My friend sent me this while I wasn't in the clearest of mental states, so when I woke up this morning I reread the entire thread and played through a couple of times to make sure I hadn't made up how absurd it was. It seems even weirder in sobriety.
Except when their HANDs are holding cleavers ;)Originally Posted by Angie Gallant
And I also registered because this thread is so hilarious and I wanted to thank you Angie.
Having read all this now, this:
is so much more hilarious. As if that conclusion was the most foregone thing in the world.
I would recommend that Angie have "Edge of Seventeen" playing in the background whilst playing this.
This is it. The last route, the last night I will play the Hatoful Boyfriend demo. Let's hope that Lunarpages doesn't try to shut me out again.
Zepo1a, here is the in-game explanation of the human portraits (which I will get screen captures of this time)
He looks so much happier as a human, which is so horribly appropriate having played his route. Damn you, pigeon game.
His eyes are open. This portait is a lie.
Not gonna lie, snooty racist is looking pretty fine.
Ghost bird's human profile is looking pretty feminine, even for the genre.
International spy for the Dove Party, folks. Take it in.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I bet that's the exact look he would have had on his face when describing my gruesome fate if he was human. Fucking fat bird.
And finally, our target for tonight. He's so bird that the best the visualization engine can to is to put a school uniform on him. He is ultrabirdy.
I hereby christen Oko: Derpybird. DID SOMEONE SAY CUSTARD? WHERE?
So anyway, Cloaca-chan finds Oko-san angrily stomping on a store-bought pudding and asks him why.
This better not be the abusive bird boyfriend route.
He cares about pudding. A LOT. Anyway, since we're going after him, I join the track team.
Oh Cloaca-chan. You just never really keep anatomical reality in mind, do you?
Even after all this time, the game retains the ability to make me say "What the hell...?"
Fat Bird isn't fat enough as a human. He lacks...his large puffy menace.
Really game? Pokemon?
Yeah, I was feeling that too, but look into his EYES, man. They're liquid pools of murder. You could get lost in those eyes while he chops you up...
The "Appears" made me think of old school Dragon Warrior. Oh, god, I'm dating myself.
I'll give his little smirk one thing, though, he looks like ten seconds from full on slasher smile.
Yeah, I was thinking that too. I wonder if his whole arc is gonna be full of references to games...
You know the problem with Fat Bird's human picture? It's not just that he's not puffy. He doesn't look disgruntled. He looks entirely too cheerful. I'm having a really hard time imagining Fat Bird's Human Alter Ego hopping out of a Christmas tree and attempting to murder me, and every time I've heard "and a partridge in a pear tree" this holiday season, I see someone getting slaughtered by a disgruntled partridge.
In order to actually join the track team, I have to race against Oko-san. Now he easily boasts about being the fastest bird in school, but he is a dove. A turkey-sized dove. And Cloaca-chan is a full-sized human. She should be able to wipe the floor with him either, way, but I'm gonna go with distance running because EVOLUTION.
Maybe so, but this is a distance race, not a sprint.
BULLSHIT! My vitality score is 805! My species is adapted for this! Fuck you, Oko-san!
Class hike time comes around and of course I talk to Oko-san.
And of course he is having a fit about pudding. Sorry, bird, but reality is not obligated to match your expectations. Your utterly bizarre expectations.
He isn't disgruntled in the game... from the screenshots I've seen from Angie, he's cold and calculating the entire time. That smirk is PERFECT for him. He's DISTURBED, and loving every minute of it.
Yes but the bird itself looks horribly disgruntled.
All the old timers complaining how QT3 went to the birds after Tom Chick flew the coop, haven't read this thread. Truly awesome.
Angie do you speak Japanese? I am curious if any Japanese speakers have played the game in Japanese and if so, is it as wonderfully whacky?
Sports festival comes and goes. Oko-san and I both run in the marathon and nothing of note occurs.
Weird.
I go eat in the cafeteria and find Ryouta and Oko-san fighting.
Ryouta again begs me to put a stop to Oko-san's rampage, but I'd rather watch a bird fuck shit up this time.
Well, that relationship progressed awfully swiftly. Connection through destruction, I guess.
Wait what
....I think maybe she's quoting something that doesn't translate?
....I'm starting to think that San may be her soul mate.
Still, tumblr is obsessed with this guy. Seriously!!! Search for his name in that place and you will see an abnormally high number of fanart featuring him in creepy, gruesome, gruesome+erotic and _ oh God forgive me _ even CUTE portraits off that cursed fat bird!!
I really really really really really really really want to ignore this post, and pretend I never saw it, but DARN YOU, NOW I HAVE GO LOOK AT ALL OF THOSE!!!
On the final day of school before summer break, Cloaca-chan decides to be a good girl and go clean up the track club's activity room.
He did what now
Sooooo... he brought a bunch of beans to the club room, spread them out on the floor, and now he's eating them?
And I don't even know enough about the bird uplift to know if this is supposed to be weird or not!
Well, when life gives you floorbeans....
So yeah, that just happened.
This game has me signing up on forums to explain Ghibli references.
I guess there's no return...
In the film Princess Mononoke there is a wild girl called San who lives with wolf gods in a sacred forest. A man called Ashitaka travels on his elk/thing Yakul to her forest to seek a cure/redemption for attacking a rampaging god. When he arrives he finds an ironworks village called Tatara that is destroying the forest and causing unrest amongst the gods/animals.
Oko San is your beautiful wild girl who will teach you harmony with p-- nature. Essentially.
I've seen Princess Mononoke, but I didn't recall the names.
Mostly the "OH GREAT FOREST SPIRIT! WE GIVE YOU BACK YOUR HEAD!"
....
Which always fills me with the urge to yell "AND YOUR KEYS! YOU LEFT THEM AT THE BAR!"
Not one of the great translated lines of all time.
Most of what stands out about that film to me is the heads doing things. Like wolf heads eating people. And arrows decapitating or delimbing things. And gods going crazy because they have no head.
You know, he might be fucking insane, but at least he doesn't hide his feelings or anything.
I called it. Oko's story is ALL REFERENCES. Now, I may not GET them all, but THEY'RE ALL THERE. I bet even eating beans off the floor is a reference to SOMETHING.
So, I finally joined the ranks of those who got an account here just because of Pigeon High School. I actually downloaded the game and played every bird's ending in one extremely strange sitting.
And believe it or not, Okosan's actual ending is even more bizarre.
God help me if the summer festival doesn't have pudding.
Luckily, he thinks the festival is wonderful and has a great time sampling all sorts of non-pudding food.
That is, until the fireworks begin. He went on a rampage after seeing the pretty lights and loud sounds. I was not aware that this was a dove's instinctual reaction to fireworks, but this game has educated me on so many things.
So anyway, I was sitting here all innocently getting ready for another track meet and looking forward to hanging out with Oko-san again when
AUGH!
I confess, I actually jumped in my chair when he popped up.
Suddenly I am concerned about how this route is gonna turn out...
Uh, are the last two pictures SUPPOSED to be the same?
Nevermind, fix'd.
OHGOD FATBIRD
JUST RUN
I've already went through his whole path and got to the conclusion that yes, they are soulmates. And Oko San is the best bird you will ever meet. Ever.
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