Hey preggers peeps: headphones for the babby?

[tiohn]

Since our pre-human now has ears, my wife and I are looking for some headphones suitable for soothing our fetus with the sweet, sweet sounds of Skinny Puppy and Merzbow. However, I'm loathe to buy some cans that will just assplode once they're stretched over my wife's stately protuberance since they're designed for heads, not bellies. Can anyone reccomend a pair that accomodates preggersness?

[AlanT]

Wow, the baby industry is going to love you when you pop that sprog.

No advice on the headphones, we thought the prenatal music stuff was a bit silly, but that didn't stop us reading Curious George to the belly. He didn't seem to care one way or the other, tbh.

[tiohn]

What I mean is that we're looking for a pair of (inexpensive) headphones that can accommodate a belly. The ones I've looked at have all had a rather flimsy plastic headband.

Otherwise, we're not really into baby-gadgets.

[Malcolm Tucker]

I think exposing a fetus to Merzbow may result in a dangerously insane infant.

[barstein]

I suspect you won't find a pair that was actually designed for the belly (or at least, not a cheap pair anyway), but a simple mod shouldn't be too hard. Detach the cans, affix them to a strap and tie that around her midsection.

[Moggraider]

From what I heard in my Cognitive Development class (which really only went up to like 2 years of age), this fetal music stuff is bunk. It probably sounds like crap in the womb, anyway.

[Leah C]

From what I heard in my Cognitive Development class (which really only went up to like 2 years of age), this fetal music stuff is bunk. It probably sounds like crap in the womb, anyway.

Yep, that.

Also, it disrupts baby's sleep cycle.

[Wholly Schmidt]

It probably sounds like crap in the womb, anyway.
Well sure, if you stick to external speakers.

[Sol Invictus]

You're gonna make that baby cranky by blasting boomy sounding music (how do you think music sounds in the womb?) all day. That's not so good for its development. Noise pollution isn't very good for its hearing, either.

[tiohn]

Hmm. I'll have to look into this 'no music for the baby' stuff.

[Jamie Madigan]

The effects of music and reading on unborn children are zilch, according to the research I've read. The best thing mom can do for the kid at this point is to eat healthy, take prenatal vitamins, and get plenty of rest. Dad can facilitate the above.

[DennyA]

The effects of music and reading on unborn children are zilch, according to the research I've read.
Screw research, I have anecdotal evidence!

From the sappy overdetailed birth story I wrote a couple days after my kid was born:
Carter was stirring and crying.. So I leaned over him and started reciting Goodnight Moon, a story I’d been reading to him in the womb for months. He almost immediately stopped crying, and started blinking his eyes like he was looking around. I was pretty jazzed, but realized it could be coincidental.

...

When I arrived the next morning, Carter was a little agitated. So I took him from Dawn's arms to try to settle him down. For the first 20 seconds or so, no luck. So I decide to try "Goodnight Moon." As soon as I got to "red balloon," he stopped crying instantly, popped his eyes as wide open as I'd ever seen them, and stared right at me. He continued doing so throughout the entire story. After I wrapped the story and started just talking to him, his eyes went back to baby-squinty... He was calm, but I was now not as interesting as when I was reciting Goodnight Moon.

So he obviously recognized the cadence of the story, and was soothed by it.

And you know what? For the first six months or so of his life, I could calm him down by telling that story.

I read the damn thing to him every night during the last couple of months before he was born. I grew to despise that story before his birth. But afterwards? He obviously recognized the cadence of my delivery. It wasn't just my voice calming him down -- I had to be reciting that story -- and it didn't work when someone else read Goodnight Moon.

Whatever the researchers think, repetitive prenatal reading damn well helped me and my kid bond.

[Sol Invictus]

I'm going to make my baby (when I have one) listen to Mozart because pseudoscientists and people who promote 'laughter therapy' classes and sell their books on Oprah say it'll make my baby a genius!

[Rward]

Jimi Hendrix all the way!

[Brendan]

I turn on the rock 'n roll oldies audio channel on our satelite TV and my boy chills out nicely.

Apparently you don't need to be smart to be a rock 'n roll star so I'm banking on that.

[Supertanker]

People used to hassle me in CS because I would use the M249, and fire long bursts. What they didn't understand was that with the subwoofer on, the thumping of a long blast soothed our first two kids like nothing else. Generally they spent 2-4 hours crying and screaming before falling asleep each night, but if I had them in a chest carrier while playing online, machinegun fire would cut that down to 30-60 minutes.

[Funkula]

People used to hassle me in CS because I would use the M249, and fire long bursts. What they didn't understand was that with the subwoofer on, the thumping of a long blast soothed our first two kids like nothing else. Generally they spent 2-4 hours crying and screaming before falling asleep each night, but if I had them in a chest carrier while playing online, machinegun fire would cut that down to 30-60 minutes.

Be sure and offer that as advice to non-gamer expectant parents. The reactions you get will be fucking gold.

[Moggraider]

Screw research, I have anecdotal evidence!

From the sappy overdetailed birth story I wrote a couple days after my kid was born:


And you know what? For the first six months or so of his life, I could calm him down by telling that story.

I read the damn thing to him every night during the last couple of months before he was born. I grew to despise that story before his birth. But afterwards? He obviously recognized the cadence of my delivery. It wasn't just my voice calming him down -- I had to be reciting that story -- and it didn't work when someone else read Goodnight Moon.

Whatever the researchers think, repetitive prenatal reading damn well helped me and my kid bond.

No, talking to the kid is just fine. The baby can learn your wife's, your, and others' voices. But loud music applied directly to the belly is not a voice.

[Ryan A]

I'm going to make my baby (when I have one) listen to Mozart because pseudoscientists and people who promote 'laughter therapy' classes and sell their books on Oprah say it'll make my baby a genius!

That won't be an issue because you're too obnoxious to have to ever worry about having the chance to procreate.

[mystery]

No, talking to the kid is just fine. The baby can learn your wife's, your, and others' voices. But loud music applied directly to the belly is not a voice.

This. As a father, you must speak to your baby in the womb, unless you enjoy a few months of your baby treating you like just another guy who holds her a lot and smiles like a goofball.

I'm on my 4th child, and I've tried with and without -- the fact that my 3 month old daughter prefers me to anyone else besides her mother is something I cherish.

The timber of your voice is important, not getting actual words to her in the womb. If you sit there with your head on your wife's belly and just hum, the baby will get familiar with you.

[Griddle]

This. As a father, you must speak to your baby in the womb, unless you enjoy a few months of your baby treating you like just another guy who holds her a lot and smiles like a goofball.

I'm on my 4th child, and I've tried with and without -- the fact that my 3 month old daughter prefers me to anyone else besides her mother is something I cherish.

The timber of your voice is important, not getting actual words to her in the womb. If you sit there with your head on your wife's belly and just hum, the baby will get familiar with you.

This is sound(omfg) advice. I talked to my daughters while my wife was pregnant every single day, and when our first was born, I said hi to her. She immediately looked right at me and her eyes got wide as saucers. It was hands down the most ethereal experience I have ever had in my entire life. So yeah, talk to your kid. :)

[moohcowh]

In the last month or so of my wifes pregnancy, we used to play the wind-up lullaby toy music we were going to use at bedtime to help the baby sleep, what a waste of time, didn't make the blindest bit of different.

Unborn babies might react to music in the womb by kicking, but I'm pretty sure they don't remember it based on how different music will sound outside of the womb.

[Angie Gallant]

My ob-gyn is against fetal headphones. She says it's too easy for people to leave the volume too high and it disturbs the little one. She recommends listening to music from regular speakers at a volume where you can still have a conversation with another person without raising your voice. Anecdotal evidence in the form of Rosabelle kicking my uterus like whoa suggests that yes, she can hear music at that volume. Especially the Katamari Damacy soundtrack.

[tiohn]

Ok, headphones are officially out. Thanks, groupthink!

Instead, I'm going to start reading aloud from Finnegan's Wake. That or something by Georges Bataille.

[Ryan A]

All of my children would jump and kick inside the womb anytime we had a Seahawks game on. Whether it was from the sound of an NFL broadcast in all of its surround sound glory, or from all of my shouting and carrying on, I'm not sure. I do know that each of our kids learned to say "Go Seahawks!" not too much longer after uttering their very first words.

[Ed Solomon]

Ok, headphones are officially out. Thanks, groupthink!

Instead, I'm going to start reading aloud from Finnegan's Wake. That or something by Georges Bataille.

Read Winnie the Pooh to your unborn child, you English major bastard. Winnie the fucking Pooh!

[Brendan]

Read Winnie the Pooh to your unborn child, you English major bastard. Winnie the fucking Pooh!

I think a reasonable compromise is something by Lewis Carroll.

I've personally been reading Gone Fishing by Negley Farson.

[Kaylin]

People used to hassle me in CS because I would use the M249, and fire long bursts. What they didn't understand was that with the subwoofer on, the thumping of a long blast soothed our first two kids like nothing else. Generally they spent 2-4 hours crying and screaming before falling asleep each night, but if I had them in a chest carrier while playing online, machinegun fire would cut that down to 30-60 minutes.

Am simply amazed I just read this. I've been playing Stalker Clear Sky with our newborn in a moses basket near the rear speakers. I noticed the gunfire seemed to quieten him down when started crying ( Perhaps out of instinctual fear ?! Hope not ) At any rate, it got to a point that I started to truly panic if low on ammo and was unable to maintain steady bursts of MP5 fire.

Sincerly hope I'm not nurturing a psycho with this technique.

[mystery]

Sincerly hope I'm not nurturing a psycho with this technique.

Nah, babies are born with a natural sense of rhythm and will react well to anything that reminds them of it.

My daughter loves it when her brother is holding her and I'm playing the drums in Rock Band. At first, she stares at the screen, but halfway through the first song, she's dozing in his arms -- and I could be pounding away.

I've also been able to calm her down using staccato music and the windows media player visualizer stuck on full screen. I'll sit her in my lap, and turn on something like R.E.M., Live, or the new Kings of Leon album, and she just stares at the screen until finally falling asleep. Not a peep out of her the whole time.

[Aeon221]

Nah, babies are born with a natural sense of rhythm and will react well to anything that reminds them of it.

My daughter loves it when her brother is holding her and I'm playing the drums in Rock Band. At first, she stares at the screen, but halfway through the first song, she's dozing in his arms -- and I could be pounding away.

I've also been able to calm her down using staccato music and the windows media player visualizer stuck on full screen. I'll sit her in my lap, and turn on something like R.E.M., Live, or the new Kings of Leon album, and she just stares at the screen until finally falling asleep. Not a peep out of her the whole time.

I was gonna make a joke about your musical taste, but I'm more interested in finding out how children respond to Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden and, most importantly whether or not they have a fever that can only be cured by more cowbell. Is the love of all things awesome innate or is it an acquired taste?

I'd test on my babby, but I don't have one! Others will have to move forward this research in the name of SCIENCE.

[Griddle]

I was gonna make a joke about your musical taste, but I'm more interested in finding out how children respond to Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden and, most importantly whether or not they have a fever that can only be cured by more cowbell. Is the love of all things awesome innate or is it an acquired taste?

I'd test on my babby, but I don't have one! Others will have to move forward this research in the name of SCIENCE.
For what it's worth, my kids grew up pn Ska, Punk, and Metal. Sure they love their kids music, but put on some Ska, and they dance their faces off. My wife will put on Hanna Montana, and they will dance with about half the enthusiasm, it cracks me the hell up personally. Just imagine a 3 and 6 year old going bonkers over The Specials, or the Pie Tasters, quite the mind blower. Also, the 6 year old loves Sabbath, she asks me to put on iron Man and Electric Funeral at least 3 times a week.

[mystery]

I was gonna make a joke about your musical taste, but I'm more interested in finding out how children respond to Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden and, most importantly whether or not they have a fever that can only be cured by more cowbell. Is the love of all things awesome innate or is it an acquired taste?

I'd test on my babby, but I don't have one! Others will have to move forward this research in the name of SCIENCE.

As far as I can tell, my babies don't really care what's coming out of the speakers, they just react well when the music is heavy snare with a staccato rhythm. Iron Maiden does better than Sabbath in that respect, but neither of them do as well as, say, early U2. I can put on Sunday, Bloody Sunday and be relatively assured of a quiet 3 minutes.

[mystery]

For what it's worth, my kids grew up pn Ska, Punk, and Metal. Sure they love their kids music, but put on some Ska, and they dance their faces off. My wife will put on Hanna Montana, and they will dance with about half the enthusiasm, it cracks me the hell up personally. Just imagine a 3 and 6 year old going bonkers over The Specials, or the Pie Tasters, quite the mind blower. Also, the 6 year old loves Sabbath, she asks me to put on iron Man and Electric Funeral at least 3 times a week.

Yea, kids will dance to just about anything with a good beat, particularly if their parents appreciate it.

When I introduced my boys to the Clash for the first time, they really got into it. Now, my 12 year old sings along with all the songs when they come on the radio. I'm proud to say that he knows most of the lyrics to the songs on the Classic Rewind and Buzzsaw channels on Sirius radio.

[Aeon221]

Holy crap that is awesome. The fact that children will go nuts for a good bass line or some hearty slamming is enough to make me want a few!

[Mike O'Malley]

I can vouch for the fact that my son loves Iron Maiden, Tool, and Kamelot.

It makes driving so much more tolerable than having to listen to kids' music.

[fire]

Since our pre-human now has ears, my wife and I are looking for some headphones suitable for soothing our fetus with the sweet, sweet sounds of Skinny Puppy and Merzbow. However, I'm loathe to buy some cans that will just assplode once they're stretched over my wife's stately protuberance since they're designed for heads, not bellies. Can anyone reccomend a pair that accomodates preggersness?

Awww, that's so cute! I used to fall asleep to Skinny Puppy blaring on the speakers.

Why headphones? Do you not want to hear it too?

[tiohn]

Headphones have been ruled out at this point. And my wife would never sit through even a single Skinny Puppy song. That's reserved for next summer, when I get to be the stay-at-home dad.

[DennyA]

Holy crap that is awesome. The fact that children will go nuts for a good bass line or some hearty slamming is enough to make me want a few!
Six months before my kid could talk, he could belt out the first five notes of Iron Man. <squeaky baby voice>Bum bum BUM BUM BUM...</sbv>

[fire]

I think a reasonable compromise is something by Lewis Carroll.

I've personally been reading Gone Fishing by Negley Farson.

War and Peace.

[tiohn]

Read Winnie the Pooh to your unborn child, you English major bastard. Winnie the fucking Pooh!

HEY! Who are you calling an English major? That's just mean.

[Ed Solomon]

HEY! Who are you calling an English major? That's just mean.

I'm a hard man, Sean.

[tiohn]

Sean.

You, sir, have gone too far.