Son Selected for African-American Leadership Group in Middle School

[Bullhajj]

My wife called me this evening and told me our son came home from school with a letter saying he had been selected for the African American leadership group. I laughed. My wife laughed. I asked her if she could tell by reading the letter if they understood he's white. She said she didn't think so. She wondered if it was because she listed us as a multi-ethnic family, which I am not even sure what that means. My family is Arabic and hunky. Her folks are from Texas. We joke that the kids are Texa-hunkies.

I think it is my name, Elhajj.

I used to have this certain kind of experience in school. I went to the City University of New York in the early 90s. I also worked at the school's administrative offices. I remember Betty Shabazz taught at Medgar Evers College and was basically treated like royalty. My name tends to stand out, especially in an organization with a huge focus on multiculturalism, which was at its height in the early 90s. Occasionally I would come to a meeting with university people and I would find someone in a big dashiki and would introduce myself and their face would all fall with disappointment and they would be like, YOU'RE ELHAJJ?!

So it just made me laugh.

This is his first year at the school. I imagine they are not looking too closely at the people they select. But, who knows? Here in the Pacific Northwest every one is very PC and there are just are not that many black people.

I went to a school function a few years back and was looking for one of the fathers, but I didn't realize he was a black man. I kept asking the other parents (who I didn't know all that well) if they knew where I could find this man and nobody would tell me he was black, which would have greatly simplified spotting him. Instead people got all nervous and were like, Ohhh, he's about 6'4", ah... humm. Where I grew up people would not think twice about saying, "He's the tall black man."

[Marcus]

Well clearly he must attend this group in black face.

[Stepsongrapes]

My family is Arabic and hunky. Her folks are from Texas. We joke that the kids are Texa-hunkies.

I thought I always knew what "hunky" meant, but I don't think I'm aware of this use of it. Do you mean you're family is made up of nothing but studly male models?

[Bullhajj]

Yeah, when I was little I had a hard time wrapping my head around hunky because A) it wasn't on the map and B) it sounded too much like honkey

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunky_Culture

[Bullhajj]

and C) my family is made up of nothing but studly male m... ah, no.

[Rimbo]

That's awesome, Tim. :)

[Matthew Gallant]

http://www.truemeaningoflife.com/images/pryorchase.jpg
"Hunky hunky!"

[TheWombat]

When I was a freshman at the University of Georgia, years ago, I had apparently hand-written some documents where my name was scribbled to such an extent that someone read it as "Bobbie" rather than "Bob" or "Robert." So when I got my packet of stuff for student housing, I had been assigned to the main women's dorm (well, then we called it "girls' dorm"). My fantasies were brief, however, as my mother convinced me that really it was for the best if I simply called them up and let them in on their mistake, rather than showing up on move-in day.

[mystery]

My son, when he was in the 5th grade, filled out a questionnaire for the school that asked him to list his ethnicity. Well, of all the things he heard when we were working through my immediate family, it's that my great-grandfather was half-Cherokee. So, naturally, when he gets this questionnaire, he puts down "Native American" as his race. Anyone who knew this little pasty-faced Norwegian-Irish kid would have naturally corrected him on this, but somehow it still got submitted.

Cut to years later, and I still get emails and newsletters from the local tribal associations.

[Slainte Mhath]

Well clearly he must attend this group in black face.

Thread winner on the first response. Nicely done Marcus. <golf clap>

[HighPlainsDrifter]

My son, when he was in the 5th grade, filled out a questionnaire for the school that asked him to list his ethnicity. Well, of all the things he heard when we were working through my immediate family, it's that my great-grandfather was half-Cherokee. So, naturally, when he gets this questionnaire, he puts down "Native American" as his race. Anyone who knew this little pasty-faced Norwegian-Irish kid would have naturally corrected him on this, but somehow it still got submitted.

Cut to years later, and I still get emails and newsletters from the local tribal associations.

Wait, a questionnaire filled out by a 5th grader in school results in his name and address being handed out to various non-school organizations?

[mystery]

Wait, a questionnaire filled out by a 5th grader in school results in his name and address being handed out to various non-school organizations?

Oh, so many times, it does. In 8th grade, he accidentally checked a box saying he was interested in materials about college. While I applaud his enthusiasm, it was a series of rather silly conversations with college recruiters and the like on the phone for the next year or so.

[Brian Seiler]

My son, when he was in the 5th grade, filled out a questionnaire for the school that asked him to list his ethnicity. Well, of all the things he heard when we were working through my immediate family, it's that my great-grandfather was half-Cherokee. So, naturally, when he gets this questionnaire, he puts down "Native American" as his race. Anyone who knew this little pasty-faced Norwegian-Irish kid would have naturally corrected him on this, but somehow it still got submitted.

Cut to years later, and I still get emails and newsletters from the local tribal associations.

Actually, if his great grandfather had one parent in the Cherokee nation, that would make him 1/2 Cherokee, which makes your son's grandfather 1/4 Cherokee, which makes you 1/8 Cherokee, which makes your son 1/16 Cherokee, which passes blood quantum. You want to ride that horse as far as you can - you can get hella scholarships, grants, and all other manner of miscellaneous nonsense for meeting blood quantum for Native American ethnicity.

[mystery]

Actually, if his great grandfather had one parent in the Cherokee nation

No, my great-grandfather was half Cherokee. That would make him 1/32nd Cherokee, which doesn't qualify.

[Lunch of Kong]

He doesn't look like an Elhajj.

[Bullhajj]

He doesn't look like an Elhajj.

Yup, school needs to do a better job of racial profiling or something!

Okay, so here is the update.

My wife called the school and discussed it with my son, who did not want to go (Do I have to go the black leadership thing?). Also, it wasn't a group, but an event--black leaders from the community were coming to meet some of the boys.

The school said that everyone listed as multi-ethnic got the letter. My son didn't know what multi-ethnic meant and had assumed:

1) His skin wasn't white enough to make him white.
2) He was a bad student, so they were sending him to black leadership day.

I am amazed sometimes what goes through my kid's mind.

[Houngan]

Yup, school needs to do a better job of racial profiling or something!

Okay, so here is the update.

My wife called the school and discussed it with my son, who did not want to go (Do I have to go the black leadership thing?). Also, it wasn't a group, but an event--black leaders from the community were coming to meet some of the boys.

The school said that everyone listed as multi-ethnic got the letter. My son didn't know what multi-ethnic meant and had assumed:

1) His skin wasn't white enough to make him white.
2) He was a bad student, so they were sending him to black leadership day.

I am amazed sometimes what goes through my kid's mind.


Ahhahaahaaahaa fuck me. Damn this world is messed up. I mean, I want to cry tears of mirth at the ridiculousness of your situation, along with tears of shame for no reason I can identify. Good christ, can't we let Tim's kid just grow up?

H.

[Eduardo X]

Are you Elhajj Malik El-Shabazz? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_X)

[Marcus]

2) He was a bad student, so they were sending him to black leadership day.

Oh shit hahaha

[Bullhajj]

Are you Elhajj Malik El-Shabazz? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_X)

That's the name brother Malcom took after he went on the Hajj.

[Bullhajj]

Ahhahaahaaahaa fuck me. Damn this world is messed up. I mean, I want to cry tears of mirth at the ridiculousness of your situation, along with tears of shame for no reason I can identify. Good christ, can't we let Tim's kid just grow up?

H.

Yep, my feelings almost to a T. We're trying to find creative ways to motivate him in school. At times like this, I realize I really don't have a clue what to say to him. It may seem motivational to me, but to him--there is just no saying how he experiences it.

[Scrax]

If you don't get an A on your vocab test Junior, we are sending you to Motown.

[VegasRobb]

I agree with both of Marcus' posts. Tim, sounds like you've handled it really. It's very cool that your son is able to express himself to you and your wife

[Destarius]

My son didn't know what multi-ethnic meant and had assumed:

1) His skin wasn't white enough to make him white.
2) He was a bad student, so they were sending him to black leadership day.

Don't really get the second bit. Is being sent to black leadership day a punishment for being a bad student, or a coaching? Hahaha!

Real mindjob on your kid there, but I think you got it handled well.

[John Many Jars]

Tell him it's because he's got a big dick.

[kerzain]

Awwwwkward

[Bullhajj]

Tell him it's because he's got a big dick.

Ha, ha. We already had that conversation. Sorta.

“Right after I was born,” I said, “the doctors asked my mom if they could cut off the end of my penis.” My son’s eyes grew big as half dollars. “My mom told the doctors, ‘Sure! Go head.’ And then she handed me over to them.”

http://telhajj.com/2007/05/30/the-circumcision-decision/

[Bullhajj]

Don't really get the second bit.

He isn't doing too hot with his homeroom teacher, who gave him the letter. I think that's what he's thinking.

[Bullhajj]

I agree with both of Marcus' posts. Tim, sounds like you've handled it really. It's very cool that your son is able to express himself to you and your wife

Coming from you Rob, I take that as quite a compliment.

I think my wife deserves a lot of the credit. I seem to do much better with teens and early twenty somethings.

[Bullhajj]

Awwwwkward

As a parent, you have to be prepared to break some eggs.

[kerzain]

Your son better take advantage of this opportunity, there's money up for grabs (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/10/19/africa.prize/index.html)!