WORST arcade games of all time?

[Anonymous]

Seems like a natural companion to a "best arcade game" thread.

Here are a few nominations:

TATTOO ASSASSINS
http://www.bunnyears.net/tattoo/

CHILLER
http://www.klov.com/C/Chiller.html

TIME TRAVELLER (aka HOLOGRAM)
http://www.klov.com/T/Time_Traveler.html

NAME THAT TUNE
http://www.klov.com/N/Name_That_Tune.html

NARC
http://www.klov.com/N/NARC.html

HANGMAN
http://www.klov.com/H/Hangman.html

MICHAEL JACKSON'S MOONWALKER
http://www.klov.com/M/Michael_Jackson's_Moonwalker.html

PROFESSOR PAC MAN
http://www.klov.com/P/Professor_Pac-Man.html

TRIVIAL PURSUIT
http://www.klov.com/T/Trivial_Pursuit.html

ROAD RUNNER
http://www.klov.com/R/Road_Runner.html

[voltaic]

No! Michael Jackson's Moonwalker was sweet.

[Anonymous]

The gameplay wasn't bad, but IT'S A GAME IN WHICH YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HELP MICHAEL JACKSON TOUCH CHILDREN!

[Ben Sones]

Lest we forget, the little-known variant of Q*Bert that featured the ability to fire wads of snot out of Q*Bert's nose. Called, appropriately, "Snots and Boogers."

Best game name ever.

[Kool Moe Dee]

I'm Sorry.

If you haven't played it, it's worth your effort.

BTW, Moonwalker wasn't a bad game if you pretend you're not Michael Jackson.

[Aszurom]

Anything in an arcade that spits out tickets that you can redeem for a keychain or pencil topper.

Actually, the winner is...

Boong-Ga Boong-Ga!!!!!!!!

http://www.monzy.com/intro/boong-ga/brochure.jpg

Now, the brochure is a bit misleading - since it says "spank" rather than the proper english translation which should read "cram a plastic finger up the ass of" the characters onscreen. The game even features a mannequin posterior hanging out the front.

Tell me, is this man spanking or fisting?

http://www.syberpunk.com/images/misc/boonga/boonga3.jpg

[Erik]

How did NARC get on the list?

[Sebmolo]

now, the important thing to remember about MW is that, a little way in, you run into the penis guys. remember them? Little bald men in two legged hopping machines with MASSIVE METAL RAMMING COCKS between their little hopping legs? All the little men try to ram michael (ie you, are you feeling dirty yet?) with their RAMMING COCKS and you have to zap them with your zapping dance step.

I'm going to take a quick shower and try to wash the memory away.

sml

[Dave Long]

How did NARC get on the list?

No kidding. NARC rocked.

--Dave

[Ben Sones]

I was almost as cool as Snots and Boogers.

But it's not as good as EverQuest.

[Robert Sharp]

Well, I had a sort of campy fun with it (I was only like 8 or 9), but Journey was a bad video game. The premise was ridiculous and the gameplay pretty sad. And I still played it!

[Anonymous]

"How did NARC get on the list?"

Something about games that promote indiscriminate, ultraviolent death to drug users while flashing "just say no" messages rubs me the wrong way, if not done as parody. I don't use drugs, but dislike propaganda.

[Samuel Bass]

Hey, dodgy subject matter or no, Narc was endless bloodsoaked, limb-scattering fun - shallow, yes, but stiill as good a time as you could get for a quarter in '88, at least at the tender age of 11. The ending, however, blew...

As for worst Arcade Game of all time, my vote would go to the winning combination of Time Killers and Bloodstorm, two fighters that made Tattoo Assassins look like a shining example of puglisitic art simulation in comparison.

[Erik]

Well, I've been known to use and sell drugs, and I still thought it was pretty rad. It came out at a time when every arcade game - and pretty much everything else - was stamped with the phrase "Just say no!" Plus, contrary to your claims, there was no indication that the prostitutes you were killing had any involvement in the drug trade. I'll concede that the bald perverts and the guys who threw giant syringes were probably selling drugs. Though the syringe guy was actually kind of giving them away. You might want to add Mortal Kombat to the list, because even though it wasn't explicitly stated in a splash screen, one of the clear subtexts of everything people say or do is "Please don't rip my spine out", which is pretty hypocritical in this case.

[GregB]

DJ Boy. Ug.

[Matthew Gallant]

DJ Boy. Ug.

They have one of those up and running at a permanent flea market sort of place near where I live. I spent a little bit of time watching the attract mode, it crossed the line of wacky fun to creepy melange pretty quickly.

They also had Final Fight there. But the jump button was broken.

[voltaic]

The problem with NARC is that there were about a thousand buttons plus an eight-way joystick to control the character. I mean there wasn't even a nice layout like on later 6-button games... NARC had a horrible interface!

[Dave Long]

Jeez... four buttons and an eight-way joystick /= horrible interface. Oh...but you were kidding, right?

--Dave

[Anonymous]

It's hard to control four buttons and a joystick when you're high on crack. So how is this game going to reach its intended audience?

[Anonymous]

Here's a secret some of you may know...Midway has been working on a 3D update of NARC for some time now. It is rumored to be for all three platforms. However, they also worked on a 3D update of Joust for two years and couldn't get it to fly (sorry for the pun).

[Ben Sones]

It's hard to control four buttons and a joystick when you're high on crack. So how is this game going to reach its intended audience?

Perhaps the intended audience does not include people that are high on crack.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps the intended audience does not include people that are high on crack.

Now who's being naive,Ben? :P

[Anonymous]

"Midway has been working on a 3D update of NARC for some time now."

I hope it takes place in Amsterdam, so you can kill all of the legal prostitutes and customers at the marajuana "coffee shops" while wearing a big leather American flag jacket.

[Anonymous]

What was wrong with Narc? I had it for my Amiga (still have it, actually) and thought it was a blast (in a stupid sort of way).

Peter

[Dave Long]

Thread revival!

I just ran across this link...

http://www.n-philes.com/php/epuzaevkfkezkkuakzev.php

NARC is a one-player action game and will be released in Q4

It looks like that NARC sequel is for real. Yahoo! Killing drug dealers, dogs and everyone else you can see in glorious 3D. :wink:

--Dave

[Lee Johnson]

Well, I had a sort of campy fun with it (I was only like 8 or 9), but Journey was a bad video game. The premise was ridiculous and the gameplay pretty sad. And I still played it!

Me, too. I think the Journey game was just a cheap way for them to recycle Tron machines. The basic structure of the game was even the same!

[Jason McMaster]

"Midway has been working on a 3D update of NARC for some time now."

I hope it takes place in Amsterdam, so you can kill all of the legal prostitutes and customers at the marajuana "coffee shops" while wearing a big leather American flag jacket.

Eating a fistful of freedom fries and vomitting glory on all those god damned hippies.

[Mike Cathcart]

I guess we're not considering Dragon's Lair an arcade game? Cause that was a piece of shit, pretty graphics or not.

Also, any game whose theme was covered by the Pixies rules.

[Tyjenks]

I guess we're not considering Dragon's Lair an arcade game? Cause that was a piece of shit, pretty graphics or not.

Also, any game whose theme was covered by the Pixies rules.

What is not fun about waiting for an arrow to show up and then pushing the joystick in that direction and the exact right moment?

Without Dragon's Lair, there would be no PaRappa and no Dance Dance Revolution. Now that I think about it, what a wonderful world that would be.

[Brian Rubin]

Worst arcade game I ever played was Sega's Time Traveler. After the "wowee" factor wore off (which took about ten seconds), what you had was a terrible, terrible game.