $2 million for each trademark violation. It’s at least a jillion Pokemon Go coins.

“The best romsite in the universe.”

Last year, Nintendo won its case against the owners of similar pirate sites and with a $12 million judgment.

There has to be a finger licking joke in this KFC game

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Yes, that’s a sexy anime Colonel Sanders. You’re looking at an image from I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator. It’s coming to Steam and it’s being developed by Psyop. The game will feature all the visual novel trappings the genre thrives on, with the addition of a steamy hot Harland Sanders.

Children of Morta isn’t just an effective and borderline twee action RPG. It’s a sentence.

, | Game reviews

The elevator pitch for Children of Morta isn’t exactly encouraging.  A pixel-art action RPG. From the creators of nothing you’ve played, because I’m pretty sure you didn’t play Shadow Blade or Garshasp.  Hold on, let me make sure I spelled that right. Yep. Garshasp.  

You can see a screenshot up there of Children of Morta in action. Like I said, not exactly encouraging.  It doesn’t help that Steam is lousy with these things.  

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Just one more turn… In Excel.

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Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a rough, but highly impressive, version of Sid Meier’s Civilization made in Microsoft Excel. Programmer s0lly made the diversion as his entry in the OLC CodeJam 2019. You can’t move through the eras. There isn’t any diplomacy. It has no AI opponents. The “countries” are limited to red and blue. For all that it’s missing, it’s still better than fighting with VLOOKUP.

Get [CELL]ivization for free here.

Divinity Original Sin 2 just whalloped Pillars of Eternity

, | Games

The other day I decided it would be pretty awesome to play Rebel Galaxy Outlaw on the big screen, with surround sound, leaning back on the couch. Since it’s built to be played with a gamepad, it’s one of those PC games that transitions seamlessly into the living room, thanks to Steam’s Big Picture mode and a Steam Link. So I booted up the Steam Link, set up a controller, opened Steam’s Big Picture, and started scrolling through my installed games. This was gonna be good.

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Divinity: Original Sin 2 switches to a portable title

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In Larian Studio’s sprawling RPG, Divinity: Original Sin 2, you can put an object into a bag, stick the bag in a barrel, then carry the barrel in a character’s inventory. Now, you can go one level deeper and put the game in your pocket as well. Divinity: Original Sin 2 is now available on the Nintendo Switch.

In most cases, a port announcement would be fairly ho-hum, but there’s a bit more incentive to pay attention here. Divinity: Original Sin 2 on Switch features cross-saving with the Steam version. If you never got out of Act 2 because you were overwhelmed by quests, you can now take the game into the bathroom with you and really get some work done.

Ghost Recon Breakpoint’s antagonist has all the cliches you need to justify the shooting

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Up next in live-action video game theater is Jon Bernthal doing his best Tom Clancy bad guy drawl. He was a loyal U.S. marine that’s now the most Call of Duty villain to grace a Ghost Recon game since the last meanie growled out a bunch of platitudes and self-righteous mental gymnastics. Hoo-rah!

Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Breakpoint launches on October 4th.

Is that an ape escape in Monster Hunter World?

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Monster Hunter World’s Iceborne expansion doesn’t even come out for consoles until September 6th, but Capcom is already talking about the free bits of post-launch content. In October, Rajang, the raging demon ape will burst onto the scene. hes’ big, mean, and uses his arms to pound opponents into submission.

If your concerned that your low-level scrub hunter may not have much opportunity to experience Iceborne’s content because it’s all high-level stuff, Capcom has heard the pleading. Newly revealed Hunter Helper incentives in Iceborne will give veteran players special rewards for helping newbies and lowbies.