How to suck up a poop smoothie

[Tom Ohle]

So I have a garbage can about half-full of a liquid I do not wish to dump... it's gross, as it's dog poop mixed with ice (shoveled from our dog run over parts of the winter) that has melted into a sort of poop smoothie. Bah. Now it's going out for the garbage truck, and even though it's an automatic thing and won't land on anyone, I still want to figure out if I can just make it less liquid. Anything I can toss in there to absorb a lot of moisture?

[madkevin]

How did you not name this thread "Poop smoothie"?

[Tom Ohle]

How did you not name this thread "Poop smoothie"?

I didn't think of the poop smoothie until I was writing it. Happy now?

[Scrax]

Sawdust and/or kitty litter seems to work for vomit. This may be a similar circumstance....pine scented may be necessary.

Also, ew gross.

[Hunty]

Man, if ever there was a job for the baking soda thread...

Disclaimer: I have no idea if baking soda would actually work. I mean, it is magic, but I don't want any responsibility for exploding the poop smoothie and covering your house. That thing sounds lethal.

[Tim James]

Quietly crossing off Canada as a potential place to live in the future...

[Tom Ohle]

Quietly crossing off Canada as a potential place to live in the future...

Yeah, gross.

[FoRmaT]

http://www.filmski.net/slike/automatika/films/1188d.jpg

[Tom Ohle]

http://www.filmski.net/slike/automatika/films/1188d.jpg
My dogs are big. I'd need a lot.

I'd thought about kitty litter... hmm.

[TheTrunkDr]

Quietly crossing off Canada as a potential place to live in the future...
It'd Edmonton, would you really have wanted to anyway?

[Slainte Mhath]

If you cant get your hands on massive amounts of kitty litter or sawdust, you could use shreded newspaper instead. The results will be a garbage can pull of "pooper mache", but it's still better than the poop smoothie.

Also, gross. Why were you saving this up all winter instead of just quietly sneaking a plastic bag full of poopsicles into the garbage every week? That's what I do with my large dog.

[stusser]

Why complicate matters? Take it out to the curb and rinse it all into the storm drains with a hose.

[Tim James]

Why complicate matters? Take it out to the curb and rinse it all into the storm drains with a hose.First words of wisdom in this thread. That's what I do after I change the oil in my car.

Perhaps use a dead stray cat to really scrape everything out.

[zengonzo]

http://www.damprid.com/

[FoRmaT]

You could bake it into pies.

[zengonzo]

First words of wisdom in this thread. That's what I do after I change the oil in my car.

Perhaps use a dead stray cat to really scrape everything out.

Then, of course, you'll want to pour a big tub of chlorine over the whole mess to make sure it's really clean.

[robsam]

If you have enough land and don't have neighbors too close by, you might want to use the military latrine method and burn it with kerosene or gasoline. Think of the garbage men! Why should they pay for this?

[Tom Ohle]

If you cant get your hands on massive amounts of kitty litter or sawdust, you could use shreded newspaper instead. The results will be a garbage can pull of "pooper mache", but it's still better than the poop smoothie.

Also, gross. Why were you saving this up all winter instead of just quietly sneaking a plastic bag full of poopsicles into the garbage every week? That's what I do with my large dog.
Actually, this was only about 3 or 4 weeks of poop. It was -30 for some of that time and I was out of the country for the rest. I can't wait until it's all gone and cleaned and I can just clean up a couple turds every day. Damn these dogs crap a lot.

[Jon Rowe]

Sawdust, seriously. Just go to a pet store and buy some wood shavings for hamsters and dump her in there. People use it for no flush toilets all the time. It does a good job of covering the smell as well as keeping everything held up.

[FoRmaT]

I'm sure a carpenter will give you barrels of the stuff for free.

[Bahimiron]

Add four cups of flour, mix well and bake at 350 for 25 minutes.

[Griddle]

Place it on a large baking sheet, allow to freeze over night. Take it over your neighbors house after they leave for work. Slip the frozen poo fillet under their door, and giggle like a school girl. Hide in a nearby tree with a camcorder till they come back home. Tape the results, and upload it for us so that we may share in your victory over the poop smoothie.

[zengonzo]

Every night henceforth I shall give thanks I don't live next to Griddle.

[Killzig]

Bury it and try to forget it ever happened.

[Mean Dr. Lily]

It's just poop, right? Just dump it down a toilet.

[Enidigm]

Eh, throw the whole thing away, bucket and all?

[Tom Ohle]

Eh, throw the whole thing away, bucket and all?

Well, I braved the horror and looked inside (it's more of a "garbage can" than a "bucket") and it seems that the smoothie isn't quite as amalgamated as I had assumed... so the actual moisture is less of a concern now. I think I'll try sawdust to get what is there sucked up. Then it's on to the rest of the yard. Gross!

[Aeon221]

Try pooping into it! Perhaps your more solid poop will lower the average liquidity of the mixture!

[Tom Ohle]

Try pooping into it! Perhaps your more solid poop will lower the average liquidity of the mixture!

It probably would, given that the more solid crap has separated and moved to one side of the bucket. Like a sort of underwater mountain or volcano, emerging from the liquid below. One can only imagine how large this mound actually is... unfortunately for the world, only the peak shall be seen.

[Jason McCullough]

This thread is going to look great in my logs at work.

[UncleSmoothie]

I am really, really disturbed by this thread.

[Aeon221]

This thread is going to look great in my logs at work.

I've always believed that good reading improved a good log. Especially at work!

[Lurb]

Cement, nucular sticker, abandon anywhere.

[Slainte Mhath]

What kind of dogs are they out of curiosity? Mine is a lab, a big lab (80 lbs.), and sometimes we have to bag twice a week it gets so bad. I can't imagine the horror of collecting 3-4 weeks worth.

In medieval times we could have just sold the stuff to the local tannery.

[Tom Ohle]

Two 95-pound labs. Ugh.

[Juste]

This thread thankfully didn't deliever. I had all kinds of horrors running around in my head when i clicked the link to the thread.

[Slainte Mhath]

This thread thankfully didn't deliever. I had all kinds of horrors running around in my head when i clicked the link to the thread.

Two bitches, one can?

[Jon Rowe]

Use a twizzler straw, those are always good.

[John E. Motion]

This thread is useless without pictures.

[Jon Rowe]

http://www.stonebrakerart.com/images/yellowlabs/ShelbyYellowLab-ref.jpg

[Hanzii]

Why has nobody suggested taking off and nuking the can from orbit as being the only way to make sure yet?

[Aeon221]

Why has nobody suggested taking off and nuking the can from orbit as being the only way to make sure yet?

Possibly because it seems a poor idea to sprinkle property with a fine mist of feces?

[arctangent]

Put it on your grass for fertilizer. Hell, pour into your flower beds, add it to your compost pile. Go organic.

[Karen]

Right after I read this post I surfed over to metafilter where the first headline was:

"The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that a search of your trash doesn't violate your privacy. This decision is in line with that of the United States."

http://www.metafilter.com/80726/Offal-offlimits-Officially-no

[jpinard]

You have learned well young Jedi! I can now retire as pooop thread creator... but chances are I won't.

[theborbes]

Half of a garbage can... that is A LOT of poop and water.

[Sarkus]

With a straw?

(How did this get to page two without someone else throwing this out?)

[Funkula]

Because JonDanger didn't post until #38. (http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showpost.php?p=1695859&postcount=38)