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Thread: Incredible True Story That Really Happend

  1. #1
    Anonymous
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    Incredible True Story That Really Happend

    LOL, this probably doesn't even rate as an urban legend, but it's sort of funny.

    This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

    In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

    "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.

    "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

    "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

    "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

  2. #2
    Mad Chester
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
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    1,290
    I'm not sure why screwing Cinderella's coach would be much less embarrassing.

  3. #3
    Social Worker
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    Jun 2002
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    I need a woman that turns into a pizza and six-pack

  4. #4
    Account closed World's End Supernova
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
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    Boletaria, Gamertag: Ben Sones PSN: bsones
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    What the hell is the deal with all the fucking weirdo sexual deviant posts that have been showing up here lately? Did someone post a link to these forums in alt.freaks.scary? I know Tom and Mark want to keep this an anonynous and moderation-free zone, but the psycho sex spam and anonymous X-rated anecdotes are getting really annoying.

    [cue response from Ted Kline or Pat Travers or one of the many other freako pseudonyms...]

  5. #5
    Anonymous
    Guest
    I need a woman that turns into a pizza and six-pack
    From the looks of you, a pizza that turns into a woman would be a lot more practical.

  6. #6
    Social Worker
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    Jun 2002
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    3,798
    Do I know you? I certainly don't think so.

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