No, I'm not posting another stupid post like my first two..this one really is a question for everyone.
Since my wife left me 2.5 years ago I haven't dated much but have had people try and set me up off and on. Well, I did meet a girl through a friend and we've gone out a few times and I like her personality, her morals, her family values, her sense of humor...she's very cool.
Now, after having her over to the house a few times and having her initiate sex multiple times during those two visits, those actions and our subsequent talks have made it clear that she is very driven sexually.
Jackpot! This would seem to be perfect....good person, intelligent, loves sex.
The only problem is that I am just not that physically attracted to her. She's not bad looking, she's tall like me, she has looooooong legs...I don't know what it is, I just don't get all excited to get naked with her and go at it.
That is obviously going to be a problem with her "drive." She says shes ok with me not being all sexual with her but I'm sure after awhile she will get tired of me 'having a headache.'
I'm just not sure if I should keep seeing her and just hope that more of the good feelings I already feel translate into more attraction for her...or, if I should just give up now and wish her a good life. She's definitely way, way more sexual than any woman I've been with and I don't know If I will ever be able to keep up! Just curious what others might think.
TheRock
Well, first, you've come to the right place. If ever you wanted to get relationship advice or tips on making love, I'd say a bulletin board hosted by gamers and populated by gamers is lothario central.
That said, I'd focus more on your real problem - you're not physically attracted to her - and less on her potential problem, that she may want more loving than you're willing to give.
I'd say that over the long run, a difference in sex drives can be pretty detrimental to a relationship. It's possible you will become more attracted to her if you fall for her a bit more, but not overly likely. If I were you I would move on. Find a girl you are attracted to, and hope she has half the sex drive of this woman.
Wow, are we still pulling out this tired stereotype?Originally Posted by Jake Plane
This thread was made for Bago!
Stereotypes often exist for a reason - there's a nugget of truth behind most. That said, that write up was clearly a joke. Apologies to all studs whose pectorals clenched up in indignation upon reading that.
that would definitely still be enough.
I've been there. About 10 years ago.
You need to find someone else. If you are not attracted to her. You will end up both resenting each other. You for being obligated to have sex more than you want. Her for not getting any when she wants it.
Fag.
____
Heh, that bit of info may have helped to explain your other two crazy threads.
Move on. Stay friends. Otherwise y'all are just gonna get frustrated.
No. My balls shrank. And I don't like that feeling.
LOL....Knew that would come.
I've been with women who wanted sex with me more than I did with them.
Sometimes it's like, OK, is it really me you want sex with, or would anyone do? It can almost feel impersonal.
Other times, fuck, as much as I'd like to think I'm an ever-ready stud, I'm basically not. It's nice to not have sex sometimes too, y'know?
Trust your instincts on this one. When one person wants sex alla time and the other one doesn't, it gets old. Same deal no matter what the genders are. Or, just agree to be occasional fuckbuddies but don't set yourself up to be The Guy to gratify all her desires. (If that arrangement can work for you both, that is.)
And Bill, you know what they say about guys who're always calling other guys fag this and fag that....
Yeah, those guys aren't fags. Huggy-wuggy I JUST WANNA BE LOOOOVED IS THAT SO WROOONG douchebags may as well be.
I gotta wonder what the fuck you were doing going out with her even twice if you didnt find her attactive?
I overheard some guys at a club a few months back. One guy was telling the others about some guy he took back to his place for a good romping:
"...and then afterwards, he wanted to cuddle! I said, 'Fuck you, fag!'"
She's not unattractive...just not exactly my type. And I really like her personality and sense of humor.
Um. You know, I was going to say something, and then I realized I'm way too young to have anything productive to contribute here, because my priorities are no doubt completely from those of just about everyone else here. So why, you might ask, am I posting?
So I can beat someone else to saying, "This thread is useless without pictures!"
Having different levels of sex drive is a bigger problem than attractiveness. If you can't satisfy her needs, then she's either going to sleep around or she's going to resent you. Either way, the relationship is doomed.
I don't really think there's much point being fuck-buddies with someone you aren't attracted to. Why would you have a purely physical relationship with someone you aren't that interested in? Just because nothing better has shown up? That isn't good for anyone.
Now, if you're willing to let her sleep around, then it would be worth sticking it out to see if you have the basis for a relationship aside from sex.
She's 100% into monogamy.
I'll probably give it awhile longer....its been 2.5 years so I have a lot of catching up to do! I agree with most of you though that say it's doomed.
And I quote:
I've known of one open relationship that worked, but yeah it's pretty rare for it to work for both people. Even better are polyamourous relationships--when those break up it's like the Fourth of July, or maybe D-Day.
Let's see some pics damnit.
I'm sorely tempted right now to start a poll on "Guess TheRock's Sexual Fetish!!!"
At least...
Ah, nevermind.
Says Mr. Romantic.
That was Boondock Saints.
Bah. And here I thought I had gained some profound knowledge.
Why don't you enjoy the ride while it lasts? Set a crystal wineglass nearby and see if you can break it, that kind of thing. Be creative!
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