"Miley's 9-year-old sister launching a lingerie line for kids"

[Cold Blooded]

Source: MSN.com

Warning, story potentially N.S.F.F.I.H. (not safe for faith in humanity)

"Miley's 9-year-old sister launching a lingerie line for kids" (http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=585857&showcomments=true&rss=yes)


Seems like every time we hear about Noah Cyrus she's doing something totally innapropriate for her age.

Whether it's dressing like a dominatrix for Halloween, skipping around a pole-dancing pole or performing the totally un-PG hits 'Smack That' and 'Tik Tok', we suspect this nine-year-old could easily notch up more scandals than her big sis by the time she hits her teens.

The latest news that's got us scratching our heads and wondering, yet again, 'what were her parents thinking?' ...little Noah is set to become a lingerie model.

She'll be teaming up with her pint-sized best friend Emily Grace to launch a children's lingerie collection for 'Ohh! La, La! Couture'.

The company's website describes The Emily Grace Collection as having a “trendy, sweet, yet edgy feel, reminiscent of Emily’s true personality. She is collaborating with Ooh! La, La! Couture designers to create versatile styles that can be worn with sweet ballerina slippers, funky sneakers or paired with lace stockings and boots for more of a rock and roll look. Emily’s collection will appeal not just to little girls - the line also has an exclusive Teen Collection available to a size 14."























http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/img/blog/blog020210_noah.jpg

http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/img/blog/blog161009_noah.jpg

[Zylon]

Oh god it isn't human!

[WarrenM]

What the ... wow.

[Leah C]

I can't wait for the prosti-tots trend to die.

[WarrenM]

http://roleplayerslament.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/pedobear.jpg

[Angie Gallant]

They don't actually make lingerie. They make tutu dresses.

[Kalle]

9? Fucking 9 years old. If there was a contest in pushing the limit on what is technically not child abuse but still should get your kids taken away from you forever her parents ought to win a prize.

[Pogo]

9? Fucking 9 years old. If there was a contest in pushing the limit on what is technically not child abuse but still should get your kids taken away from you forever her parents ought to win a prize.

Agreed. Except throw in those pageants where mothers try to live out their own reckless dreams through their daughters while you're at it.

[Bahimiron]

They don't actually make lingerie. They make tutu dresses.

Yeah. It's clearly not what the word 'lingerie' tends to conjure in most people's minds. It's more like the stupid pseudo-punk shit that Avril Lavigne used to wear with her pre-stressed authentic punker jeans and skater shoes.

That said, those two photos of Noah in makeup are fucking terrifying. Did she apply it herself? She looks like she fell into a clown's purse.

[caesarbear]

Yuck, I feel like Steve Carell at the end of Little Miss Sunshine.

[Griddle]

Someone needs to slap this kid into reality, ugh. As a father of a 5 and 8 year old, this actually kind of pisses me off.

[Brian Seiler]

I am frightened. The girl looks like effing Jigsaw in one of those pictures. Who knew the genius behind Achy Breaky Heart could create such depravity?

[Robert Sharp]

Since you are a parent, I'm surprised you are blaming the kid.

[Brian Rubin]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[Midnight Son]

Even I find this "yucky."

[Shadarr]

I can't wait for the prosti-tots trend to die.

It won't die until it's gone all the way down to infant-wear. I'm thinking thong diapers and fishnet jumpers.

[Mightynute]

Dammit. There is no reason on this earth that I should even know the name of a 9-year-old unless they're a) related to me or b) amusingly stuck in a well or something on national TV. Go to school!

[Angie Gallant]

The Gap is selling boyfriend jeans for 3 month old girls.

[Brian Seiler]

boyfriend jeans

Do I want to know what the hell those two words mean in that order?

[Griddle]

Since you are a parent, I'm surprised you are blaming the kid.
Well, my kids have enough sense to look at that and see it's wrong, you have to give kids enough credit to know something's retarded. Yeah, the parents have fault, but kids aren't dumb either.

[Angie Gallant]

They look like the ratty old jeans you steal from your boyfriend. Your 3 month old boyfriend. (http://www.gap.com/browse/search.do?searchText=boyfriend+jeans&searchDivName=babyGap&submit.x=0&submit.y=0)

[Griddle]

They look like the ratty old jeans you steal from your boyfriend. Your 3 month old boyfriend.
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
http://wiimedia.ign.com/wii/image/article/868/868095/river-city-ransom-virtual-console-20080421071006767.jpg

[Zylon]

Who knew the genius behind Achy Breaky Heart could create such depravity?
Is this a trick question?

[Griddle]

Is this a trick question?

Ha, I was going to post a mullet picture, but I think you summed it up better.

[Robert Sharp]

Well, my kids have enough sense to look at that and see it's wrong, you have to give kids enough credit to know something's retarded. Yeah, the parents have fault, but kids aren't dumb either.

They aren't dumb, but they lack perspective. This is the Cyrus family. It's not a normal situation for a kid. Redneck and rich is a tough life ;)

[Leah C]

It won't die until it's gone all the way down to infant-wear. I'm thinking thong diapers and fishnet jumpers.

Hey, it's nearly there. This story was posted in a parenting/childcare forum that I go to and one of the parents was telling us about her sister-in-law's last shopping trip with her daughter...she bought her four year old leopard print leggings and a thong.

[Leah C]

They look like the ratty old jeans you steal from your boyfriend. Your 3 month old boyfriend. (http://www.gap.com/browse/search.do?searchText=boyfriend+jeans&searchDivName=babyGap&submit.x=0&submit.y=0)

They sell skinny jeans for babies and toddlers now too. Want to frustrate the hell out of your crawling/toddling kid? Put them in skinny jeans. Apparently clothing designers don't understand that being able to bend at the knee is kind of a necessary part of crawling.

[Brian Seiler]

They sell skinny jeans for babies and toddlers now too. Want to frustrate the hell out of your crawling/toddling kid? Put them in skinny jeans. Apparently clothing designers don't understand that being able to bend at the knee is kind of a necessary part of crawling.

It's like sock head kitty, but for people. Interesting. Sounds like a formula for creating a sociopath that murders long distance runners.

[Shadarr]

...she bought her four year old leopard print leggings and a thong.

That's just wrong. No way does a four-year-old have the ass to pull off a thong.

[Griddle]

They aren't dumb, but they lack perspective. This is the Cyrus family. It's not a normal situation for a kid. Redneck and rich is a tough life ;)

Well yeah, I can see where you're going with that.

[Ben Sones]

They look like the ratty old jeans you steal from your boyfriend. Your 3 month old boyfriend. (http://www.gap.com/browse/search.do?searchText=boyfriend+jeans&searchDivName=babyGap&submit.x=0&submit.y=0)

Sort of a safe-for-work version of chogglepants, then?

[Creole Ned]

"Safe-for-work version of chogglepants" is not a phrase I had expected to see one day.

And regarding the clothing for the wee ones depicted here: yeesh.

[Griddle]

"Safe-for-work version of chogglepants" is not a phrase I had expected to see one day.

Me neither, I can check that off my list of "WTF???!?" now.

[Jojo]

Wait, aren't all pre-potty trained kids pants technically chogglepants then? I shall go home and look at my kids' clothing in a new light.

[Griddle]

I find it amusing that on QT3 we are having a chogglepants theorization derail, I love you guys, you so craaaaaazy. ;)

[Leah C]

Wait, aren't all pre-potty trained kids pants technically chogglepants then? I shall go home and look at my kids' clothing in a new light.

I think they have the potential to be chogglepants but I was under the impression that one has not been choggled until the switching of the pants.

[Jojo]

Ahh, you're right Leah. I guess I had blocked out the exact details of chogglepants definition. Clearly a protective measure by my brain!

[DoomMunky]

Healthy immune system you got there, be a shame to mess it up. Back away from the thread. Slowly.

[Talisker]

It won't die until it's gone all the way down to infant-wear. I'm thinking thong diapers and fishnet jumpers.

You mean Huggies Thongs (http://www.dhadm.com/mediaHolder.php?id=292)?

[kerzain]

Wow, she is really ugly.

[Jason McCullough]

Jesus christ, what the hell? I saw this article on some site yesterday and assumed they were republishing Onion content.

[Nellie]

Wow, she is really ugly.

She's a 9 year old kid, if it doesn't belong to you of course it's ugly. It's all limbs and teeth out of proportion to everything else at that point, we should make kids pupate for at least some of the first 16-18 years and spare the rest of us the shock of having to encounter them. Not to mention helping their parents resist the temptation of putting make up on them or letting them launch 'Their own" range of lingerie.

[kerzain]

She's a 9 year old kid, if it doesn't belong to you of course it's ugly. It's all limbs and teeth out of proportion to everything else at that point, we should make kids pupate for at least some of the first 16-18 years and spare the rest of us the shock of having to encounter them. Not to mention helping their parents resist the temptation of putting make up on them or letting them launch 'Their own" range of lingerie.
Oh sorry, I didn't mean her physical beauty, I meant her soul.

[Pogo]

Ouch.

[WarrenM]

Of course, calling a 9 year old out for having an ugly soul means you automatically attain saint hood.

[Aleck]

I have nothing substantive to add, aside from "this is just fucking wrong."

[Nathan Phoenix]

Those pictures make me feel kinda sick to my stomach.

[The Bird Flu]

Do what now?

[Calistas]

...she bought her four year old leopard print leggings and a thong.

Aiming for early stardom on peopleofwalmart.com?

[Kolya]

http://img2.pict.com/d5/9d/a8/2756404/0/blog161009noah.jpg

[tiohn]

http://img2.pict.com/d5/9d/a8/2756404/0/blog161009noah.jpg

That just made my otherwise shitty day. Thank you.

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Just in case anyone isn't sickened enough: Preteen as sexy samba queen stirs Rio controversy (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20100205/ap_tr_ge/lt_travel_brief_brazil_carnival_preteen_queen;_ylt =AmwoJCYU2SEGkWX5gPmkHV6s0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFkMWtkbzA xBHBvcwMxNzYEc2VjA2FjY29yZGlvbl90cmF2ZWwEc2xrA3ByZ XRlZW5hc3NleA--)

[kerzain]

Billy Ray must be having kids in the middle east too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw0vDz7ULzQ).

[Rumpy]

Noah as a girl's name isn't something you see often. I've always associated it with boys.

[Mightynute]

Noah as a girl's name isn't something you see often. I've always associated it with boys.

Well, her sister's name isn't actually "Miley", either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miley_cyrus

Seriously, naming your child after any noun or verb should be pre-emptive child abuse.

[Tyjenks]

Has no one ever seen the whored up 5 year old's in the beauty pageants? Veneers on their teeth, hair extensions, gobs of make-up, tight dance outfits, winking toward the crowd during routines? It is disgusting and I think abusive to the children. Pretty sure they even have like 12-month old categories. Awful.

[Tyjenks]

Also, on a tangent, Miley Cyrus is going to be around a looooong time so you folks better get used to her and her clan.

[Shadarr]

This seems apropos. Pedobear shows up in a Polish newspaper story (http://www.buzzfeed.com/dinoi/the-new-vancouver-olympic-mascot-dj0/) about the Vancouver Olympic mascots.

http://s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com/static/enhanced/web04/2010/2/6/12/enhanced-buzz-18051-1265477476-38.jpg

[Brian Seiler]

This will appear in a threatdown.

Also, why is one of the bears a sasquatch (who is apparently street, or at least dope to the max)? And another the horrible, horrible result of Banjo and Kazooie going through a teleporter together? And another a character from the all-furry anime production of There's Something About Mary?

I will have nightmares about this.