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Thread: Hatoful Boyfriend - A dating game about pigeons.

  1. #1
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    Hatoful Boyfriend - A dating game about pigeons.

    I have a horrible cold and I am miserable so naturally I am dating pigeons.



    This is my childhood friend. We just had a conversation about how how it's hard to get the day started without red meat in your belly, and now we are going to St. Pigeo's School for Talented Birds.

    Fuck yes.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:50 PM.

  2. #2
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    What is this I don't even


    (side note: I feel like just by viewing this thread I've been put on an FBI watchlist)

  3. #3
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    OMG, is this Balls Mahoney in pigeon form? Sorry about your horrible cold, but your illness is a small sacrifice to pay for what could potentially be the greatest thread ever, right?

  4. #4
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    Oh look, a transfer student.



    You will be mine.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:50 PM.

  5. #5
    New Romantic BleedTheFreak's Avatar
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    Hatoful is like the ugliest word I've ever seen.

  6. #6
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    EDIT - well, THAT was odd.

  7. #7
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    WHAT NO GLASSES ON THE TEACHER CHARACTER

    Also my character is Cloaca Mahoney because, you know, pigeons.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:50 PM.

  8. #8
    World's End Supernova
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    Due to my work's smartfilter weirdly blocking truemeaningoflife.com I've never actually read one of these threads.

    Does Balls Mahoney ever befriend a delightful young lady named Axl Rotten?

  9. #9
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    Kind of brings new meaning to doin' the pigeon.

  10. #10
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    I don't know, now I am torn between the stuck up fantail and the depressed mourning dove who was waiting all summer for the books I checked out.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:50 PM.

  11. #11
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    So there I am, swanning around school minding my business, when the fantail comes across his half-brother and decides to get all racist towards him. Hmph.



    Dude, not the most graceful rebound from being slammed by your brother.



    OH SHIT HE SAW THROUGH MY CUNNING DISGUISE
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:51 PM.

  12. #12
    New Romantic BleedTheFreak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie Gallant View Post
    OH SHIT HE SAW THROUGH MY CUNNING DISGUISE
    This made me snort water, so .... thanks for that. :)

  13. #13
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    After that, my teacher lets me know that my childhood friend went to the infirmary with a stomach ache. OFF TO COMFORT SICK BIRDS!



    I may have the body of a person but I have the soul and instincts of a beautiful raptor, goddamnit. And it says that no one is here. So I poke around wondering what all the drugs are when suddenly



    The doctor appears. He's offering to feed me drugs, he is the closest thing to a glasses character this game will have, and his theme music is Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I MUST HAVE HIM.



    Maybe I've been listening to too many Yandere Boys Heaven cds (don't ask) but that doesn't sound too bad. I mean, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies! You can't set anything too horrible to that, right?



    Sold!
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:51 PM.

  14. #14
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    A dating sim about birds in high school. What?

    NINJADOCTOR?!

  15. #15
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    Wouldn't having a club for birdwatching at St. Pigeo's Academy for Talented Birds be like having a voyeurism club at a human school?
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:51 PM.

  16. #16
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    You know, I've been rolling with the madness remarkably well but



    Even I gotta manwhat at that.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:51 PM.

  17. #17
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    this has got to be some sort of horrible feverdream
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:51 PM.

  18. #18
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    I don't even need to read this. I'm just laughing at the pics.

  19. #19
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    So it comes time for me to choose what afterschool club I am going to join and OF COURSE I pick the health team because I gotta get me that crazy doctor. I show up and



    BOO. NO ONE LIKES YOU YUUYA GO AWAY.



    OH GOD SHUT UP

    Finally that asshole fucks off and leaves me alone with the drugs.



    The mysterious ninjapigeon drugs. Yessssssssss
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:52 PM.

  20. #20
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    So anywhere there I am deciding what random vial of horrible to gobble down first when I notice that the doctor's desk is messy. Now Yuuya did warn me not to touch the desk, but I bet if I tidy up his desk he'll suddenly-



    Oh cliches, you so predictable.



    Yeah, I touched your stuff. You gonna do anything about it other than trying to act vaguely menacing?



    I guess not. Oh well, at least I have a totally bitchin' cave to hang out in.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:52 PM.

  21. #21
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    The next big event is the class hike, and I decide to hang out with the stuck-up racist for funsies.



    He's such a bitch.



    Just to be clear, despite all the weirdness this is a dating game. I am supposed to find at least some of these birds appealing. But who the fuck does this appeal to?



    YES I LOVE PIGEON SPORTS but not enough to actually participate, so I decide to hang out in the first aid tent on the off chance of getting some drugs from the doctor.



    Goddamnit!

    On the other hand, look at that background. What the hell kind of sports festival is this?
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-30-2011 at 05:35 PM.

  22. #22
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    This needs to be cross-referenced with the "Help me find games my wife might like" thread.

    Also, this looks suspiciously like the school dating game Angie wrote about a year or so ago, only with pigeons instead of anime characters.

  23. #23
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    Yes and no, Yuuya.



    Did I mention that they aren't allowed to fly? It's a sports festival at a school that is explicitly for birds and they aren't allowed to fly. It's a school run by sadists.



    Fuck the sun, I hate it too.



    Sigh.
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:53 PM.

  24. #24
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    everybirdie


    Hahahahahahhahahahahahaha

  25. #25
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    Any game with the words "ninja doctor" is full of win.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bahimiron View Post
    Due to my work's smartfilter weirdly blocking truemeaningoflife.com I've never actually read one of these threads.
    All you're missing is 11 megabyes of fucking PNGs. Jesus Christ, waiting for this page to load gave me dialup flashbacks.

  27. #27
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    What is it with kerning in these games? I get that the English text is an afterthought but goddamn it pick a font that doesn't add half-spaces between each letter.

  28. #28
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    Anyway, I ace my mid-term exams and decide to go hang out with the doctor.



    PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS



    Goddamnit, game, why won't you let me be honest about my feelings.



    We are definitely entering Yandere Birds Heaven territory now.



    OH COME ON
    Last edited by Angie Gallant; 11-28-2011 at 08:53 PM.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by IainC View Post
    What is it with kerning in these games? I get that the English text is an afterthought but goddamn it pick a font that doesn't add half-spaces between each letter.
    Presumably they use the same text layout engine as for the Japanese text, which is written that way.

  30. #30
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    This is all Photoshopped, right? I mean, no one actually MADE this game, did they? Right?

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