The other day I mentioned how much I like Tempest 2000. That reminded me how much I like Tempest 2000, so I decided to break it out and play it. Unfortunately, the box that had all my Jaguar stuff turned out to be missing, which made my obsessive nerd traits really kick in. For about sixteen hours, the only thing I could think about was playing Tempest 2000. To ramp up the difficulty, I decided I needed to play Tempest 2000 without moving from in front of my PC.

Because Tempest 2000 (T2K) is clearly the greatest fast action console game ever created, I figured some of you might be interested in my findings.

Since, as far as I knew, t2k only ever came out for the Jaguar, I first looked for a jag emulator. I had no problem finding the rom, but, evidently, there're no jaguar emulators that even partially work nor any on the horizon. So that was a dead end.

I discovered that t2k also came out for the Saturn. However, the Saturn appears to be the only console other than the Jaguar that's never been successfully emulated.

It turns out that a PC version of t2k was released in '96. I found a copy on an abandonware site. It's pretty damn close to the original. Unfortunately, it's a DOS program, the music (not important in any game other than t2k) is really tinny and the sound effects are broken. Still, at only 500k, it's got to have the highest entertainment per footbyte of any game ever. I uploaded it to www.oldmanmurray.com/temp2000.zip, where it will stay until Chet or the proper authorities make me take it down.

Because of the screwy sound, however, I still wasn't satisfied. Luckily, I discovered that in 1996 a version was released for the Playstation under the title "Tempest X" (though it's sometimes referred to as "Tempest X3"). It's almost an exact port of t2k; The soundtrack is remixed, some of the particle effects have been replaced with less effective scaling sprites, a few of the enemies are slightly modified, and, in order to remain in compliance with FCC regulations, they added lens flare. But otherwise, it's a damn good port. And here's the best part: there're plenty of playstation emulators. TX3 runs fine on both Bleem and Virtual Game Station. I bought it for five bucks at my local used game store, and it's available for 10 at www.gamestop.com. So there you go. To paraphrase the Magnificent Seven, it's time to teach those geometric shapes the real price of corn.

Fuck. I fucking *know* I had the Playstation version of that Tempest game, but I can't find it. Chalk it up to one of those things I loaned out and never saw again.

Erik got me all psyched to bliss out in front of the TV in a Tempest groove, but now I don't have the damn game. I hope whichever fucker borrowed it and didn't return it rots in hell.

Actually, maybe I sold it...

-Tom

Damn! You and George Jones should have a cussing contest! ****!!!!! :)

It's starting to sound like Kingpin in this thread.

Fuck.

-Monkeybutt

Oh, it's not even CLOSE to Kingpin-levels yet. But it fucking could be...

Okay, this is the fucking end of the god damned line. I come to this forum expecting fucking intelligent conversation. I do not expect to see a bunch of normally intelligent well educated people turn into moronic cockmongers and break down into a god damned swearing-competition. You ass-monkeys have crossed the line.

Fuck you. =)

--Dave

Net Nanny's gonna have a ****ing fit! :)

Is there a version of this game for fucking Dreamcast?

Amanpour

Fuck no.

You could always buy a fucking Jaguar and get the fucking game with the fucking system. But then you have to fucking bid on that shit and some cocksucker is likely to stick his fucking bid in at the last possible fucking second.

--Dave

Fucking asswipes have fucking ruined this fucking thread.I can't fucking believe it.

Go outside and get a life fuckers.You all suck big green donkey balls,you donkey-fuckers.

-Monkeybutt

I feel much better now. :)

What's lasted longer: this tedious thread or the length of time since Old Man Murray's last been updated?

The Jaguar was a fucking sick console. Sick. Once I actually get some money in my bank account, I'm gonna get on eBay to buy a Game Gear, a Nomad, a Jaguar, a TurboGrafx 16 and a 3D0. Ah, my youth.

You can have my frickin' Jaguar and my frackin' TG-16 if it'll wash your freakin' mouth out and make you feel fruckin better. :D

"length of time since Old Man Murray's last been updated"

I guess you didn't catch this:

www.oldmanmurray.com/temp2000.zip

I got that demo bundled with my old Wingman Warrior ages ago. Awful joystick and implimentation but it did have a directional spinner that worked great with Tempest.

"I guess you didn't catch this"

LOL, it's not an update unless there's a link on the OMM site I can click.