Lets just say that people in the military are real damn good at killing people, and sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes you fire on your own troops, or wipe out the wrong city because your intel co-ordinater has been up for 2 weeks and fucked something up. With 50 thousand kids and a hundred thousand bombs mistakes are inevitable.
Annoying to the survivors this leads to a rather conservative mental retreat, because you have to justify killing all those people somehow. It's the only way some people can sleep at night.
I just hope that with enough time they can come to grips with their history and be socratic and logical. It still takes time though. Dead friends and dead enemies lay heavily on the mind.