TomChick - News - 08/27/07 - Link
So I'm trudging my way through Metroid Prime 3, which turns out to be one of those really long games, padded as it is with lots of back-and-forth in that oh-so-very- Metroid way. And as I'm getting warnings that my Wiimote's batteries are dying, about twenty or so hours into the game, I realize that the four lights at the top of Samus' visor are also a battery gauge. Very cool, Nintendo! I love you for those sorts of little touches, even when you make me fight the same fucking goddamned boss for over a fucking hour. That part's going to be really awesome for all those Joe Six-Packs and Wii-Sporting Grandmas. I guess I'm glad to see Nintendo is letting Retro Studio design for gamers even more core than me, but fuck if it isn't frustrating after the awesome smooth sailing that was BioShock's nearly immaculate narrative.
So, here I am, batteries fading, but I can't be bothered the change them, because I'm pretty sure I'm near the end of the game (I'm not, but I won't know this for another hour or so). I press on. And then the Wiimote starts fading out occasionally. Well, this is no good, particularly if I'm about to fight the final boss. I better replace the batteries before things get tricky. I've been meaning to pick up a pack of AAs, but I keep forgetting. It's time to search the house for something with AA batteries I can scavenge.
The batteries in my other Wiimote, the glitchy one that's never been the same since it was thrown into the wall when the wrist strap broke, are dead. I already raided my mag light for the batteries that just died in the Wiimote. There's a pair of batteries deep in the junk drawer in the kitchen. Dead. There are batteries in my hand-held tape recorder, but I haven't interviewed anyone in a while, so those batteries have long since been scavenged. There's only one AA battery in my mantle-top clock. Fuck, am I going to have to drive to 7-11 at four in the morning just so I don't lose momentum?
Oh, wait, my TV remotes! There are batteries in the main remote, but according the Samus' visor, they're really low. The last place I look is in the Bluetooth controller for the Playstation 3, which I've been using to watch movies. They're Sony branded batteries that came with the controller. And now they're in my Wiimotek, powering Nintendo's Wii revolution. Poor Sony and the indignities it has to suffer at every level.