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Cold Blooded
08-06-2008, 10:20 AM
Source: The Sun UK (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage)

Fiend had 'sex with 400 cows' (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1517629.ece)


A TWISTED oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows.

The 53-year-old cleaner told police he did not fancy women and only cows and horses got him randy.

Getulino Ferreira Paraizo said he chose the more tranquil animals before engaging in sex acts with them.

But police say it is even more bizarre.

They accuse him of torturing the animals, sometimes ripping out their eyes before having sex with them and then killing them.

Among the clues he left behind at every scene were empty packages of the same cookies.

Police found another packet on him when they arrested him.

Paraizo, of Aragoiania, in central Brazil, told reporters he can’t have sex with women since sexual abuse as a teenager.

“I tried once but couldn’t do it. I only feel like it if it’s a cow or a horse.”

He added: “I need to stop doing this rubbish. I want treatment.”

Police chief Alvaro Cassio dos Santos said: “We estimate he killed around four hundred cows in the last four years.

“At first we thought it was part of some black magic ritual as neither the meat nor the skin were taken away.”

Paraizo could get up to five years in jail for material damages against local farmers.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00547/cow_682_547367a.jpg

Midnight Son
08-06-2008, 10:24 AM
Looking at the picture, I can see why! Moooo, baby!

Tankero
08-06-2008, 10:26 AM
You do realize he routinely killed the animals by ripping out their eyes, right?

Pogo
08-06-2008, 10:27 AM
This reminds me of the cop conversation in Superbad about looking for semen.

Midnight Son
08-06-2008, 10:28 AM
You do realize he routinely killed the animals by ripping out their eyes, right?

I try not to judge.


Ok, that's pretty fucked up.

fire
08-06-2008, 10:51 AM
Only 5 years for that?

playingwithknives
08-06-2008, 11:18 AM
I try not to judge.


Ok, that's pretty fucked up.

It's probably just as well he didn't like women.

Enduro_Man
08-06-2008, 11:22 AM
http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/774/bartbq3.jpg

Bullhajj
08-06-2008, 11:35 AM
Only 5 years for that?

Dig it.

You figure the average cost of a cow is going to be somewhere anywhere between $800 to $2000 (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_does_a_cow_cost). So 400 dead cows might cost anywhere from 320 to 800k. He got off cheap. Maybe they are anti-cow in Brazil.

Jon Rowe
08-06-2008, 11:46 AM
Dude... I can understand an animal fetish (not really) but killing and torturing an animal, then sex... just weird.

Adam Altmann
08-06-2008, 11:53 AM
Dude... I can understand an animal fetish (not really) but killing and torturing an animal, then sex... just weird.

Yeah, that's just over the line.

Hanzii
08-06-2008, 12:12 PM
" Fiend had 'sex with 400 cows' "



...fiend? Oh!

Robert Sharp
08-06-2008, 12:51 PM
I read it as friend at first too. I'm not sure why. I thought this was going to be another advice thread.

Cold Blooded: So...my friend tells me he's (or she's) had sex with 400 cows. What should I do?

Flowers: Buy your friend a hot tub.

Bill: Shut the fuck up, Flowers!

random cynical poster: I'm sick of these threads.

Bullhajj
08-06-2008, 12:58 PM
Friend of Robert Sharp: Hey, Rob! What's up with you this weekend?

Robert Sharp: Dude, I am going to have sex with 400 cows!

Friend of Robert Sharp: What! My word! You fiend!

Robert Sharp: Did you just call me a friend?

Friend of Robert Sharp: Huh? No way. I called you fiend. You're, you're, you're... A cow sex fiend!

Robert Sharp: Ah, I must have misheard. But wouldn't it have been funnier if you had called me a friend who had sex with over 400 cows? That would just crack me up.

Friend of Robert Sharp: No, it would not be funnier if I had called you a friend who had sex with over 400 cows. Having sex with cows is sad, sad, sad. I don't mean to judge, bu you, sir, are a cad!

Bill D: Dude.

Flowers: Word.

Friend of Robert Sharp: Fiend!

Unicorn McGriddle
08-06-2008, 01:02 PM
Remember it's The Sun.

Edit: SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER

Tom Ohle
08-06-2008, 01:07 PM
I'm having steak tonight.

Robert Sharp
08-06-2008, 01:17 PM
Remember it's The Sun.

Edit: SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER

What's funny about the is that the word for friend and and fiend sound almost exactly the same in Elvish!

Hint: The word is 'bulhajj'

Jon Rowe
08-06-2008, 01:36 PM
Bulhajj backwards is JJahlub.

Rimbo
08-06-2008, 02:05 PM
"Prahs trebor!" It's Klingon for "Sleeps Poorly."

TomChick
08-06-2008, 03:15 PM
"He wants to go down there and have sex with those cows."

-Tom

Rimbo
08-06-2008, 03:31 PM
"Bear fucker! Do you require assistance?"

hong
08-06-2008, 05:23 PM
You do realize he routinely killed the animals by ripping out their eyes, right?
Peter Shaffer, eat your heart out.

magnet
08-06-2008, 05:47 PM
You do realize he routinely killed the animals by ripping out their eyes, right?

Traumatic enucleation is generally not a fatal injury.

Although I don't doubt that he found some other way to slaughter the cows. Oh wait, it's the Sun, so I guess I do doubt it.

Bill Dungsroman
08-06-2008, 07:22 PM
Aw man, what kind of cookies?

EvilIdler
08-07-2008, 05:40 AM
I'm having steak tonight.

Check what country the meat is from first!

tiohn
08-07-2008, 07:35 AM
Check what country the meat is from first!

I understand that a lot of beef coming out of Brazil lately is extra tender.

Rward
08-07-2008, 07:43 AM
Check what country the meat is from first!

and hold on the "sauce"...