I hate you all.

[Anonymous]

Just kidding.

http://www.tasteslikeburning.com/images/kittens/kitten-1.jpg

[Murph]

Cute kitten. :)

[Sparky]

Hmm...kitty porn. Looks like a juvie Scottish Fold to me.

[Brad Grenz]

Adorable. My cat's been keeping a low profile since he killed a neighbor's pet rabbit last week. Ate the head off, I'm told. The sad part is he didn't even bring the body to my door. He takes all his good kills, snakes, another, wild rabbit once, to another neighbor's house because the little boys who live there reward him with milk for that sort of thing. We've really been growing apart over the last year... He's never around anymore. And when he is, it's just to grab something to eat and off he goes, back out the door. Hell back in the spring he disappeared for like 6 weeks. I figured he was gone for good, until one day he came scratching at the door, thin as a rail and stinking like piss. I think it's only a matter of time before we decide to go our seperate ways.

[wumpus]

That cat has really creepy eyes.

Also, you ought to keep your cat indoor only. It is a matter of personal preference, of course, but they live longer, don't kill a bunch of small mammals, etc. Cats are actually very effective predators; I saw a documentary on Animal Planet where wild cats were wreaking havoc in the australian outback. Since they've killed all the small mammals, the abos actually catch and eat the cats. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

And that, kids, is why you should never eat at Outback Steakhouse.

[hido]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

...then...

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[Sparky]

That cat has really creepy eyes.

I agree -- it looks like one of those Keane "big-eyed waif" paintings from the 70's.

[Anonymous]

It's actually a Psi-Corps cat concentrating on disabling a Shadow vessel.

[Jessica]

OK, this was the funniest thing I've read all month.

You owe me for the cleaning costs of getting coffee off a keyboard and monitor.


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

...then...

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[Troy S Goodfellow]

Those cat and do diary bits are two of my favorites, but I haven't been able to track down an original author. Anyone have a clue? Google just feeds back dozens of reposts with no atttribution.

[Tyjenks]

That is pretty good. I normally do not eMail stupid jokes or stories ever, but that was worthy of a copy and paste. It reminds me of the baby in the "Family Guy" cartoon.


Also, you ought to keep your cat indoor only. It is a matter of personal preference, of course, but they live longer, don't kill a bunch of small mammals, etc

We kept ours inside so that she would live longer, but I wish she was about 5 pounds heavier and outside now. We have a miserable squirrel problem and all the cats in the neighborhood do not seem to be earning their keep. The rodent bastards get in my attic and scrape around and play Twister, I think. Last winter one was climbing up a tree outside my back window with some of my insulation in it's mouth. Presumably to line it's home so that it can breed more of the fluffy-tailed, beady-eyed rats.

I have never owned even a BB gun, but I am in the middle of my waiting period for my double barreled shotgun with special squirrel shot which will not leave even a whisker if I shoot within 5 feet of one. **Grins maniacally**

[Dave Long]

Oh man... we had squirrels getting in the roof of the apartment I used to live in. The landlord never did anything about it. We finally left when we heard them on the ceiling tiles. They're a bitch to get out of there once they get in.

--Dave

[Murph]

Aw...But squirrels are so cute!!

[Tyjenks]

Aw...But squirrels are so cute!!

Murph, I used to say the same thing and would swerve to avoid them on our neighborhhod streets. Now, there are often 2 or 3 in the driveway when I come home and I floor it hoping to catch one. I actually hit one on the road the other day. Usually, I shiver when I even pass near some poor roadkill, but I did not feel a bit of remorse that day.

I have tried everything from plugging holes to live traps and nothing rids me of my mortal foe. So I have come up with this:

I have thought of shooting just one in my yard. I would then sharpen a lonng stick on both ends. Stick my new double ended shaft into the ground. Then I will skewer the fresh kill at the top. My razor blade will then open him up from throat to crotch. As his entrails drip earthward I will douse him with gasoline and set him afire. As his friends and family gaze upon the sight of their brother in flames I will tear the T-shirt from my body and turn the razor to my bare chest. "Death to all Squirrels" will then be scrawled and oozing from fresh, shallow wounds in my flesh as the neighbors exclaim, "Hmmmm, Tyler is grilling chicken again!".


I may have a few issues that need to be resolved aside from the squirrel infestation, but first thing's first. :wink:

[Jason McCullough]

My cat!

http://www.hronk.com/images/sponge/100-0007_IMG_sm.jpg
http://www.hronk.com/images/sponge/100-0009_IMG_sm.jpg

[Mark Bussman]

OK, this was the funniest thing I've read all month.

You owe me for the cleaning costs of getting coffee off a keyboard and monitor.

I'd be in the same boat, but fortunately, I don't drink coffee.

:)

[graller]

My wife hates the noises they make in my attic...its either them or mice...the scamper of their little feet in the middle of the night is one of the concrete signs of the coming of fall...the other is the wife stating "go get the D-Con and put it in the attic....NOW!"

[Bub, Andrew]

Put the cat up there for a while.

[Tyjenks]

Put the cat up there for a while.

I have thought of that. My cat is below average in size and those squirrels travel in packs and I swear they . I think they would be like wolves bringing down and Elk. That cat has never hunted anything. Maybe a small bug or moth.

[Dirt]

It might be more effective to put the skewered carcass in their habitat as a warning.

Seriously though, I'm severely allergic to cats, but they have their uses. Terriers are well known for their ability to hunt vermin as well.

[Tyjenks]

To tell the truth, I love dogs, cats, and squirrels. They are all delicious in the Mongolian Beef and the local Chinese Buffet. I just wish they would denote which I was eating on the menu.

[Anonymous]

Put the cat up there for a while.

I have thought of that.

But seriously, don't do that. Your cat can get all sorts of nasty diseases from a squirrel bite.

[Tyjenks]

No worries. :)

[Anonymous]

"Your cat can get all sorts of nasty diseases from a squirrel bite."

That's why I decided to stop feuding with Chet.

[Met_K]

"Your cat can get all sorts of nasty diseases from a squirrel bite."

That's why I decided to stop feuding with Chet.

Rrreeorgh pft-pft!

[Brad Grenz]

No squirrels living here, but I do have mice in the ceiling and walls. They actually came out into my bedroom one night. I was sleeping and the sound of my cat tearing around the room woke me up. I thought he was just restless so I tried to let him out. But he wouldn't come to the door when I opened it. He jus sat in the same place, not moving. I went to pick him up and toss him out when I noticed the mouse he had corned. I picked it up, it bit me, and I dropped it. I checked to see if it had broken the skin before trying again. It hadn't, so I grabbed the bugger by the tail this time. I took it outside and let it go. I went to sleep again, but after 15 minutes the cat woke me up again. Same thing, another mouse. This one managed to get away, squeezing under the door outside before I could catch him. The mice haven't ever come out into the open again, though I can here them chewing on stuff in the walls some nights.

[Toddy]

I suppose I shouldn't tell all you cat lovers that I take my Siberian Husky out every night to roust the neighborhood felines. There's no better chew toy than the Siamese at the end of the block.

And whoever wrote that plainly doggist diary screed clearly hasn't spent any time with a Husky. Greatest. Dogs. Ever. A long, long way from dumb. Mine can open doors.

[graller]

I have a 6 month old Husky pup who is currently terrorizing my home. I agree that they are amazing dogs. You can just pass an hour watching her trying to find ways to get in trouble. My back yard looks like a mine field after a sweep by a UN bomb squad.

[Bub, Andrew]

"Your cat can get all sorts of nasty diseases from a squirrel bite."


True. But they're disposable, sort of like Kleenex.

[Kalle]

My uncle used to train all his dogs to hunt cats (not that they ever caught one). The dogs all loved it, and it was quite amusing to see them barking up trees. They were all very happy until the day when he moved in with a woman with two cats of her own. Then he realised that the dogs' cat-hunting habit could very well turn into a disastrous domestic problem. In the end the dogs and the cats learned to co-exist somewhat peacefully, but my uncle cursed at himself for making a harmless mistake that ended up threatening his relationship.

Moral of the story. Dogs should be trained to leave cats well enough alone.

[Anonymous]

Dogs... I can't understand the appeal unless you're actually using them to do work or hunt.

I don't need an animal with bad breath whose idea of affection is licking my face. Or smelling my cajones. No animal that can't be trained to shit in a container and cover it up is "domesticated" in my mind.

Hell, my cats go in the toilet, and a $20 electronic sensor flushes when they jump off. Let's see a dog do THAT.

If Brad would send his mice over, then I could stop feeding the cats, and they'd be totally maintenance-free.

[Ben Sones]

One of my cats, Ozymandias...

http://www.odditorium.net/Ozymandias.jpg

...came up with a clever way to get on the kitchen counters (there was a window there that he liked to sit in) when he was a kitten, and too small to make the jump. We had a bank of drawers that went all the way down to the floor, and he'd pull the bottom one way out, then climb on it and pull the next one halfway out, and so on, thus making a set of stairs for himself. He once removed his flea collar and hid it in the bottom of one of those drawers, underneath some towels. We didn't find it until we eventually moved.

Our other cat, Grendel, is extremely shy... except when it comes to letting you know what he thinks of you:

http://www.odditorium.net/GrendelTongue.jpg

Yes, he is sticking his tongue out at you.

[Tyjenks]

Damn Ben, the eyes on Ozy are freaky, yet cool in an eerie, Children of the Damned sort of way. I am assuming you did not doctor that shot.

[Nick Hyle]

My wolf hybrid (also named Grendel) is a great dog, and gets along fine with the cats. (He was hand raised in a cat containing household.) In fact I used to think he was a little wussy boy, until the night a drunk wandered into the house while I was up late watching bad movies.

Apparently when a large wolf mix appears in front of your drunk ass and makes a really low, rumbly growl (we're talking subwoofer here, no pun) about six inches in front of your nuts, you gain the ability to instantaneously evaporate, vampire-like, into the night. Or so I deduced from the evidence - I've certainly never seen a drunk move that fast in my life, he was there and then he was just gone.

Nick

[Tyjenks]

Hey Nick. I would love a hybrid and had thought about it often until I read about some behavioral problems found in some. I am sorry I cannot remember where and it could have been totally bogus. Also, I have never had the yard and/or land to keep one. I would assume he/she needs a lot of room to roam and even chew up a small animal now and again to satisfy any wildness left in him/her.

I am truly interested.

[DennyA]

While we're sharing cat pictures... Here's Bill, an organic device that was created in 1986 to convert lunchmeat turkey into mass quantities of cat hair:

http://dennya.home.mindspring.com/pro90/img_0133_std.jpg

[Ben Sones]

So where's Sparky? Isn't she supposed to be into the whole "sharing cat pictures" scene?... ;)

[Sparky]

Aw, lookit Grendel's tongue. Hmm, "Grendel's Tongue" would make a good band name.

Unfortunately, I am forbidden to discuss my own cats by the 1998 "Chicks On The Internet Never Shut Up About Their Allegedly Cute Cats And The Adorable Things They Do Irony Act."

[Anonymous]

Here is my kitten:

http://www.phillyburbs.com/couriertimes/dailyphotos/0611image.jpg

She freaks out some of my neighbors, but the upside is that there is twice as much to love.

[Murph]

Dogs... I can't understand the appeal unless you're actually using them to do work or hunt.

I don't need an animal with bad breath whose idea of affection is licking my face. Or smelling my cajones.

Aw, my dogs are great. And they're so smart. Or used to be, at least...

They've been spending the majority of their time outside lately, and we've all adjusted to that, so they're becoming more...primal, I guess.

They're still fun, though. I love my dogs.

[Met_K]

Dogs... I can't understand the appeal unless you're actually using them to do work or hunt.

I don't need an animal with bad breath whose idea of affection is licking my face. Or smelling my cajones. No animal that can't be trained to shit in a container and cover it up is "domesticated" in my mind.

Hell, my cats go in the toilet, and a $20 electronic sensor flushes when they jump off. Let's see a dog do THAT.

If Brad would send his mice over, then I could stop feeding the cats, and they'd be totally maintenance-free.

And you call owning dogs pointless? A maintenance-free pet who does absolutely nothing? Right.

[Brad Grenz]

Norman. Killer. Distant.

http://www.thewidgets.com/norman.jpg

[Met_K]

Uglycat. Ugly. Really ugly.
http://home1.gte.net/res0icp4/uglycat.jpg

http://home1.gte.net/res0icp4/uglycat2.jpg

[Anonymous]

Yawn.

[Met_K]

Yawn.

Yawn.

[Kalle]

The truth of it all is that cats are far more evolved than dogs. Cats have an inbuilt force feedback system for petting, let's see a dog match that.

[DennyA]

It's not true force feedback. More a noisy vibrating effect, like you'd get from a dual-shock controller.

QT3 Ratings Box
Cats
8.72

[Nick Hyle]

Hey Nick. I would love a hybrid and had thought about it often until I read about some behavioral problems found in some. I am sorry I cannot remember where and it could have been totally bogus. Also, I have never had the yard and/or land to keep one. I would assume he/she needs a lot of room to roam and even chew up a small animal now and again to satisfy any wildness left in him/her.

I am truly interested.

Tyjenks, I got Grendel after I moved to southern New Mexico, where I found a community of people I was already becoming friends with who had about a half dozen hybrids among them. (Grendel is the offspring of two of those wolfdogs.)

I'd read the horror stories too. As far as I can tell in reality, they're pretty much like dog horror stories. If you take a rottweiler, doberman, wolf hybrid, or pretty Lassie collie, and raise it (intentionally, idiotically, or just thru neglect) to be a nasty, neurotic, aggresive dog (or hybrid), then eventually they're going to be a problem. At that point their capabilities become a problem - I mean, what would you rather be attacked by, a toy podle or a rottweiler?

It's one of those nature v nurture things, and as far as I can tell after a lot of digging (Sarah's a research biologist, so we did some professional level digging) it's one where the nurture is a much bigger part of the equation. Dogs do have behavioral predilictions by breed, but their raising and training is a much bigger part of the end result.

That said, I would not recomend a wolf hybrid to everyone. But I would recommend them to anyone intellectually capable and tempermentally suited to caring for any large, energetic dog; who is also willing to do a little research legwork and digest it; and who is willing and able to provide a big active pup with the exercise and stimulation it craves.

This certainly does not require owning your own farm. If you have a regular house, with any real fenced yard (or one with an overhead run), then as long as you're also willing to play with and walk him(/her) for half an hour a day, you're fine. You CAN do it in an apartment without a yard of your own, but it requires a lot more work and effort and is a little harder to get right.

The biggest lifestyle changes involved in adding Grendel to our family were those about getting any dog. Even if you already have cats, it's different. You now have a pet you can't just leave for a long weekend with a big pile of food, unless you have a REALLY good fenced yard and a doggy door. Your travel/vacation plans now need to either include the dog, or a dog/house sitter or kenneling.

I can go into more specifics on behavior and owner responsibilities for hybrids, but I don't want to hijack the thread if it would bore people - you're a veteran here and I'm not, so reply here if you think it's OK or feel free to email me at

[email protected]

(after cleaning that) if you figure we'll annoy the community here by going on.

Bottom line - if you're willing to put in the work, and are the kind of person who should be allowed to have a dog (you know what I mean), and if you can get a well raised pup, there's no reason not to think about acquiring a hybrid.

(Second bottom line - if you do get one, take him to your vet as a pup, and paper him as a "whatever"/husky mix. There are lots of weird legal problems in may states with wolf hybrids, and you just don't want to go there. Then get him in a puppy manners class with a good trainer, and continue through at least one level of adult obedience - you and he will both benefit enormously.)

Nick

[Tyjenks]

Nick, Thanks for the reply and info. I will eMail you from home when I get there with a few more specific questions and after some local research on my part.

As for boring everyone here, there are an infinite number of much more inane threads than one about wolf hybrids as far as I'm concerned. :) After all, this thread is filled with cute kitty pictures for goodness sake.

[Nick Hyle]

I've got no beef there - hell, if my web-fu was stronger, I'd post a few. As it is, that would require me checking my "how to do HTML for idiots" link, and I just don't feel THAT strongly motivated to show off my four foots here.

:)

Nick