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Thread: Hatoful Boyfriend - A dating game about pigeons.

  1. #421
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    Victory or Calorie?!

  2. #422
    Mad Chester
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeon221 View Post
    Victory or Calorie?!
    Well, losers in this game do tend to end up as food...

  3. #423
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    Man, I have made fun of how sadistic it is to make the birds run instead of flying, but the human/bird pair in a three-legged race coming in second is just made of sadness. Those poor birds. There is nothing honorable about it.

    Summer festival comes around and naturally I invite Ryouta to it.



    Guys.

    Guys, this is it. This is a date. The game has finally lived up (down?) to my original expectations!

    The pigeon dating game is finally letting me date a pigeon!



    So of course I eat bird while on a date with a bird.

    One day after school, Ryouta asks me to walk home with him, and of course I accept because HOORAY I AM FINALLY ON HIS ROUTE. As we are walking home, we come across a starling who is nurturing her chicks well past the season when they should have left the nest, and talk about how all the birds must be changing now, not just the doves and partridges and pigeons. He then suddenly thanks Mahoney out of the blue.



    D'awwwwww... no wonder he's always trying to take care of her.

  4. #424
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    ... Does the advertisement on the bird festival booth have a baby chick in a soup ladle?

  5. #425
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie Gallant View Post
    So of course I eat bird while on a date with a bird.
    Does it REALLY surprise you at this point?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatoful Boyfriend
    I found Ryouta freezing on the ground after falling out of his mother's nest
    So... birds have evolved at least to human intellect, but if a baby falls out of its nest, sucks to be it? WHAT ABOUT HUMAN erm... RAPTOR RIGHTS? What are these pigeons, Spartans? If the baby messes up in any way, DEATH TO IT?

  6. #426
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    Oh Cloaca-chan, always the graceful conversationalist.



    I nearly hacked up a lung laughing at this. They might be destined lovers based on their communication skills.

    Anyway, later Mahoney is the one asking Ryouta to go walk home together, but he declines. Later she sees him leaving the hospital and asks him what's up.



    I don't know if it's because of the sad piano music or because I have well and truly lost my mind, but that stock photo of a pigeon just looks so sad right now.



    Stop making me feel concern for a fictional bird, stupid game.

  7. #427

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    Intelligent birds are cooking other intelligent birds. Fat Bird is just the tip of this dysfunctional iceberg.

    Count me as another registrant lured by pigeon game. I've been playing it myself and it's incredible. Your commentary is great and seeing it is comforting somehow, like having someone else tell you they also saw the thing you think you might have just hallucinated.

  8. #428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie Gallant View Post

    I don't know if it's because of the sad piano music or because I have well and truly lost my mind, but that stock photo of a pigeon just looks so sad right now.
    Will someone please poorly photoshop (or even better, MSPaint) a badly drawn couple tears into that picture of Ryouta? THIS NEEDS TO BE TURNED INTO A MEME. I tried, but apparently forum newbs can't post pictures or links.

  9. #429
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    Cloaca-chan cheerfully offers her well-wishes for Ryouta's mom to get better soon.



    Ouch.



    Damnit, game. STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING FUN OF YOU.



    Well, on the bright side he will soon be able to become Batman? Seriously, going back to wacky school antics after that is just going to feel wrong. Poor Ryouta.



    I-I guess this means we aren't going back to wacky school antics?

  10. #430
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    The text message says to meet Ryouta in the park at 7, so of course Cloaca-chan does.



    Guys, it's not just sad piano music now. It's sad Christmas piano music.

    Damn you, pigeon game.



    And this is the demo. I bet I won't be able to make things better for Ryouta. It's going to leave me feeling terrible for a fictional pigeon in a dating game. DAMN YOU PIGEON GAME.



    Yes! Let's go taunt the doctor or make fun of Oko-san's pudding or stumble on a global bird conspi--



    "THIS IS SAD."

    "YES."

    "LET US CONTINUE TO DO THIS."

    "YES."

  11. #431

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    When Oko San was first introduced I was like "why do we need this super wacky character, does a game about dating photographs of pigeons really need help being goofy and wacky?" but now I understand.

    Also please post the characters' human portraits! They're hilarious.

  12. #432
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    Quote Originally Posted by browneyedrecluse View Post
    ... Does the advertisement on the bird festival booth have a baby chick in a soup ladle?
    The banner and sign actually say "chick scooping", which is pretty doubtless a take-off on the "goldfish scooping" games that are basically omnipresent at Japanese summer festivals. The implication that one is meant to take the chick home with them as a pet is more than slightly worrying in an in-universe context.

    Also hello all I am yet another registered-just-to-post-to-the-pigeon-thread newbie and I am not even slightly ashamed.

  13. #433
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    He's totally going to find her freezing and flopping around in the dirt.

    But instead he sends her a text message telling her to hurry to the park.



    But earlier the game told me that it was weird that his mom kept getting sick in the winter since pigeons do better in cold than heat! Narrative, don't break down on me now!



    I can't even distract myself from how sad this is by complaining about the music because there is none. Only silence. Well played, pigeon game.



    You and me both, Cloaca-chan.

  14. #434
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinel View Post
    The banner and sign actually say "chick scooping", which is pretty doubtless a take-off on the "goldfish scooping" games that are basically omnipresent at Japanese summer festivals. The implication that one is meant to take the chick home with them as a pet is more than slightly worrying in an in-universe context.

    Also hello all I am yet another registered-just-to-post-to-the-pigeon-thread newbie and I am not even slightly ashamed.
    It KINDA makes sense. I mean, humans practiced slavery for thousands of years. Perhaps chickens were less affected by the ensmartening virus, and so are considered second class citizens? That are... also... eaten, apparently? I dunno, just don't question it.

  15. #435
    World's End Supernova
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    This is way more engaging game dialogue than the real dating games.

  16. #436
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    I am sadfacing as hard as I can right now.



    Yes, he still has his big, smelly, violent primate friend.





    NOOOOOO RYOUTA STOP TRYING TO BE STRONG

    STOP MAKING ME CARE

  17. #437
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange Quark View Post
    It KINDA makes sense. I mean, humans practiced slavery for thousands of years. Perhaps chickens were less affected by the ensmartening virus, and so are considered second class citizens? That are... also... eaten, apparently? I dunno, just don't question it.
    See I would buy that... if chickens weren't in the same taxonomic family as partridges ಠ_ಠ

    (Which is not even within the same order as the family Columbidae by the way yes this has been bugging me for pretty much the entire game yes I am a bird dork.)

    In other news, Ryouta ಥ_ಥ

  18. #438
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    Why is this the romantic route? Oh lordy all these feelings.



    I'm actually rooting for a human-bird relationship. Not necessarily the romantic aspect, but I want them to be friends forever and always support each other.

    I am totally caught up in this shit now.



    Oh no, I know where this is going.



    GODDAMNIT. This is a far more reasonable reason for not initiating relationship than any other bird has given! It's logical! It makes sense! AND I WANT THEM TO UTTERLY REJECT IT RIGHT NOW.

  19. #439
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinel View Post
    See I would buy that... if chickens weren't in the same taxonomic family as partridges ಠ_ಠ

    (Which is not even within the same order as the family Columbidae by the way yes this has been bugging me for pretty much the entire game yes I am a bird dork.)

    In other news, Ryouta ಥ_ಥ
    BIRD NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD
    No but seriously, it isn't JUST pigeons. I'm pretty sure they said ALL birds were affected by the virus to at least some extent. They even mentioned that one species of bird was only raised to the level of say... an autistic human. I don't remember what it was though. This makes me wonder about some of the stranger birds, like... ostriches. And Penguins.

    And on the Ryouta front, apparently it is IMPOSSIBLE TO PLAY THIS GAME WITHOUT SOMEONE DYING. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THIS?

  20. #440
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie Gallant View Post
    It's logical! It makes sense!
    Logic? IN MY PIGEON GAME!? WHAT IS THIS?

  21. #441
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    Congratulations, everyone involved in this project. You have successfully created a character who can bring up all the things I had used to make fun of the very idea of this game, and done so in a way that makes me upset that it's actually happening. That's just good writing.

    Ryoutaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...



    YOU TELL HIM, GIRLFRIEND. KICK REASON TO THE CURB.



    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



    I am filled with pride over a character I named Cloaca Mahoney fighting for her inter-species love.

    THIS FUCKING GAME.

  22. #442
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    Ok you are technically wrong about his ancestors since they were uplifted by a derpy virus but minor factual mistakes aside PREACH IT, GIRL.



    I swear, it's eerie how often the game immediately addresses my objections immediately after I make them.



    Yes, completely ignore the sense he is talking and keep fighting!



    Ah, back to more familiar territory with the inferiority complex.

  23. #443
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    Wait, in Yuuya's good ending (erm, the spy pigeon) it said you lived together for a long time, fighting injustice and such... did he have a "normal" pigeon lifespan too? INCONSISTANCIES!

  24. #444
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    ho ho ho once is usually enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Jason McCullough View Post
    This is way more engaging game dialogue than the real dating games.
    Some people find themselves engaged sufficiently in real life.

  25. #445
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    Having trouble uploading images. To be concluded as soon as my FTP unfucks itself.

  26. #446
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeon221 View Post
    Some people find themselves engaged sufficiently in real life.
    Engaged to pigeons? Pretty sure that's illegal, and also weird. At least in the United States. Then again, some dude in Japan married a videogame, so WHO KNOWS.

  27. #447
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange Quark View Post
    BIRD NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD
    No but seriously, it isn't JUST pigeons. I'm pretty sure they said ALL birds were affected by the virus to at least some extent. They even mentioned that one species of bird was only raised to the level of say... an autistic human. I don't remember what it was though. This makes me wonder about some of the stranger birds, like... ostriches. And Penguins.
    Oh my god I would so play a penguin dating sim.

    But yeah, clearly the Passeriformes haven't been hit in a big way yet since they were remarking on that starling nest earlier, and unless I'm remembering wrong the only not-Columbiforme who's appeared has been Fat Bird, and the only other ones mentioned were the puffin (Charadriiforme) that got elected the governor of something or other and the kakapos (Psittaciforme) that have finally gotten smart enough to use a toilet.

    ... Man though I feel kind of terrible now about geeking out about birds in the middle of Ryouta's personal crisis. What has this game done to me.

  28. #448
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinel View Post
    Oh my god I would so play a penguin dating sim.

    But yeah, clearly the Passeriformes haven't been hit in a big way yet since they were remarking on that starling nest earlier, and unless I'm remembering wrong the only not-Columbiforme who's appeared has been Fat Bird, and the only other ones mentioned were the puffin (Charadriiforme) that got elected the governor of something or other and the kakapos (Psittaciforme) that have finally gotten smart enough to use a toilet.

    ... Man though I feel kind of terrible now about geeking out about birds in the middle of Ryouta's personal crisis. What has this game done to me.

    This game has made you human. Erm... Pigean? ANYway, yeah, the kakapos I guess was what I was remembering. And I had forgotten about the puffin. "Fat Bird" is a Pheasant, isn't he?

  29. #449
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    Fat Bird A*K*A Iwamine Shuu is a partridge.

  30. #450
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    too tired to make an actual meme for this

    Quote Originally Posted by Angie Gallant View Post
    Problem, bird?


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