Shoot Club: Episode III: I'm Just So Tired of These Star Wars
TomChick - Columns - Comments - 06/02/05
Now Trevor's testing Cin for weak points, holding Anakin’s block and watching what happens. He's getting killed, but these are test runs. I've seen him work before. This is how you suss out a boss.
"Well, what kind of office is it?” I ask while the lightsabers crackle. “What kind of office has people who don't get a Star Wars line like 'Stop this bickering'?"
"'This bickering is pointless'. Medical software or some shit. I don't know, I just work there."
"I can't imagine you'd get much of a Stardar reading at a medical software company."
"Dude, it's computer stuff. Anywhere you have computer stuff, your Stardar should be going off. These people are just retarded or something."
"Well, my Stardar doesn't go off a lot these days. There's a lot more competition for geek attention. Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. Magic. It's not like when we were kids and there was just the one thing."
"Please, like you even have Stardar anymore. You're so out of touch with the whole scene. Why do you think I'm here to defeat Cin Drallig instead of you? You haven't even seen the second Star Wars movie."
"Are you kidding? I love the Empire Strikes Back. In fact, I think it's the best one."
"No, no. That's the fifth one. And everybody knows that's the best one, so don't think that gets you any Star Wars cred."
"Oh, you mean that Revenge of the Clones thing? No, I haven't seen it."
"It's Attack of the Clones. Christ, you're like my mom. I can't have a conversation with her because she can't even get the titles right. She's always calling it The Star Wars."
"Well, I've seen the original movies and I saw the first prequel. I'm pretty much done with the whole thing."
"Yeah, and that means you're totally out of the loop. Remember that Star Trek thing?"
I'm not sure what thing he's talking about, since I've never been into Star Trek. I wouldn't know a Deep Space Nine from a Voyager. Once, during a game of You Don't Know Jack, I chose 'Klingon' in response to 'What race is Spock?'. Trevor still rolls that one out from time to time.
"No."
"That thing with Jeri Ryan?"
"Oh yeah, that."
I was doing an article on a Star Trek game and there was going to be at a press junket with some guy named Jerry Ryan who was doing voicework on the game. When I told Trevor about it, he got really excited and said that Jerry Ryan was totally hot and wasn't I lucky? I remember thinking that was uncharacteristically enthusiastic for Trevor to get about some guy, even if he was on Star Trek.
"You don't even know Spock was a Vulcan. Half Vulcan, actually. You don't register on my Stardar any more,” Trevor says, testing Cin for an opening. “It's kind of sad, really, considering what you were like when I met you."
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