Reply With QuoteOoooo fun. can't wait for him. hope that stuck up jerkwad gets whats coming.
Alright, getting a late start on this tonight, but it is totally pigeon time. Tonight: the snooty racist.
Ooooo fun. can't wait for him. hope that stuck up jerkwad gets whats coming.
The school for talented birds only has human musicians on the wall in the music room? When that's something birds had down well before the hilarious virus exchange?
Anyway, I join the student council since Sakuya bought his way to the presidency and keeping close to him should unlock his route.
WHOA MOVING A LITTLE FAST THERE, SAKUYA
WHY SO SUBMISSIVE?
Well, I guess it's kind of comforting to know that he can be racist across species lines? Geeze.
Cloaca-chan calls him out on it and asks if he isn't Japanese too.
Well, that just makes good sense. I mean, Sakuya is a fine French name.
Wait, does that mean that in this route, I am the yandere? Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...
Anyway, I choose to be Student Council Vice President, since nobirdie else showed up to run.
Oh god, I just typed "nobirdie" without even thinking about it. Fucking pigeon game's getting into my head.
I... I can't tell if I am confused because this whole conversation is legitimately confusing, or if I am confused because it's not crazy enough.
Fucking pigeon game.
But I guess he respects my moxie and I want to eat him. At least I think that's what I am getting here.
The sports festival comes and goes. Despite Sakuya being tricked into being a cheerleader, hilarity does not ensue. So instead, have a random thought from Cloaca-chan.
Thank you for that observation.
And thank you, Yuuya, for the random information. What?
Oh, well that makes sense, he got his start like most bloggers then.
But... oh god I have to not think about it. ithappenedwhentheyweredumbithappenedwhentheyweredu mbthisisdumbthisidumbthisisdumb
Why sure, I'll get right on that and--
shit just got meta, yo.
Sometimes I forget why I hate you more than Fat Bird, but you always kindly remind me. DIAF.
Anyway, semester ends and it's time to clean up the student council room. Sakuya is just ordering Cloaca-chan around like an asshole when I get a chance to make her stand up for herself.
Yeah, use that mop with your... beak? One leg? Fuck it, just do something.
He makes a token objection about having never mopped before, but backs down surprisingly easily.
Aaaaand I think the thread just became a little bit more relevant to Repoman's interests.
oh jeez! Hahahaha, we should totally show this game to the guy in charge of that blog! It'd be pretty hilarious to see his reaction!Originally Posted by Guido Jones
Also, DAMN, Angie, you've got that fool tamed!
His high standards mean that his flesh will be pure and untainted when I finally serve him up, right? That's gotta be why he's acting like such a twit, so I am further motivated to eat him later on down the line.
After all his whining, he ends up buying a candied apple anyway.
See? This has to be providing me with the motivation to murder. There's no other reason for this nonsense.
The cultural festival rolls around and I feel like checking out a haunted house. And what better accessory to bring to a haunted house than a killjoy?
Perhaps I am wrong about the motivation behind the way Sakuya is being written. Maybe this is meant to make me feel better about being killed over and over by Fat Bird. I mean, those don't even really feel like bad ends anymore.
Anyway, I tell Sakuya to get his bitch ass in the haunted house.
You'd think that Cloaca-chan would have realized that she can just skip the part where she asks nicely and go directly to the part where she orders him to do it whether he wants to or not.
Anyway, as we approach the haunted house, Sakuya expresses some... unusual concerns.
Isn't that little zombie pigeon just the cutest thing ever?
Well, that's what I thought until I remembered Fat Bird. You don't know what they made that thing out of.
There's the set up...
... and the pay-off. Can I eat him yet?
The music playing is a piece far more complicated than a pigeon could peck out, which makes this kinda amusing. I kinda want to see him just headbanging away.
Aw shiiiiit, Cloaca-chan's hallucinating again.
Yes, yes, your pride and wounded dignity and blah blah blah
WHOA conversational whiplash.
Well, looking back over what we have learned about Cloaca-chan from the past several playthroughs, she likes red meat and, uh, white meat...
Delicious white meat.
I'll accept it. Ball's in your court now, jackass.
According to my dad Fat Bird is a Chukar Partridge. Explaining this thread to them was easier than I expected - "you see, in Japan they have these games where you're a schoolgirl trying to get boys to like you. Someone made a parody where instead it's all pigeons. And one is a doctor that keeps trying to kill and eat everybody." I guess Japan's so strange that even the rural elderly aren't surprised by a thing.
This is up to your flowerdong standards. Well done!
Even his invitation to a party tempts me to murder.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS--
wait
that laugh
...
Is Fat Bird wearing Sakuya as a bird suit?!
No, that's definitely Sakuya, but his snooty rant is cut off by the sound of breaking glass.
OKO-SAN! OKO-SAN! OKO-SAN! BAH GAWD IT'S OKO-SAN!
OKO-SAN 3:16 SAYS GIMME SOME DAMN PUDDING
BAH GAWD, KEENG, OKO-SAN'S STOMPING A PUDDINGHOLE IN THAT FEAST AND WALKING IT DRY!
It's amazing how just one thoughtless line from Sakuya has me firmly on the side of the guy who is breaking and entering. Still, I decide to help Sakuya out while Oko-san is going berserk and ruining the feast. And thus I retire my awful Jim Ross impersonation.
Poor Cloaca-chan has mansion envy. You know what would be easier than digging out a new room? Killing Sakuya and taking his stuff.
Well done. HO HO HO.
As Cloaca-chan is surveying the surrounding area, she notices that some birds have collapsed in the street. Including Sakuya.
See? It would be so easy and he's making himself so hate-able.
Anyway, Cloaca-chan asks him why he was wandering in the wilderness, which is odd since she had just specified a street.
See? He's insufferable!
Cloaca-chan, full of infinite patience, then asks if he wanted something from her.
It would be so easy to eat him, Cloaca-chan. He's just a bird, and you have your hunter-gatherer instincts and blood lust.
Instead, she flounders about for a bit while he refuses to communicate, then offers to call his parents to come get him.
Look, all I am saying is that he has knowingly put himself in an situation where he is isolated with an omnivorous predator and is acting like he wants to d-- oh my god I have become Fat Bird.
This is what Sakuya has driven me to.
PigeonCraft!
Cloaca-chan ignores my continued pleas for her to kill Sakuya and instead manages to pry the story out of him. He has run away from home because he is in line to become the next head of family due to the purity of his bloodline and he doesn't really want to inherit.
I know he's going to make me regret that twinge of sympathy before too long.
Well, that explains where he gets his assy attitude. Doomed to douchery from birth. Cloaca-chan asks him what he really wants from life.
#firstbirdworldproblems
Anyway, Cloaca finally pries the admission that he wants to study music more than anything in the world out of him and convinces him to ask his father for permission.
Do roasting pans count as safe?
So Sakuya sets off to seek his freedom.
Only because she ordered him to.
Ehhhhhn. I have to admit, this route didn't feel particularly inspired, and it didn't really inspire me. Oh well, they can't all be genius.
That's right, your penance was going through mediocrity.
Sweet merciful Batman in Gotham. I came here looking for some vague explanation of Hatoful Boyfriend such that the latest thepunchlineismachismo.com comic would make slightly more sense. I got over 200 screencaps of Pigeon Dating and a Qt3 username.
Overall, I call this evening a success.
Watching like a hawk for the next update
I love you, Angie! <3
Aaaaand now the little ads at the top of my gmail inbox are pigeon related. Thanks guys. XD
Oh bollocks, now I'm playing "Don't take it personally, babe, but this is an unnecessarily long title for a game" and I suppose it can only go downhill fast from here.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME.
You know, when I think about it now, looking at the characters we've attempted to court so far, right now I'd say the snooty racist is one of the more sympathetic ones.
Poor bird probably grew up with hatred and jealousy for "common folk", envying them for their ability to follow their own desires and dreams, while he felt he was stuck on a singular track in life thanks to his wealth, his position, and his father pushing him along the road to inheriting the family business. It's only because of Mahoney's encouragement that he manages to take a stand against his father, and perhaps because of this, he may grow into a better person in the future.
Ghost bird was pretty damn sad himself, and the thought of being a unresting spirit confined to a single place while not knowing you're actually dead.... is pretty tragic. I like both Sakuya and Nageki, they're probably my favorite characters in this pigeon dating game.
Fuck them, fat bird was the bomb dot com.
I love these threads and how they make me drop everything to read up about them.
If it was only a bird-touching game... that would be something to ruffle your feathers with.
Posting Permissions
