Die, you pig children!

[Malathor]

http://www.abc.net.au/science/planetslayer/greenhouse_calc.htm

I deserved to die in 1972. I guess there's no justice in the world.

[Aeon221]

I should have died at age 14, apparently. 1999. If it hadn't been for Arnold stopping the Antichrist, I would have too!

[Ben Sones]

According to that calculator, paying rent and/or mortgage is dire for the environment. I was doing okay until I had to enter in how much money we spend. The majority of it is on our mortgage and bills, which for some reason the poll thinks is bad for the environment. I'm hard pressed to figure out why paying for monthly rent or a mortgage is orders of magnitude worse for the environment than the difference between walking and driving a gas guzzler, but according to that poll, it is. If I didn't have bills or the mortgage (but still count money spent on other stuff), the calculator says that I can live to be 25.3. Now, that in itself seems suspect, because I suspect that we're greener than most, unless you want to count tribal peoples living in huts. We don't drive a gas guzzler, and we don't drive a lot in any event (my wife works 2 miles from home and bikes during good weather, and I work at home). Our power is all hydro, we rarely fly, we have a small to medium sized house (though it is just the two of us), and we recycle. So I guess the calculator is saying that it does count tribal peoples living in huts, and that maybe we should consider trying that.

Anyway, add our mortgage and monthly bills into the equation, though and we're dead at age 4.5. So I guess that in a first-world society, only the homeless are environmentally sustainable.

[Lizard_King]

Age 2.1, and the primary variable was buying a home last year. I guess I should have gotten the organic, free range condo instead.

[Talisker]

Flying is much, much worse for the environment if it's work-related? That calculator is stupid.

[Hawkeye Fierce]

Flying is much, much worse for the environment if it's work-related? That calculator is stupid. Yeah, it sucks. I had a nice little green piggie, but OH NOES I didn't live like a homeless man last year, so I die at age 9.

Apparently taking a taxi is better than public transport or biking/walking? What?

[Fugitive]

According to that calculator, paying rent and/or mortgage is dire for the environment. I was doing okay until I had to enter in how much money we spend. The majority of it is on our mortgage and bills, which for some reason the poll thinks is bad for the environment. I'm hard pressed to figure out why paying for monthly rent or a mortgage is orders of magnitude worse for the environment than the difference between walking and driving a gas guzzler, but according to that poll, it is.
My interpretation was that they were only asking about disposable income, to account for things like plastics generation, since things like power costs were already handled separately.

12.4 years here. I know I could cut down on plastic usage a bit, but beyond that I'd pretty much have to move to a mud hut in the jungle to reduce it much further...

[Kareem]

I should have died at 19.7 years, so 3 years ago almost.

Though from the results you guys got I'm less of a burden on the environment!

[Hawkeye Fierce]

My interpretation was that they were only asking about disposable income, to account for things like plastics generation, since things like power costs were already handled separately. I don't think so, because on the next screen where you apportion your spending, the category that "hurts" you specifically includes rent, food, and clothing.

[Anti-Bunny]

So the Australian Broadcasting Company wants me dead, too? Awesome!

[Robert Sharp]

Pretty silly questions in many cases, but anyway I should have died at age 9. I think Americans should get a *5 multiplier. We deserve it!

[Anti-Bunny]

Get the dirt on greenhouse without the guilt trips. No lectures. No multinational-bashing (well, maybe a little…). Just fun and games and the answers to all your enviro-dilemas.

Watch Greena, the Worrier Princess in action!

Use our greenhouse calculator to find out when you should die!
Yeah, no guilt trips or anything. Also, find out when you should die.

[John Many Jars]

I should have died around the time David Lee Roth left Van Halen. I KNEW IT!

[Skipper]

What the fuck does this mean?
"How much money did you spend all up last year?"

As in this is my spending pattern for a year total? Or, I spent this above what I normally spend per year? Or, I dunno, whatever "all up" spending must mean as a category. And put some sort of currency mark on the question. Stupid.

Whatever though, I die at age 8.6. Fat dumb and happy living off bacon as I jet around for work and use monstrous amounts of energy from all the PC's in my house. Oh, and I like to drive my Honda like it's a Ferrari.

[Bill Dungsroman]

I almost made it to 11 years, which is kinda odd since that was how old I was when my appendix ruptured and I almost died from it. Spooky!


Also this test is utter bullshit but hey! Death and environmentalism!

[Rob_Merritt]

I should of died at age 6. Which actually could of happened because of my defective heart and now because of carbon.

CHEATED DEATH AGAIN OHHHYEEAAAAHHHH! Eat that death!

[Andrew Mayer]

CHEATED DEATH AGAIN OHHHYEEAAAAHHHH! Eat that death!

Death is patient.

[Bahimiron]

I should have died at age 5.4.

Oddly enough, my parents decided to get divorced five months after my fifth birthday.

I knew it was my fault.

[Adree]

This quiz makes me want to use up more of the earth.

[Bill]

I was thinking about the spending question some more and a couple of things occurred to me (but I had already thought it was retarded so that wasn't a new thought): in my area (the industrial world) organic food costs more than non-earth friendly food so I'll be spending more and deserving to die earlier than if I ate cheaper, mass produced, hormone and pesticide laced food. And secondly, it's really skewed based on where you live; for example, one of my relatives pays $25k in property taxes for one of his homes but on another of a similar size he pays $3k. And that can really change your score on this test.

[Unicorn McGriddle]

The results are counterintuitive because people's living circumstances and consumption aren't constant over the course of their lives, and resource use is lower during childhood. They should be framing it as "x years of your current lifestyle would account for the whole of average wealth per capita per lifetime," not "your first x years of life accounted for etc."

[Tim Partlett]

According to that calculator, paying rent and/or mortgage is dire for the environment.

Yeah, it's stupid. I don't own a car. I walk everywhere and occasionally take the train. I will take the train rather than fly if I can. I rarely eat meat. I pretty much fit the bill of a low profile energy user, and try my best to be responsible for the environment, but according to that test I should die age 10 because I spend nearly 100% of my money on basics, like food, rent and not-excessive energy consumption.

It's obviously a test contrived by eco-nazis who want humanity to become extinct!

[Veefy]

The abc often gets accused of being the domain of whinging intellectual lefties so keep that in mind wihen you look at content on the site..

[Malcolm Tucker]

33.something! Hooray for being young and poor.

I don't get what this is. When I 'should' die? I get that greener people are 'supposed' to live longer, but why?

[Funkula]

I haven't even looked at this thing, and I can tell just from the commentary here that it is punishingly, unimaginably retarded.

[Fugitive]

33.something! Hooray for being young and poor.

I don't get what this is. When I 'should' die? I get that greener people are 'supposed' to live longer, but why?
It's not a life expectancy, but the age at which you'd have to kill yourself in order to avoid being an unsustainable burden on the environment. It's a rather more complex matter than that of course, and who knows how they actually came up with their numbers and methodology, though...

[VictoriaWong]

Most of my money goes to tuition. But I'm studying biology. Which has a certain amount of sustainable-energy-research/biofuel stuff. I guess I'll scale my tuition payment accordingly...

[Tankero]

The test fails at a fundamental level by not asking me if I was conceived in the back of a fuel efficient car or not.

[Mike O'Malley]

I don't think a fuel-efficient car would have a backseat big enough for that.

[RepoMan]

Death is patient.
You just HOPE death is patient. Because if it's impatient, you're screwed.

[Zuwadza]

24.5, woo! Got another year and a half ahead of me before I have to metamorphose into a pig and explode. Hooray for being young and poor indeed. And living in a province with hydro-electricity.

[Malcolm Tucker]

It's not a life expectancy, but the age at which you'd have to kill yourself in order to avoid being an unsustainable burden on the environment. It's a rather more complex matter than that of course, and who knows how they actually came up with their numbers and methodology, though...

Oh, right.

But that's stupid unless the population is micromanaged to the point of not letting anyone having a baby that replaces me for forty years after I die. Or something.

A better way to do this is telling you how many Earths we would need to live sustainably if everyone lived like you. I saw a test with that scoring system once.

[Zuwadza]

They should let *me* enter the age and then tell me how many people I would have to kill to, greenly, live to that age!