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Thread: Shite Club

  1. #1
    Anonymous
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    Shite Club

    Trevor sat on top of my refrigerator, his soiled bathrobe splayed open, balls dangling into an open tub of onion dip on the top shelf of my fridge.

    I lift a stale Ruffle from the grease-lined bag, scoop it through the mold-fringed dip and raise it to my lips with a single fluid motion. Crunch.

    "How does it taste," Trevor asks, smirking.

    "Pubetastic," I say. "Wanna play Sacrifice?"

    "Sure."

    "I'll call my girlfriend first and tell her I can't make it for brunch."

    A pregnant pause. We both erupt into laughter.

    "What girlfriend," Trevor chortles, spittle dangling from his lip.

    At that moment, the last sperm in my testicle sac gives up and dies.

    "Dude, get in here and play."

    A lone tear descends my noble cheek. I pause a moment to mourn the children I'll never have, the women who will never know the poignant taste of my intimate flesh.

    "Loser buys frozen burritos," taunts Trevor from behind his 25 inch monitor.

    I shake off the Gen-X self-reflection and head into the gaming lounge for another day of harmless fun.

    FIN

  2. #2
    Anonymous
    Guest
    The guy who wrote this should have his head run over by a bus full of retarded schoolchildren.

  3. #3
    Anonymous
    Guest
    I disagree. It has some merit. I laughed a few times.

    Not the best, but a good first try.

  4. #4
    Anonymous
    Guest
    Oh, fuck you "wells."

  5. #5
    Social Worker
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Southern California
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    4,427

    Re: Shite Club

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Jenkins
    Trevor sat on top of my refrigerator, his soiled bathrobe splayed open, balls dangling into an open tub of onion dip on the top shelf of my fridge.
    Damn, how far is that from the top of the fridge to a shallow container on the top shelf? If the freezer is on the top, that is a good two feet! Talk about needing a Sac Doctor!

  6. #6
    New Romantic
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
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    I thought that too, but I wasn't going to post it. Because that would mean I was thinking about another guy's balls. And that's kinda gay. Not quite as gay as picking the Elf in Gauntlet, but a little gay nonetheless.

  7. #7
    Anonymous
    Guest
    SPOILER:

    It was a 60-pound tub of onion dip, purchased a year before at Costco.

  8. #8
    Social Worker
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    Jun 2002
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    Australia
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    Grrrreat, Shoot Club now spawns fan fiction.

  9. #9
    Social Worker
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    Chicagoland, IL
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    Yeah, Tom has nothing to fear. That fanfic just goes to show how much devotion the fans have! Even if they are gay and put there scrotum in onion dip... whatever the hell thats supposed to mean. :roll: I take it Paul Jenkins is just jealous.

    etc

  10. #10
    Administrator World's End Supernova
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
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    24,921
    Personally, I prefer the work Paul Jenkins has published under the name Darren Wilson, which reads like fan fiction for one of Bub's Games Domain columns.

    -Tom

  11. #11
    Anonymous
    Guest
    Praise be to Allah, blessed be his prophet Mohhamed...

    Oh, wait, I think I'm in the wrong room. I thought this was Shiite Club.

  12. #12
    Account closed New Romantic
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Austin, TX
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    9,901
    :lol:

  13. #13
    Anonymous
    Guest
    that's some funny shit!

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