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Thread: Uncontacted Tribe

  1. #1
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    Uncontacted Tribe

    I bet they would hate our freedoms.

    Ten bucks says there is a Starbucks, a McDonalds, a mall and a internet-cafe here in two weeks.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24880941/?GT1=43001

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by id4698 View Post
    Ten bucks says there is a Starbucks, a McDonalds, a mall and a internet-cafe here in two weeks.
    I'll take that bet. I'll see you on June 15th, and you better have my money!

  3. #3
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    There is no need for alarm, bibles and missionaries have already been paratrooped into the area. The natives reportedly have a preference for high-caloric food, so they've sent the extra-husky variety of evangelicals.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by CounterMeasure View Post
    I'll take that bet. I'll see you on June 15th, and you better have my money!
    Damn! How about June 15 2010?

    Threat from loggers though? Jesus...did you see the guy with the black paint? God help the logger that stumbles into that guy's village. That guy looks like a bad-ass.

  5. #5
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    I think that was a woman.

    edit: Yep, there's the floppy native tits.
    Last edited by Tankero; 06-01-2008 at 09:22 AM. Reason: Post-oogle

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by id4698 View Post
    Damn! How about June 15 2010?

    Threat from loggers though? Jesus...did you see the guy with the black paint? God help the logger that stumbles into that guy's village. That guy looks like a bad-ass.
    Yeah well The History Channel's Ax-Men got renewed so we'll see. That guy with the hook hand is pretty badass!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tankero View Post
    I think that was a woman.

    edit: Yep, there's the floppy native tits.
    Damn, you are right. Good analysis. I am showing my city-bred ignorance, but that makes it even scarier now.

  8. #8
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    Those tits are killer weapons in the right hands.

  9. #9
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    Man, talk about a wtf moment. You wake up, take a morning strut, enjoy the tits flapping in the breeze... AND THEN IT HAPPENS. Giant flying noise widget out of nowhere.

    If it were me, I'd have shat my loincloth.

  10. #10
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    They've never had contact with the outside world. All they know is some giant shiny monster is flying above them. And they SHOOT ARROWS AT IT. That's hardcore.

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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    You fool, Whitta. You missed the chance to photoshop yourself into one of those blank icons.

  13. #13
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    I'd totally send in a stack of my best units, capture the villiage, reduce the taxation rate to nothing while improving the infrastructure, then start cranking out the painted archers en-masse. Sure they're only going to rock until the age up, but they're shooting at planes with arrows, so you just know they have super high morale and won't break no matter what kind of losses they take. Plus, maybe there's a hut you can build to upgrade them to painted riflemen?

  14. #14
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    I talked about this story for a bit with a friend of mine who is an anthropologist. He hasn't worked in this area, but he says from talking to colleagues who do that it is very unlikely these people are "uncontacted". What's more likely is they have been specifically moving away from logging activities. That is they have chosen to move away from civilization, not that they are entirely unaware of the existence of other people. They almost certainly know, more or less, what the plane flying over means and they are telling it in their own way to get lost.

    The whole way this situation has been discussed in the media is a pretty archaic mix of "noble savage" and "people as fauna".

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    My understanding is that there are many tribes like this. Hundreds, I think. This is just the latest one.

    But yes, I hope someone goes to them soon with the news about Jesus. It's about time they joined the pain train.

  16. #16
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    What does uncontacted tribe mean, exactly? I mean, does the Brazilian government just ignore them? Does it mean they have no formal relations with them? Are they considered citizens? Do they pay taxes or have to adhere to other laws?

    Certainly it doesn't mean the tribe has had no contact at all with the outside world. I'm sure they hear noises and go investigate and then see machinery, or hear planes overhead and see the paths jets make and such. Is it wrong for me to assume there is no way humans on earth can seriously not know about modern society? That they'd freak out if they saw a car or a helicopter? That seems unfathomable to me. I can understand knowing the rest of society is out there and wanting to remain how you are, but not knowing it at all?

    Plus, if your village was really tiny by this time in your evolutionary history you'd be seriously interbred.

  17. #17
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    Look up the history of Papua New Guinea if you'd like an awesome example of how large groups of people can know nothing about the modern world.

  18. #18
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    I suppose if a tribe saw airplanes and such, wouldn't they just chalk it up to the same thing they attribute volcanoes to and anything else they don't have enough science to explain? Just lump it all into "the gods" category?

  19. #19
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    Here's a paper that talked to an actual anthropologist that made the same point I was making above:
    How many of these are genuinely unaware of the modern world is also unknown. "To be honest, I think first contact is a bit of a myth these days," Bourque said. "Even if they are genuinely uncontacted, then they will probably have been in contact with other similar Indian groups who have had contact with outsiders."
    However, other Murunahua groups still exist, still living the traditional way, in communities deep in the forest – and they do not seem to want to be 'discovered'. "What has happened," says Hill, "is they have moved even deeper into the forest."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aeon221
    Look up the history of Papua New Guinea if you'd like an awesome example of how large groups of people can know nothing about the modern world.
    This history of PNG is also an awesome example of anthropologists crawling all over a country for 60 years, many of them (esp. in the early days) desperate to find an "untouched" tribe.

    It's interesting you mention PNG, that's where my friend did his field work. The people he was working with were pretty damned remote. There was a lot of the stuff you'd expect (thatch huts, witchcraft, etc) but some stuff you probably wouldn't. For example, a chief from a neighboring village accused my friend of actually being a smuggler who was taking drugs to a Mafia controlled submarine off the coast. All in all, a pretty awesome conspiracy theory and a good example of how culture spreads quickly and in unexpected ways.

  20. #20
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    As for inbreeding, there is a much larger population of this same group that remains 'unseen'. A woman and a couple of dudes usually entails a much, much larger society behind them. These societies also have very speicif rules to avoid inbreeding -- the women from one village are sent to another to look for husbands, etc.

  21. #21
    Formerly CalvinGT Neo Acoustic
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    It's just so awesome that they call it First Contact. I mean, what would they call it? But still-why don't WE have a prime directive? Huh? What's stopping these tribes from stealing our warp drive and shit?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by malphigian View Post
    Here's a paper that talked to an actual anthropologist that made the same point I was making above:

    This history of PNG is also an awesome example of anthropologists crawling all over a country for 60 years, many of them (esp. in the early days) desperate to find an "untouched" tribe.

    It's interesting you mention PNG, that's where my friend did his field work. The people he was working with were pretty damned remote. There was a lot of the stuff you'd expect (thatch huts, witchcraft, etc) but some stuff you probably wouldn't. For example, a chief from a neighboring village accused my friend of actually being a smuggler who was taking drugs to a Mafia controlled submarine off the coast. All in all, a pretty awesome conspiracy theory and a good example of how culture spreads quickly and in unexpected ways.
    A mention of PNG in a discussion related to "first contact" scenarios isn't so much interesting as inevitable -- kind of like Hitlah in a Bush thread. Interesting link though.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by CalvinGT View Post
    It's just so awesome that they call it First Contact. I mean, what would they call it? But still-why don't WE have a prime directive? Huh? What's stopping these tribes from stealing our warp drive and shit?
    Maybe we should airdrop a book about Chicago gangsters and come back in 100 years.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gordon Cameron View Post
    Maybe we should airdrop a book about Chicago gangsters and come back in 100 years.
    Is it entirely wrong that I think that would be absolutely fascinating and would give money to see it on tv. I mean, it's not all wrong is it?

  25. #25
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    Drop a soda bottle from the air and follow the wacky adventures of the tribesman that picks it up.

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    om nom nom nom nom

    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Master View Post
    Drop a soda bottle from the air and follow the wacky adventures of the tribesman that picks it up.
    "And so, son, that's why we had to kill Uncle Donnie. Handing people a magic unbreakable bottle full of your own excrement mixed with mud and telling them that it is a healing salve is just not cool... you know, for a crazy guy, he sure had flavorful breasts."

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    "The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory is protected in accordance with international law. Otherwise, they will soon be made extinct," said Stephen Corry, the director of Survival International, which supports tribal people around the world.
    Hurf. They'll probably fire arrows at the first person who tries to speak to them. This guy should volunteer.

    When that happens, he'll be saying it's time to pave paradise and build a parking lot without being ironic about it.

  28. #28
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    What are you talking about? In that quote he makes no mention of contacting them, just protecting their territory.

  29. #29
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    How dare they.. uh.. live in a remote part of the jungle and mind their own business!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by a winnar
    Drop a soda bottle from the air and follow the wacky adventures of the tribesman that picks it up.
    win

  30. #30
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    I would approach the tribe completely naked, other than being covered from head to toe in gold makeup. Then I would tell them that if they don't do as I wish, I will become angry and use my magic.

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