I became an American citizen today

[Gary Whitta]

Applied last year after waiting the mandatory five year period since I got my green card. The whole process from beginning to end was remarkably speedy. Sent off some forms, showed up to have fingerprints taken, showed up again at a later date for my civics test (which a chimp could pass by the way - "how many stars are there on the flag?" - seriously?) then finally showed up at an auditorium in Oakland this morning to take the oath with 1282 other people from 91 different countries.

It was all quite moving in a West Wing kinda way. They showed a video about Ellis Island and it all seemed surprisingly unbureaucratic and celebratory. Impossible not to feel somewhat patriotic as people stood up as each of the 91 countries was called in turn (China and Mexico by far the largest represented nations) until everyone was standing and we all took the oath. And for the perfect ironic touch, the DVD showing the post-oath music video of "I'm Proud to be an American" stuttered and broke down halfway through. U-S-A! U-S-A!

Mostly I'm just happy I finally get to vote on American Idol now. I was really hoping my application would go through in time for this season, so it's worked out perfectly.

[Coca Cola Zero]

FUCKING YANKEE PIG DOG!

[TimElhajj]

Welcome aboard, Gary!

images deleted

[Scrax]

Wtf just happened?

[Aeon221]

American Apparel: Show us yer titties!

[alexlitel]

Õnnitlused! מזל טוב! Blahopřejeme! Поздравления!

[awdougherty]

Congrats, Gary, but usually people get off a sinking ship.

[Tom Chick]

What the hell, Tim? FYI, people should be able to browse this forum from work and with their families in the same room. Posting a picture that says NSFW and then following it up with pictures of naked chicks is pretty fucking inappropriate. Go do that stuff on some other forum.

-Tom

P.S. Congrats, Gary, but you missed out on one of the supercoolest things about being an American by about four months: kicking that idiot cowboy and his neocon Administration out of the White House. w00t!

[Jason McCullough]

And for the perfect ironic touch, the DVD showing the post-oath music video of "I'm Proud to be an American" stuttered and broke down halfway through.

If only the INS had taste in music.

[Gary Whitta]

P.S. Congrats, Gary, but you missed out on one of the supercoolest things about being an American by about four months: kicking that idiot cowboy and his neocon Administration out of the White House. w00t!
I know, that would have been awesome. But it was still very satisfying to see the Bush portrait up on the wall in the government office when I started the process and then Obama's when I went back to finish it :-)

[Gary Whitta]

If only the INS had taste in music.
Yes, personally I'd have gone with "America, Fuck Yeah!"

[UncleSmoothie]

Congrats, Gary. This is the greatest country in the world.


(I'm moving to London next month)

[Aeon221]

On March 4, 2009, Gary Whitta became a citizen of the United States, most likely so that he could steal all our hentai porn.

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/NAN5911.jpg

[Adree]

http://i41.tinypic.com/15xpnkn.jpg

[NoWayJose]

Well we're just about like England now, socialism- and taxes-wise, so you should feel right at home.

[SpoofyChop]

Awesome Gary!

I know you'll miss the Fox Hunting and expansive civil liberties of the UK but you'll get used to it here.

:P

[Bahimiron]

Were any other celebrities there?

http://mriess.acm.jhu.edu/johnny5gold3.jpg

[UncleSmoothie]

Who's becoming a citizen there, Johnny 5 or the guy in the unfortunate suit?

[bloo]

Congratulations!

Now give us your money so we can give it to AIG.

[Bahimiron]

Who's becoming a citizen there, Johnny 5 or the guy in the unfortunate suit?

Both!

[Kael]

Congrats Gary, welcome to America. We are glad to have you. How many stars are on the american flag anyway?

[Jojo]

Congrats! My 5 years is up but I haven't taken the plunge yet.

[Mordrak]

I'm sorry. I'm all out of consolation prizes.

[RyanMichael]

'grats Gary! Now you can enjoy all those things that make being American great - Tax evasion, corporate raiding, and shitting on the little guy.

[Scrax]

You're probably more educated on the US now than the average American! Which is so, so sad.

[Greedo]

No WhittaPic of you holding up the certificate??

Oh, and congrats!!

[Gary Whitta]

If you want to take a quickie test I'll give you the questions I was asked:

1) How many stars are on the US flag?
2) Who replaces the President if he dies?
3) How many senators are there in Congress?
4) For how long do we elect each senator?
5) What special group advises the President?
6) In what year was the Consitution written?

[Lunch of Kong]

Service guarantees citizenship! Would you like to know more? (http://www.goarmy.com)

[Pogo]

P.S. Congrats, Gary, but you missed out on one of the supercoolest things about being an American by about four months: kicking that idiot cowboy and his neocon Administration out of the White House. w00t!
I got my citizenship just in time to do just that. Felt great watching some administration I couldn't vote against the first 4 years get kicked the fuck out.


Applied last year after waiting the mandatory five year period since I got my green card. The whole process from beginning to end was remarkably speedy. Sent off some forms, showed up to have fingerprints taken, showed up again at a later date for my civics test (which a chimp could pass by the way - "how many stars are there on the flag?" - seriously?) then finally showed up at an auditorium in Oakland this morning to take the oath with 1282 other people from 91 different countries.
You got luckier than I did, I suppose. The whole process for me took two and a half years. I liked the part where after they fingerprint you they'll let you know what to do next between 30 and 120 days.


It was all quite moving in a West Wing kinda way. They showed a video about Ellis Island and it all seemed surprisingly unbureaucratic and celebratory. Impossible not to feel somewhat patriotic as people stood up as each of the 91 countries was called in turn (China and Mexico by far the largest represented nations) until everyone was standing and we all took the oath. And for the perfect ironic touch, the DVD showing the post-oath music video of "I'm Proud to be an American" stuttered and broke down halfway through. U-S-A! U-S-A!
My group was small enough to fit into Allentown's district court room... about 80 people total I think. The judge gave a pretty patriotic non-partisan speech about the importance of voting in the upcoming election (which was only months away at that point), and we all went up to shake his hand and get some memorabilia.

And congratulations.

[dwinn]

Grats. Of course now you're obligated to root for Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

[Leah C]

No WhittaPic of you holding up the certificate??

Oh, and congrats!!

Of course there is!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3091/3328569937_1d3fd559a0.jpg

[RyanMichael]

Clearly, he was far happier to get an iPhone.

[Gary Whitta]

Clearly, he was far happier to get an iPhone.
I had to stand in line much longer for that.

[robsam]

I'm the most cynical person I know in the real world, and I appreciate all of the snarky/tongue in cheek comments posted earlier in this thread, but I say congratulations, Mr. Whitta.

I can NOT believe they made you suffer through a single note of "Proud to be an American". I HATE that fucking song. I am proud to be an American, but that song is horrible.

[Rimbo]

Congratulations, Gary! Welcome to the club!

[Creole Ned]

If you want to take a quickie test I'll give you the questions I was asked:

1) How many stars are on the US flag?
2) Who replaces the President if he dies?
3) How many senators are there in Congress?
4) For how long do we elect each senator?
5) What special group advises the President?
6) In what year was the Consitution written?
I knew the answers to these. Clearly I am a closet American.

[Staff Sergeant]

I'm the most cynical person I know in the real world, and I appreciate all of the snarky/tongue in cheek comments posted earlier in this thread, but I say congratulations, Mr. Whitta.

I can NOT believe they made you suffer through a single note of "Proud to be an American". I HATE that fucking song. I am proud to be an American, but that song is horrible.

USER WAS PLACED ON A HOMELAND SECURITY WATCHLIST FOR THIS POST

[Creole Ned]

Whoops, forgot to offer congrats to Gary. Congrats!

[Staff Sergeant]

I probably wouldn't even pass the entrance quiz to get into Canada to be honest. All I remember from civics class is that it was really confusing and the teacher let us cheat (probably so she would look good, grades reflecting on the teacher and all that, plus who really needs to know how the government works, right?)

[Woolen Horde]

Were any other celebrities there?

http://mriess.acm.jhu.edu/johnny5gold3.jpg

The truly sad part is that dude used to bork Michelle Pfeiffer for years.

[Major Icehole]

Cool. Congrats. I hope it treats you well. Even with its warts it's still a great country.

[krise madsen]

Congrats Gary. You now have a fanny.

Respectfully

krise madsen

PS: Be glad you didn't apply for Danish citizenship. We recently got those tests too, and most questions are utterly retarded (lots of useless shit about the vikings). I doubt 25% of our citizens could actually pass that test.

[WarrenM]

Congrats Gary! I hope to be among your ranks sometime next year. I qualify to apply this summer and plan to do so!

[WarrenM]

If you want to take a quickie test I'll give you the questions I was asked:
A question : do they give you a booklet to study from for this test or are you expected to commit Wikipedia to memory before showing up? Seriously, I want to know if I should start reading every history book I can get my hands on NOW or is the process fairly painless?

[FoRmaT]

I once read or heard that US-citizens have to pay taxes to the US for their whole lifes, even if they aren't actually LIVING in the US anymore. Is that true?

[Not One Of Us]

http://mriess.acm.jhu.edu/johnny5gold3.jpg

The guy in the suit looks like a cross between Will Wright and Warren Zevon.

[LionelThompson]

Congratulations though I thought for sure you'd fail the super secret part two of the test when you said you never watched The Goonies.

[Jafisob]

Congratulations to you Gary!

[RickH]

I got my citizenship just in time to do just that. Felt great watching some administration I couldn't vote against the first 4 years get kicked the fuck out.

Hm. You do realize that Bush wasn't up for re-election?

On the other hand, that wasn't on the quiz Gary posted, so the orderly transfer of power may not be something we expect our new citizens to be aware of.

Anyway, congrats to Mr. Whitta.

[TheTrunkDr]

Congrats! Though you now get to pay taxes to the US government for the rest of your life, regardless of where you live!

When I had a green card I had no intention of ever becoming a citizen because of this ridiculous law.

[Rock8man]

Congrats Gary!

I also recently became a U.S. Citizen. I applied in 2003, and interviewed in 2004, and they finally finished my FBI background check last year, and I became a citizen last year. Sounds like it went much faster for you! :)

[Balasarius]

Congrats, Gary!

[Ben Sones]

Congrats, neo-Yankee! Does this mean that Whittalinks are now officially an American institution?

[Moggraider]

The guy in the suit looks like a cross between Will Wright and Warren Zevon.

You haven't seen the movie? It's a white guy faking an Indian accent.

[arctangent]

I once read or heard that US-citizens have to pay taxes to the US for their whole lifes, even if they aren't actually LIVING in the US anymore. Is that true?

Yup, US citizens have to file US tax returns no matter where they live.

[TheWombat]

Yup, US citizens have to file US tax returns no matter where they live.

File returns, yes; pay taxes, not necessarily. If you work overseas the whole tax year, that is, live abroad rather than take extensive trips from a US domicile, you usually don't pay anything. At least that was how it worked when I lived and worked in Germany in the late 1980s--no US taxes, same US salary. Sweeeeet.

[Jon Rowe]

If you want to take a quickie test I'll give you the questions I was asked:

1) How many stars are on the US flag?
2) Who replaces the President if he dies?
3) How many senators are there in Congress?
4) For how long do we elect each senator?
5) What special group advises the President?
6) In what year was the Consitution written?

Huh.... I don't know the last one. I could tell you the declaration of independence, but the writing of the constitution isn't as talked about as the declaration. Hrm...

[Case]

Uh-oh. That means Gary can now run for Governor of California. ;-)

Congratulations, and welcome to the best non-exclusive club around.

[playingwithknives]

I once read or heard that US-citizens have to pay taxes to the US for their whole lifes, even if they aren't actually LIVING in the US anymore. Is that true?

Not quite (http://www.ubs.com)

[Jim Preston]

Welcome aboard. Now that you're officially American, and can start speaking proper English, you are going to have trouble understanding what everyone is saying in Guy Ritchie films.

[Tim James]

Congratulations. If we can just get the RPS guys over here then I can go back to pretending no other countries exist in the world**. Hurray!

** Eastern Europe will continue to remain a nebulous plane of existence where old-school PC games come from.

[Xaroc]

Damn they will let anyone in won't they?

Congratulations Gary!

[Bahimiron]

Huh.... I don't know the last one. I could tell you the declaration of independence, but the writing of the constitution isn't as talked about as the declaration. Hrm...

1787 is a far less well-known musical than 1776. Instead of Data, they had to settle for the guy who played Neelix. It was just awful.

[Gary Whitta]

A question : do they give you a booklet to study from for this test or are you expected to commit Wikipedia to memory before showing up? Seriously, I want to know if I should start reading every history book I can get my hands on NOW or is the process fairly painless?
They actually give you all the questions and answers in advance. There's about 100 questions from which they will ask you a random ten (and you only need to get six right). So if you can commit 100 questions and answers to memory you're golden.

Actually that's not true any more. I was one of the last people to take the old test. They've since upgraded it to a *slightly* more difficult one. Again, all the possible questions and answers are provided well in advance. You can see the new test here:

http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/blinstst_new.htm

[Miramon]

5) What special group advises the President?

Um. The Illuminati? No, they control the President. The cabinet? No, they're not very special. Oh! I know! Nielsen!

And oh yeah, congratulations :)

[Ben Sones]

4) For how long do we elect each senator?

Until he or she is removed by scandal. Actually, I think there is some other rule that limits how long they can stay in office, but it rarely comes to that.

[WarrenM]

Gary

Awesome, thanks for the info! And congrats again! Must feel pretty damn good. :)

[Tim James]

A question : do they give you a booklet to study from for this test or are you expected to commit Wikipedia to memory before showing up? Seriously, I want to know if I should start reading every history book I can get my hands on NOW or is the process fairly painless?Have you seen the Simpsons episode where Apu tries to become an American citizen? I'd imagine it's kind of like that.

Just say slavery.

[Jon Rowe]

1787 is a far less well-known musical than 1776. Instead of Data, they had to settle for the guy who played Neelix. It was just awful.

Oh, I looked it up... seems like a weird question, because the constitution went through a ton of revisions and ratifications and didn't actually get finished till 1790.

[Alan Au]

My condol^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HCongratulations!

- Alan

[Leah C]

. They've since upgraded it to a *slightly* more difficult one.

I didn't find it more difficult. The questions are worded slightly differently and are a bit more trick question-y, but they also accept a wider range of answers so I think it balances out.

[CLWheeljack]

My grandfather (85+ years old) recently became a citizen, and they waived the test for him because he had a doctor's note saying that his memory wasn't good enough to remember the material on the exam.

They still made him promise he'd serve in the US army if the government asked him to though.

[metta]

http://www.gallowglass.ca/images/whitta1.jpg

Whatever next?

Congrats Gary! Hey, did you have to surrender your European passport? I mean, do the Yanks force you to only be an American citizen? Here in Canada, for example, they let you serve two crowns. I am a Canadian citizen and still keep my European passport updated. It's just such a useful thing to have in pocket.

[Gary Whitta]

I get to keep my British citizenship and passport so technically now I'm a dual national. I look forward to jetting around the globe with multiple passports like Jason Bourne.

EDIT: Wow, I haven't seen that pic of me and Harms in ages, that was a fun photoshoot. Ah, those were the days...

(BTW, the arrow is pointing to the wrong person)

[Slainte Mhath]

Awesome news, Congrats Gary!

As a newly minted American, your share of the bailouts comes to $163,849.28. Will you be paying by cash or would you like us to set up a monthly payment plan for you?

[metta]

I get to keep my British citizenship and passport so technically now I'm a dual national. I look forward to jetting around the globe with multiple passports like Jason Bourne.

EDIT: Wow, I haven't seen that pic of me and Harms in ages, that was a fun photoshoot. Ah, those were the days...

(BTW, the arrow is pointing to the wrong person)

-Awesome! I always heard that the U.S. made you renounce your previous citizenship when they took you in. Must be Zionist propaganda.

-Sula and I moved a few months back and that edition of PCG has been floating around my office ever since. I miss those days both for the state of PCG and the industry at large.

-Er... Oops. Here's one without any marks on it :)

clicky (http://www.gallowglass.ca/images/whitta2.jpg)

(P.S. I just noticed that Tomasz has gilded my username with a status marker which I shall wear like a medal. I am prepared and unashamed to admit that, yes, Super Mario Galaxy is a better game that Gears of War 2 :d)

[Rimbo]

I was wondering about that... I THOUGHT you were the guy on the left.

And I thought you couldn't technically do dual citizenship in the USA? Like, if you're ever caught using your British passport, you can have your American one taken away or something.

Edit: And someone point me to the thread where metta received his title.

[Tim James]

Wiki says no big deal on dual citizenship. The oath talks about giving up other allegiances but no enforcement. Only an issue for government/security/military stuff, but even that can be overlooked given the right circumstances. (Arnold is still Austrian, heh.)

Other countries may require you to renounce your other citizenship. Looks like the US mostly gets that part right.

[WarrenM]

Yeah, when I last looked it up, Canada doesn't require you to renounce so once you naturalize and become a US citizen you're actually dual.

[Jojo]

The USA used to be hardcore about no dual citizenship, but have relaxed recently. As far as the UK is concerned you're pretty much always a citizen unless you make a real effort to rescind it deliberately.

As for the test, when my SO did US citizenship recently, they gave him an audio CD with all the questions and answers on it, and so we listened to that on our morning commute each day for a few weeks in order to memorise them. I've forgotten it all now though.

[metta]

Edit: And someone point me to the thread where metta received his title.

Oh, I was crying in the Gears of War 2 (http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=42457&page=10&highlight=Gears+of+War+2) thread about how bloody awful the single-player is and when a few folks agreed but pointed me to the multi- I explained that I'd already traded-in the game for House of the Dead: Overkill and Super Mario Galaxy.

[ElGuapo]

Congratulations. Come visit your new capital sometime!

I always wonder why they don't make people relinquish their citizenship when they gain US citizenship. Are there countries where they DO make you give it up? I can't imagine they'd let someone have dual Iranian/US citizenship. Or dual North Korean/US citizenship. Does it depend on our relations with that country?

I mean, the shit is never going to hit the fan with the UK and the US. But what about other countries?

[Gary Whitta]

-Er... Oops. Here's one without any marks on it :)

Awesome, lemme know if you have any more! Haven't seen those in ages.

[Tim James]

Awesome, lemme know if you have any more! Haven't seen those in ages.You mean since last Saturday night, while wearing a wedding dress and eating ice cream.

[Robert Sharp]

Huh.... I don't know the last one. I could tell you the declaration of independence, but the writing of the constitution isn't as talked about as the declaration. Hrm...

Oddly enough, in a class I was teaching, I couldn't remember either. I thought it was either 1787 or 1789, but I couldn't remember which. Turns out it was both, in a way. It was written in 87 but ratified in 89. However, most Americans would not know either date. Still, they give you a study guide for that test, so you probably would have known it if you were applying for citizenship.

[Acoustic Rob]

Congrats, and welcome aboard!

[Dean]

Congrats Gary.

Now when you go abroad you are responsible for everything done wrong by our government and you must defend and explain it to people from every other country, or, like the rest of us, just say, "I didn't vote for him."

Unless it's Obama.

But you probably won't have that problem because of your accent.

[Skipper]

Big congrats Gary! I'm proud to call you a fellow American.

PS - You didn't mention chogglepants at any point in the process right? Just making sure that kind of thing doesn't get "imported," know-what-I-mean?

[Drastic]

Congratulations! Now that you are a real American (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGuhZvO1DKg), you can finally fight for the rights of every man.

[Thierry Nguyen]

Congrats Gary. It looks like the test was made easier; I swear when I looked at a sample tests for one of my uncles years and years ago, it asked specific things such as "when was the 18th amendment ratified?"

[Moggraider]

It does seem easier than even ten years ago, when my mom started looking into naturalization. She didn't get around to it til two years ago.


Congrats, Gary.