My poor dwarf has been lying in bed as an invalid for weeks! Hopefully this extra time will miraculously heal him...
My poor dwarf has been lying in bed as an invalid for weeks! Hopefully this extra time will miraculously heal him...
Sorry, I got really busy with work.
Skip me.
Players
1) Calistas
2) Morberis
3) Major Icehole
4) Kalle
5) Wisefoo (inactive)
6) John_Danger
7) Damien Neil <-- CURRANT PLAYHAR
8) ??? (sign up now!)
And I'll follow up Damien so add me to the list.
I will try to get my turn started tonight.
I'm looking over the fortress now. MY GOD WHAT IS THIS PLACE.
I'm not going to try to figure out who needs a name; if you want a dwarf named after you, request it again please. No fair asking for a name if you had one and died!
From the diary of Inod `Damien' Dallithoddom.
Today was the first day of Spring. It was a big day. Mrs. Angie Gallant who is the Baroness, told me that I was going to be in charge of the fortress. I asked her isn't Mr. Iceholedur in charge and she said that he was touched in the head. I think that Mrs. Gallant wasn't too happy when Mr. Iceholedur made Mr. Abiding Dude throw away his hammer.
So Mrs. Gallant told me that everyone had taken a vote and decided that I couldn't do any worse running things so that I was in charge. Isn't that funny? Then she went to a party. Between you and me, I think Mrs. Gallant drinks a bit too much of the ale if you know what I mean and I think you do. (Daddy always says that, so it must be true.)
I thought I'd start my first day by telling you all about my family. It's been really sad lately, because a lot of dwarves died, but Mommy says that they're better off that way. Sometimes I see Mommy standing by the lava trenches and staring into them. I don't like it when she does that.
But there's ever so many dwarves still alive, and I have to tell you about them all!
Acoustic Rob is the tax collector. Everyone hates him except for Mrs. Gallant.
Abiding Dude is the Hammerer. He's been so sad since he lost his hammer.
Adam Altman is a weaver.
Adam Biessener says he makes charcoal, but I'VE never seen him do it.
Adree takes care of the animals.
Alan Au is a peasant.
Albert Woo kills animals and cuts them up. That's so gross!
Angie Gallant is our Baroness. She's soooo cool. I want to be Baroness too!
Barstein carves bone. Isn't that CREEPY?
Bob Cherub runs the pumps.
BobjustBob is TimJames's kid. His Daddy was Nixon66, who died. That's sad.
Brad Grenz is a stonecrafter.
Brian Rubin catches animals outside. That's awfully dangerous. He's so brave!
Bullhajj is a peasant.
Chet is a wrestler.
Chreese carries stuff around.
Chumpface makes bows.
Claycw grows stuff for us to eat. I hate plump helmets. Don't you?
Cosmic Hippo tans hides.
Creole Ned is a mason.
Ergo is Jazar's kid. Jazar died, though, and nobody knows who her Mommy is.
Dave Long cuts the most *BEAUTIFUL* gems.
Demolira is a miner.
Drastic makes pretty jewelry! I want him to make me a necklace so badly!
Failed Sacrifice is a wrestler. I don't know why everyone calls her that.
Iceholedur is the Dungeon Master. He used to be in charge.
Joe is the fortress guard. We only have one.
Mathew Gallant is Angie's Consort.
Meng Nitigmebzuth is my Mommy! She's also an awfully good mason.
Metta is a peasant.
Mike Sofaer runs furnaces.
Morkilus is an awfully good carpenter.
Prolix is my Daddy! He's also a wrestler.
prolix is the clerk. Don't confuse him with Prolix!
Qorgyl runs the pumps. He's got big muscles!
Quatoria is Captain of the Guard. He's scary. He's killed 23 dwarves!
Raptor Jesus is a miner.
Raylee plants things.
Rico Suave cooks stuff.
Robert Sharp is a wrestler.
Rose Gallant is our Princess!
rowe33 makes armor.
Sepiche is a kid. He's also Mayor.
Scrax cooks stuff.
Tom Danger is a woodworker.
Tom Selleck says that he's a chippie. I don't really know what that is.
Walter Yarbrough is a new recruit.
I don't know Sepiche really well, but he's awfully popular here. When he was really young, he made this earring called Ukerstelid Ast Kol and everyone said he was Gifted. I've seen the earring and it's nothing special though. It menaces with spikes of native copper. I don't know why everything has to menace with spikes. Anyway, Sepiche's Daddy was Kalle but he died and that was really sad. But Sepiche has a pet horse and that's really cool. And he says that Lenod Gravefresh talks to him and says that his Daddy was reborn as the horse. Lenod Gravefresh is the God of death and reverse, so I guess she would know about things like that. ANYWAY, everyone likes Sepiche and he's an awfully good stone crafter AND a grower AND a pump operator too! And he's SOOOOO strong and agile and tough it's like you wouldn't believe.
So I guess that's why he's mayor, even though he's just a kid. I don't know why they don't have him run the place instead of me. I mean, he IS the mayor and all.
He killed a dog once, though. I don't know why. That was mean of him.
Tomorrow, I'm going to try to draw some pictures of our home, so you can all see what it looks like! It's really cool, except the rain gets in and there's lava everywhere that's awfully hot, and everyone says don't touch the levers or we'll all die and there's monsters outside and Mommy says don't go in the tunnels or else and everyone keeps dying. I wish you were here so you could see it too!
[Editor's note: Everything Inod says about Sepiche is true. That kid scares me.]
I found this really funny, but then again I am quite drunk on "Typical Hawaiian drink with fruit init please!!"
I'm excited and stimulated. It could be the Mai Thais or your writing, Damien, you decide!
Players
1) Calistas
2) Morberis
3) Major Icehole
4) Kalle
5) Wisefoo (inactive)
6) John_Danger
7) Damien Neil <-- CURRANT PLAYHAR
8) Nixon66
9) ??? (sign up now!)
I've asked three other times for a name and I hope that the fourth time's a charm.
(I liked your write-up, Damien.)
Great job on the synopsis. Can't wait to see what's in store.
Man, I'm terrified of this fortress, every person who comes to work on it the first thing they say is "What the hell is going on here!".
Should be fun.
From the diary of Inod `Damien' Dallithoddom.
I promised that I would draw some pictures of where I live so here they are!
This is where we put all the dead people. The dead people go in coffins under the ground. Mommy says that living under the ground is sinful and that's why we live in Quakebells, but I guess it's okay if you're dead. There are bedrooms underground with the dead people, but nobody lives in them any more. Maybe all the people who lived in them died and now they're in the coffins. Wouldn't that be funny?
There are farms down with the dead people. Mommy says that it's okay for plants to live underground. Mr. Raylee works in the farms and he says that the coffins get in the way and that he wishes they would go to heck only he doesn't say heck.
This is a bit of our Pile. We keep our stuff in the Pile. Once Mrs. Gallant said why is everything in one Pile we could use some order around here but prolix (not Prolix who is my Daddy!) said don't touch you'll mess up my System.
This is some of our Ice. We pumped an awful lot of water out of the ground because Mr. Iceholedur said there is Bauxite under the aquifer, and then it all froze and there is Ice everywhere. I want to go skating on it, but Daddy says that it is too dangerous because of the Unicorns.
Bauxite is a highly heat-resistant stone suitable for building mechanisms and floodgates for magma control. It sometimes contains rubies and sapphires, which can be found in no other stone. It is high in aluminum content, but we don't know how to smelt it. Maybe someday I'll figure it out!
Anyway, I went and looked and I don't see any Bauxite. Sometimes, I Just Do Not Know about Mr. Iceholedur.
[Editor's note: Girl knows her minerals. That's dwarves for you.]
Remember, during my turn I took the fortress army and deliberately pissed off and generally fucked with the unicorns and maybe the satyrs, so if they keep some sort of aggression meter I've definitely contributed to it.
Haha, I was only off by about 27 dwarves. Also about who was going to go insane.Originally Posted by ~EFG~
I do love the current style of reporting, Damien.
Alright, sign me up. I've managed to complete Calistas tutorials and ,with the exception of totally flooding the 'new entrace', and then turning my magma chamber into a lake when I tried to drain all the water, I think everything went pretty well.
So you drained a flooded section of your fort and at the same time created a hotspring? Perfect! Now you just need to drop a few dwarves in there via a bridge to enforce minimum of personal hygiene and possibly some forced relaxation. Just make sure they don't turn to mud, after being covered in progressively thicker layers of dirt over the years you can't be sure they haven't become largely made up of dirt, and possibly vomit.
It's priceless... I'm happy to see Quakebells back to form after a month or so off.
Give thanks unto Raptor Jesus, miner.
edit: I suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure hope Raptor Jesus isn't sacrificed for our sins by being dropped into a volcano.
Last edited by Aeon221; 04-03-2009 at 10:54 AM.
There is Bauxite exposed! It's just under water, look below the stairs where the pumping is happening.
Thanks! When I saw that one of the two unnamed dwarves was a little girl, I knew who had to be in charge. :>
Huh. I looked there, but I didn't see anything; I'll check again.
From the diary of Inod `Damien' Dallithoddom.
I never knew that it is so much work to be in charge!
Mrs. Angie Gallant and Mr. Matthew Gallant and all the other nobles said we had to have a Meeting. They talked a really long time about how they want dining rooms and offices and bigger bedrooms and tombs and all kinds of stuff. I was really bored but I didn't yawn or anything and I said I would See What I Could Do. (That's what Daddy says when I say I want a new dress.)
I looked all over the place and I found some rooms that nobody was using! So now Mrs. Gallant has a nice dining room but she says it is not large enough. I don't know why she doesn't just eat in the great hall. It's ever so nice with all the other dwarves around although I do not like it when they say eat your plump helmets there are starving dwarves who do not have any.
I think that it's just confusing that Mr. prolix who is our Clerk has the same name as Daddy. I told him that he is now Mr. Dave Perkins and he said that is all right.
Hooray! As a math teacher in real life, I am very happy to be a Clerk.
From the diary of Inod `Damien' Dallithoddom.
Elves came to see us! They look silly because they don't have beards. Don't their chins get cold? They couldn't come inside because of the Fire Moat so I pulled a lever and made the bridge come down. I wasn't sure what lever to pull so I had to guess and I guessed right! I'm glad I didn't flood the farm with magma because that would have taken FOREVER to clean up.
One elf wanted to talk to Mrs. Angie Gallant. He was awfully shouty. I call him Mr. Shouty Elf. Here is a picture of Mr. Shouty Elf talking to Mrs. Angie Gallant:
Mr. Shouty Elf shouted a lot and so did Mrs. Angie Gallant so she was Mrs. Shouty Dwarf. And then they shook hands and Mrs. Angie Gallant said we would only cut down 100 trees this year but she had her fingers crossed behind her beard.
The elves wanted to trade with us and I thought we were in Trouble because we don't have a Trade Depot but no we actually do. It is on the second floor but there is a Ramp for the carts to go up. Mr. Dave Perkins took care of trading with them. We bought some cages and some arrows and a lot of liquor. It's nice having something new to drink although SOME dwarves drank too much of it.
Here is a picture of Mr. Dave Perkins trading with the elves. He is Taking Them For All They've Got.
Ooh the EXCITEMENT! :-D
I'm a fan of the new writing style. :)
Feel free to use robsam if you have more unnamed dwarves.
I also would like to express this sentiment.
I submit an absentee ballot voting YES on proposition "Little Girl for Boss".
Improperly filled, of course, but the intention is clear!
If not improperly filed, they don't (re)count!!!
From the diary of Inod `Damien' Dallithoddom.
Goblins attacked us!
Maybe I shouldn't have left the bridge down. Mr. Adam Biessener was outside doing something and goblins ambushed him. Goblins are soooo nasty. Sometimes they steal kids and take them away. Mommy says they only take kids who don't eat their plump helmets but I don't believe her.
We could hear Mr. Biessener yelling for help and I told Mr. Quatoria and his guards to go and help him. Mr. Quatoria ran so fast you wouldn't believe it. I think he was faster than a catapult stone! He just charged out the door and FLEW at the goblins and he beat them all up. He hit one goblin and it went FLYING and he turned around and hit another and another and they all died. There was blood and goblin bits all over the grass.
Here's a picture of Mr. Quatoria fighting the goblins. Isn't he cool? And kind of scary.
Mr. Quatoria and his dwarves were really fast and they killed all the goblins but they weren't fast enough I guess. One of the goblins got Mr. Adam Biessener. Mr. Quatoria hurt the goblin really bad before he killed it but that didn't help Mr. Biessener much.
Here's a picture of poor Mr. Biessener. We didn't have enough coffins so we couldn't bury him which was really sad. I'm going to have someone make lots and lots of coffins so we all have someplace to be when we're dead.
But That Wasn't The Half Of It, as the Dungeon Master said to the Baroness. (I don't really know what that means, but Mr. Iceholedur says it a lot.)
Mr. Quartoria and his dwarves had just come back inside when MORE goblins attacked us! They were a bit to the northwest and they killed a cat. I was kind of sad because I think cats are pretty but Daddy says they are Vermin and that the goblins Did Us A Favor.
So Mr. Quatoria had to go back out and kill all the OTHER goblins. After that, I noticed that lots of dwarves ran out to pick up the goblins' stuff. I thought that was dangerous because what if there were more goblins? So I told everyone that they couldn't pick up any stuff from dead things unless I tell them that it's okay.
I had Mr. Quatoria walk around for a bit to see if there were any more goblins but he did not see any.
A while later, Mrs. Angie Gallant told me that she heard that nobody new was coming to live with us this spring. I said why not we have lots of empty beds and she said that's the problem. So I said we could get rid of some of the beds but it seems that the problem is really that everyone is scared. I'm going to write them a nice letter and tell them that it's okay and Mr. Quatoria killed all the goblins and that he won't kill them unless they're mean or don't do what Mrs. Gallant says and that I'm going to make sure that there are plenty of coffins so that they don't have to worry about having a place to stay when they are dead.
Also, we saw some wolves. They weren't close to us but I made Mr. Quatoria go out and kill them all anyway. There were also some satyrs and I told him to kill them but he said no they are harmless.
Here are the wolves before Mr. Quatoria killed them all.
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