Since it's Tom's home state, I thought I'd post this for him:

ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up
resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was
apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw
twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man
on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right
out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said
Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who
was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped,"
Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was
convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky,"
he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the
force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered
that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga
costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came
loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which
floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the
Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus
lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her
husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
"This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
this to happen."

Is this for real? Do you have a link?

Oh ... dear ....

That is the funniest story I have read in a long time ! (But sad that the woman died)

This has to be from the pages of National Lampoon. It just couldn't have happened like it says. Its so funny, but I'm sad the woman died too.

Oh my....

I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time!!!

"That is the funniest story I have read in a long time ! (But sad that the woman died)"

There's nothing sad about it because it's completely made up for humor purposes.

Aszurom, I think MikeJ just called you out.

Sounds like fiction to me too. There are very few toga parties around Arkansas City based on my best recollection - particularly being attended by someone from Fort Smith (~270 miles away).

That being said, people will do and believe almost anything.

-DavidCPA

Sometimes, the truth is far stranger than the wackiest fiction. It sounds just crazy enough to be true...

But, it is awfully far-fetched. I won't be surprised either way.

Still -- it would suck if someone actually died over that.

It's totally made up. C'mon -- "EAP"? That's a dead give-away. This guy (Azurom) either wrote this himself or copied it from an Onion-type page.

It's completely a joke. It doesn't even sound plausible. That last quote about it being "all too weird" is a classic "try to sound like a hippy" line. He didn't give a link because there is none.

-Mike

"Still -- it would suck if someone actually died over that."

Oh please. Are you people THIS gullible?

Actually I changed some names in that story to "protect the innocent". Actually "Jesus" was Robert Atkins, and this went on in Austin Tx.

---

Quote:

Oh please. Are you people THIS gullible?

---

"Actually I changed some names in that story to "protect the innocent". Actually "Jesus" was Robert Atkins, and this went on in Austin Tx."

Why would you change the names to "protect the innocent" in a public news story which has already been reported with the real names? Unless you're saying that YOU are reporting it and know these people, in which case I'll just call you a prankster since it didn't happen.

Unless you have proof.

You missed the reference... and the clown boat.

Ok, show of hands... who knows Rob Atkins? Who was on the GOD lot Saturday at around 5:00? Those people know what I'm talking about.

As for the story... well, I could tell you about my references (or lack thereof) but I'm enjoying the circus too much at the moment.

So you it's made up, as I said. I don't care who "Rob Atkins" is. End of story.

What is a God lot? Ah, who cares. The usual made-up bullshit.

"who knows Rob Atkins"

all I know is if Rob is Denny's brother you spell it without the "s." That's Atkin, boy. A-T-K-I-N.

FAR KING WE TAR DID said:
-------------------------
So you it's made up, as I said. I don't care who "Rob Atkins" is. End of story.

What is a God lot? Ah, who cares. The usual made-up bullshit.
-------------------------

Congratulations, you've just made a giant asshole of yourself. Would you like that suitable for framing?

Perhaps this will help you out in your future travels:
http://www.coregamer.com/images/gadgets/funbook.jpg

-------------------------
What is a God lot? Ah, who cares. The usual made-up bullshit.
-------------------------

Yeah, I made it up about the God Lot. Shit, I'm busted. You got me, buddy. Oh, the shame.
Where is the goddamn suicide key on this thing, anyway?

Oh yeah...

For those who aren't asshats, but are honestly wondering why I mention Rob Atkins (with an "S") in conjunction with the original story here:

I believe THIS clears up the whole "Who is Rob, why is he Jesus, WTF is the God lot, and why was I so piss drunk" issue -
http://www.ritual.com/inside_ritual/Cave/jesus/jesus_11.jpg

"I believe THIS clears up the whole "Who is Rob, why is he Jesus, WTF is the God lot, and why was I so piss drunk" issue"

All this clears up is that you're an idiot. If this is some kind of "inside industry joke" then congratulations -- no one got it. Except for your imaginary friends. Jackass.

Arguing on the internet is kinda like running a race in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard.

I hereby enact the Wookie Defense. It does not make sense!

"Arguing on the internet is kinda like running a race in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard."

Except in your case, the latter seems to be independent of the former.

The fat guy glaring at his camera in the back of that photo is much funnier than the target. You should crop that out and blow it up.

Nah, it wouldn't be as fun cropped...You couldn't see where the lens of that digital camera is aimed...

(Please, tell me I'm not the only one that thinks he's checking her out...)

This is too funny.

Kudos Aszurom!!

What to avoid if you want to have a good time at e3:

http://www.coregamer.com/aszurom/cornedbeef.gif

Hehehe... yeah, one of the people at soemthingawful.com was drawing sketches of everybody to break in his new tablet. Considering that the thumbnail of me he had access to was about 100x50 px, that ain't too shabby of a likeness.

Wow. MikeJ loosen up.

Az, funny story, don't care if its true or not.

It's most likely not true - but I think everybody kinda knew that instinctively. God, I pray it's not true...

This, however, IS true...

The oddest shit lands in my email. For example:
(I have NO CLUE who this chick is... NONE. I have a website, which I guess is license to send me satanic emails.)

-----------------------------------------
Email #1 of 32:

Dear Aszurom,

I am e-mailing you thinking about how Christina has treated me.
I will begin from the beginning. I was adopted to mennonites and disagreed w/
their teaching so at 18 I moved out and also got help from another couple to
deal w/ my adopted parents. I had my own apartment and after I had lived on
my own for a while I was asked if I would move in w/ a couple to help w/
their children. I said "sure". I lived w/ them for a year and then ended up
moving out (which is a whole other story). So I was 19 or 20 when I decided
to move out. I told Christina that I was moving out and she said she wants to
also so she began looking at ads. (She was only 17).
We found an apartment and ended up moving in it. We got along
fine at first. She was associating w/ neightbors and one night she told me
that they asked her if I was amish and I asked her why they asked that and
she said "well you have dark hair and you're quiet". I thought that sounded
stupid but I let it go (Christina told me she was self-concious of having
been amish so she changed the letters in her name from Christina to
Kristina). We would fight over small things I told her she reminds me of my
step-sister and she asked why and I told her because she wants to be in
charge of me. But then she met a guy and ended up engaged so I ended up
getting another apartment. It was an efficiency and I loved it. I later began
bouncing checks. My landlord told me that he wants it to stop I didn't know
what to do so I told him I would move out. Christina and I began associating
again and she told me to move in w/ her and her brother and his girlfriend so
I did. I was laid off.
Christina told me about apartments in amish country and I told
her maybe it would be good to move there since I was laid off and couldn't
afford something expensive. So we decided to do that and she told me that I
needed to move out of her brothers to wait for the apartment so I did. I
moved in w/ Royce and Marlene and was living there for a while meaning
months. Marlene ended up going on a weedend trip and asked me to find another
place to stay since she didn't trust me to stay w/ Royce. (I was called back
to work while I lived w/ Royce and Marlene). I ended up living w/ Erv. and
Diane. I got tired of moving and decided I was not going to move to
Walnutcreek. Christina ended up coming to see me and told me that if we
don't move in together than we are no longer friends so I told her I would
move in. So I waited and she did not contact me (I ended up giving her
$200.00). I called for her and I was told that she is already moving in. I
was pissed but I still moved my things into the apartment. I went to work and
told them how she said I have to move in w/ her or we are no longer friends
and they said I do not have to move in w/ her. So Yolanda who I considered a
friend helped me move my things out. I was so angry I told her to keep the
$200.00 and she never gave it back to me.
A year or so later I wrote Christina a letter and told her I
was sorry for my immaturity (which I know was wrong because I am a very
mature and responsible person) and she contacted me. We hung out again. She
said she had written a letter to me but I never saw it. Any way we associated
for a while then I left the christian church and began finding myself and
later ended up reliving. Christina still had contact w/ me.
I was having visions and in one vision I saw myself as a
black baby and also had a twin. I had another vision and saw a dark hand on
my arm telling me that my skin is too white. I told Christina about the
visions and she said she thinks the reason I had those visions is because I'm
self-concious of the amish. First of all I never was amish and secondly I was
adopted to mennonites. I just think the things she has to say about the amish
are so stupid. She is the one who said she is self-concious of the amish she
told me that when we first lived together. She was an amish girl before her
brother and his wife took her from her mother. I honestly believed I was
black and had a twin then I was and am told that I am indian and have a twin.
I have unexplained scars on my body and one of 'em is pretty big and is on my
side and I am told that I am a siamese twin.
Then Christina began having some spiritual experiences and
she became a christian. She began preaching at me and telling me what a
non-christian I am and lectured me for things that weren't even true. I wrote
her a note and told her that we are no longer friends.

OK. (read as very long Ooooo sound followed by a very long Kaaaaay.)

oh... dude... that's letter #1 of a collection of 32. Never have responded to her (would YOU?) but she sends 'em weekly like clockwork.

I'm trying to figure out some way to bottle crazy and sell it on ebay.