You neither have to post, nor explain, why you chose any particular path.
You're making some assumptions here I wont correct at this time. But i will say that, and to paraphrase Clausewitz, "This thread is sometimes regarded as nothing but the continuation of politics by other means."But instead, people are behaving (again begging everybody's pardon) like a pack of dogs sent to fight a bear.
Then again, how can you improve if you accept your inferiority as a part of the natural order of things?