So I'm taking care of some cats

[ElGuapo]

Gather round, my brothers and sisters, and listen to this tale of woe. This is what happens when you get emotionally attached to someone . . . you take care of their pets.

My special lady friend (yes, I'm The Dude now) is going out of town for 4 days and I somehow, in a moment of weakness, volunteered to take care of her cats. The last time her cats and my dog met, it left my dog with a scratch over his eye, a bit of fur in his mouth, and two spilled wineglasses in her apartment. So that went well.

I plan on keeping them locked tight in a spare bedroom and tossing food at them occassionally. I think the dog whining and pawing at the door looking for playpals will make for a fun weekend.

What do I need to know about cats and dogs? Ideally I'd like to introduce the three of them in some nice manner, but I'm afraid the fur will just fly and everyone will be freaked out. Better to just leave them seperated? Should I make an attempt or just score brownie points for not letting them die under my care?

P.S. I hate cats. Most cats.

[fire]

You gotta keep 'em separated.

Cats like their space. In four days they'll get to know the one room you lock them in, and things will be fine.

Why not leave the cats at her house, and just come over to feed them and change the litter?

[Fugitive]

I don't think you're going to get them acclimated to each other in that short a time, so yeah, just keep them separated.

If the worst does happen, I'd also advise against using the nearby pet cemetery.

[Shadarr]

Why not leave the cats at her house, and just come over to feed them and change the litter?
Seriously.

[Lunch of Kong]

I plan on keeping them locked tight in a spare bedroom and tossing food at them occassionally.

You should leave them at her house, and go there daily to top off the feed bowl, replenish the water bowl, and filter the peeballs and catcrap out of the kitty litter containers.

If it's just for four days, you can get away with just going there on the 2nd day, and on day 4. Do not skip the kitty litter step. It's very important.

[Lunch of Kong]

How many cats is this, btw? Cuz if it's more than 2, she's the crazy cat lady and you should run away.

[Dirt]

Or he could be her last, best hope.

[Coca Cola Zero]

If the worst does happen, I'd also advise against using the nearby pet cemetery.

Sometimes... dead is bettah!

[Mark Crump]

The absoulte best option is to leave them at her house and feed and change litter. Cats are pretty independant and don't like any change. They'll be more ok with the human being gone than being locked up in your spare room.

After one of my parent's cats died they got another one. It took a month before they stopped hissing at each other. My wife and I have cats and we took my parent's dog in for a week... once. It took one of the cats until a week AFTER the dog left before we got him off the cross beam in one of our rooms.

[ElGuapo]

Can't leave them at her house, her place is being remodeled while she is gone.

Will take The Offspring advice.

[Balasarius]

Her cats will be miserable at your house. Keep them at her house.

Edit: Boo.

[Matthew Gallant]

Will take The Offspring advice.
The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?

[SpoofyChop]

Under no circumstances should you take the cats in the hot tub with you.

[Wholly Schmidt]

Under no circumstances should you take the cats in the hot tub with you.
Unless it's to post hilarious pictures.

[Tankero]

A new generation of Lolcats in the offing!

[Erik J.]

Cats and dogs will slowly get used to each other. My sister has two pekanese that come over for holidays, birthdays, etc. They've essentially learned to stay away from the cat, and the cat only sticks her face in to steal food from their bowls, then rolls out. They can tolerate being in the same room, but they are not buddy buddy.

Erik J.

[krokodile]

Sometimes... dead is bettah!


Make sure not to let them near that there roawd.

God, Herman Munster, full of one liners in that movie.

[nixon66]

Can't leave them at her house, her place is being remodeled while she is gone.

Will take The Offspring advice.

Yea, if they have to be somewhere unfamiliar, then keep them in a room for at least the first day or two, but do give a bit of attention. If your dog can keep his distance and the cats can smell him under the door for a bit they may just choose to avoid each other after the first few "encounters".

[Shadarr]

If they're only going to be at your house for less than a week, there's no point trying to introduce them to the rest of the house let alone your dog. Keep them fed, watered and give them some attention, then ship them back to their home.

[Lunch of Kong]

How many cats are we talking about here?

[Sarkus]

If they're only going to be at your house for less than a week, there's no point trying to introduce them to the rest of the house let alone your dog. Keep them fed, watered and give them some attention, then ship them back to their home.

Ditto. Lock them in the room with food, water, and their litter box and leave them be. Go in once in a while and see if they'll let you give them some attention (you haven't specified what your relationship with them is) but that's all I'd bother with.

[Raife]

How many cats are we talking about here?

300,000.

[Gourmand]

If you actually do throw them in the spare bedroom, cover the bed in plastic, and remove anything you don't want to febreeze or wash cat piss out of.

It happens.

[Brad Grenz]

Yeah. My cat pissed on my shoes the other week. I mean they were getting old and ratty, but that's still pretty rude.

[barstein]

Do not skip the kitty litter step. It's very important.Would you mind elaborating on the 'every day' part?

Also, in my cursory read of this thread I haven't managed to establish the relative age of the animals or the genders or the breeds. These are very important factors!

[RichVR]

ElGuapo. You have put yourself in a world of pain.


George: ...so mind you, at this point I'm only going out with her two or three
weeks. So she goes out of town and she asks me to feed her cat. So at this
time, there's a lot of stuff going on in my life and, uh, it slips my mind for a
few days. Maybe a week. Not a week, five, six days.

Corbin Bernsen: Yeah yeah yeah. So what happened?

George: Well, it's the damnedest thing. The cat dies. So she comes back into
town, she finds the cat lying on the carpet stiff as a board.

Corbin Bernsen: So you killed the cat.

George: That's what she says. I say, listen. It was an old cat. It died of
natural causes. So get this, now she tells me that I gotta buy her a brand new
cat. I say listen, honey. First of all, it was a pretty old cat. I'm not
gonna buy you a brand new cat to replace an old dying cat. And second of all, I
go out to the garbage, I find you a new cat in fifteen seconds. I say, you show
me an autopsy report that says this cat died of starvation, I spring for a new
cat. So she says something to me, like, uh, I dunno, get the hell out of here,
and she breaks up with me. Now don't you think that would be a great case on
L.A. Law?


Good luck.

[barstein]

Also, my (male) dog habitually air-humps my (female) cat, and only when guests are over and sitting down on my couch for the duration, and the cat is facing the other way. If she sees him she kicks his ass. If she doesn't, it's even more embarrassing. Edit: Sorry, ElG, that was probably entirely unhelpful and uninteresting.

[Euri]

Echoing what everyone else says:

Do not take the cats home, go to her place and feed them/change the litterbox. They will not be happy in your home in 4 days. It takes upwards of a month for a kitty to be comfortable in a new place.

[Raife]

He's already said that he can't because she's getting her place remodeled while she's away.

[ElGuapo]

Well, the cats are dropped off. Today they are alone locked in a room with my dog constantly sniffing under the door and making the whiny sound he makes when he sees a squirrel out the window and can't get to it. I made sure the door was shut TIGHT and firmly closed and the door latch engaged.

There are two cats, which I will call Good Cat and Bad Cat. Good cat was all happy last night, made the short trip ok, and came up to me and pushed her head against me wanting attention. Bad Cat peed her carrier on the way over and then sat in the corner of the room making strange alien noises. I was advised not to approach Bad Cat but instead let her approach me. And even then, be careful. I think I'll just feed and water them both and just pet Good Cat when I go in there.

Are cats domesticated or not? What's with the "don't approach them?" thing. Good Cat seems pretty cool, but Bad Cat kind of fits my impression of most cats.

[Major Icehole]

No jokes about ElG being the Hero of Cat Town (http://www.spatch.net/cattown/index.html)?
I'm disappointed in you people.

Do the cats have their claws still?

[Skipper]

At least spend a little time with the cats each day. They don't need much but it'll cut the stress a little for them if you are around at least enough for them to approach you if they want some attention. Feel free to play (string or laser pen) if you feel like it, they might like it.

This sounds less like cat sitting and more like "the test." Be wary sir. This lady better be special.

[grahamiam]

buy one of these -> http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=3635641 and put it in the room.

That way, the cats are stoned all week and you don't have to worry about anything.

[JMR]

Bad Cat peed her carrier on the way over and then sat in the corner of the room making strange alien noises.

And you failed to record and upload this to YouTube because . . .?

[Mark Crump]

And you failed to record and upload this to YouTube because . . .?

He's in the hot tub with the petsitter he hired to take care of the cats.

[BennyProfane]

Bad Cat peed her carrier on the way over and then sat in the corner of the room making strange alien noises.

Bad Cat is just scared--I once saw a cat back into a corner and stay there for 3 days making weird noises and drooling excessively, when a new cat was introduced to the household. Its just a defensive reaction. "Just leave her alone" is the best advice you can get. Make sure she has food and water readily available, and access to a litter box as far away from the food and water as you can put it, and she should be fine.

It wouldn't hurt to sit in the room--well away from her--and play with Good Cat too. If she and Good Cat get along, this might help to calm her some as she gets used to you. But if she is freaked by dogs, having yours right outside the door sniffing and whining is going to keep her on edge.

[jpinard]

Honestly, I think it's cruel to have them locked in a bedrooom with a dog pawing to get at them. This can mess up a cat for life as I found out with my oldest cat. Before I got married I was dating this girl who had a large dog. I let her bring the dog over in sheer stupidity, and my poor cat freaked out when it tried to go after her. Ever since, (5 years now), it takes her 4 hours to come out after the door opens/shuts (unless I'm gone and she's expecting me).

You may not like cats but your girlfriend does. Please don't mess them up.

[Skipper]

How about some Guapo'ish lolcat pics? I mean how can you have a cat story with no pics.

[Jojo]

Cats are only semi-domesticated. All relationships are on their terms not ours. Keep the cats in the one room all week, don't try to introduce them to your dog or the rest of the house. Cats are deeply paranoid, and would prefer to spend a few days getting to know their one room and understanding where the good spots are, where to hide, where to sleep, eat, poop etc. They will relax once they feel comfortable in that room. Opening up a larger space will restart the paranoia as they have to scope out the new space AND deal with your dog.

Definitely follow Benny Profane's advice and let Bad Cat approach you, he/she is in defensive mode, and may hiss/swipe if you try to approach him/her. This will set the relationship back to square one. Have fun petting Good Cat and setting an example of how nice you are for Bad Cat. Don't be offended if Bad Cat doesn't come around before the week is up.

[DoomMunky]

Ditto, but be sure to make nice with them at least once a day. I think the advice against forcing yourself on Bad Cat is less an admonition against sexual harassment and more a recommendation to let the cat approach you when it is ready to.

Also, try not to think of it as Bad Cat. It's mainly just Terrified Cat, and knows how to respond to its feelings in certain ways; peeing, stuffing self into corners, alien noises, etc.

[Mark Crump]

Honestly, I think it's cruel to have them locked in a bedrooom with a dog pawing to get at them. This can mess up a cat for life as I found out with my oldest cat. Before I got married I was dating this girl who had a large dog. I let her bring the dog over in sheer stupidity, and my poor cat freaked out when it tried to go after her. Ever since, (5 years now), it takes her 4 hours to come out after the door opens/shuts (unless I'm gone and she's expecting me).

You may not like cats but your girlfriend does. Please don't mess them up.

I'm not sure how the two stories relate. He is keeping the cats in an enclosed room where they can't see the dog nor can the dog get to them. You let the dog chase the cats around the house. They won't really know what's pawing at them once they know they are safe in the room, they'll be OK.

[secretary]

Are cats domesticated or not? What's with the "don't approach them?" thing. Good Cat seems pretty cool, but Bad Cat kind of fits my impression of most cats.

Cats are really pretty simple. My guess is that the one you call "Bad Cat" is the Alpha Cat in the household and doesn't appreciate having his position usurped by some unfriendly man and his dog. This cat is probably not going to warm to you in a few days, so "don't approach" is not a half bad option.

Dog owners get spoiled by all the unwavering affection. :) If you want to make friends with the kitties, just accept them for the temperamental little overlords that they are.

[ElGuapo]

I kind of have an Andrew Ryan approach to cats, wondering what they do for me exactly and why I would feed them. Altruism is the root of all evil.

Dogs, however, are always happy to see you and wagging their tail and affectionate and loving and would never snap at you or scratch you. Dogs that do that regularly we put down. Cats we go "awwwww, she's just scared".

Like I said, to each their own. I'll go play with the Good Cat with the laser pointer and leave Bat Cat alone in her corner to be antisocial. Whatever, as long as she's fed and hydrated.

The only laser pointer I have right now is on the end of an MP5 so I'm going to have to figure out how to detach it somehow or it's going to look a little weird.

[MikeSofaer]

The only laser pointer I have right now is on the end of an MP5 so I'm going to have to figure out how to detach it somehow or it's going to look a little weird.

This is your chance at youTube stardom. Don't blow it.

[krokodile]

No, that seems like a perfect way to keep it. Once again, a lolcat picture is just begging to be made out of that.

[Athryn]

I kind of have an Andrew Ryan approach to cats, wondering what they do for me exactly and why I would feed them. Altruism is the root of all evil.

Dogs, however, are always happy to see you and wagging their tail and affectionate and loving and would never snap at you or scratch you. Dogs that do that regularly we put down. Cats we go "awwwww, she's just scared".


Dogs are herd animals, cats are not.

[Drastic]

Before the European settlers came, majestic herds of dogs used to shake the very ground of the Great Plains.

There are, of course, herds of cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1J6zbqOLtc), but that's a more artificially-created unhealthy situation, like ponds getting choked out by runaway algae bloom.

[wisefool]

Look, cats are just tiny tigers. They were tolerated cause they ate rats, which is good. If your honey shrank you, the cat would probably recognize you and not hesitate to toy with you till you died. Human concepts such as ethics and empathy do not apply in cat civilization.

The dog would possibly recognize you, pick you up with his fangs, and carry you up and down the stairs until he pierces your vital organs and then whine pathetically as you don't move anymore.

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/8623/roflbotmpmnyj1.jpg

P.S. If you've never tried it please to be feeding cat catnip. Record results.

[mouselock]

Are cats domesticated or not? What's with the "don't approach them?" thing. Good Cat seems pretty cool, but Bad Cat kind of fits my impression of most cats.

The most important thing about dealing with cats is understanding and integrating the following:

People domesticate dogs.
Cats domesticate people.

Cats can get along with dogs. However, beware: When they do it inevitably means they've brought the dog over to their side, and they're both plotting against you.

[David Hellman]

Christopher Hitchens, in The Portable Atheist, writes:

"...owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are god."

[Talisker]

There are, of course, herds of cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1J6zbqOLtc)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8

[mouselock]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8

Also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-UZ6EETp8Y&feature=related

[quatoria]

Cats evolved into a kind of symbiotic relationship with man. I believe it's fairly unique, throughout our history. They've followed us pretty much everywhere we've gone, preyed on pests and by doing so, reduced disease, in exchange for borrowing some space in our shelters. It's kind of cool, really.

[Athryn]

And for the record, there are cats that are very doglike in their behavior. I have had 2 different cats that have been extremely affectionate, come to the door when you get home, lie on your lap kinda animals, and are very friendly to strangers. It's all about making sure they're well socialized as kittens.

[Lunch of Kong]

And for the record, there are cats that are very doglike in their behavior. I have had 2 different cats that have been extremely affectionate, come to the door when you get home, lie on your lap kinda animals, and are very friendly to strangers. It's all about making sure they're well socialized as kittens.

Athryn speaks troothiness. The cat I lost would:
a) run up to my car to greet me each day when I came home from work. He'd recognize my engine sound and come pouncing out from the porch.
b) crawl on my chest as I lay on the floor, softly kneeding at me with his paws until he would fall asleep
c) never hiss or claw or scratch at anyone, even when little kids would get rough with him

Someone stole him.

The cat my gf has now was raised wild for about 2 weeks by its mother before our neighbor found him as a kitten in a trap he had set for an opposum. He will ambush your ankles when you walk to the bathroom. He will ambush your feet if you leave them sticking out of the bed covers. A laser pointer dot is like crack cocaine to him. He will not stay on your lap for more than a minute. You cannot hold him in your arms for more than 10 seconds. If you put him in the car and turn the engine on, he will freak out and dive into the triangle of space formed between your body and the driver's seat/back.

Crazy cat.

[DoomMunky]

And for the record, there are cats that are very doglike in their behavior. I have had 2 different cats that have been extremely affectionate, come to the door when you get home, lie on your lap kinda animals, and are very friendly to strangers. It's all about making sure they're well socialized as kittens. Yup yup! A 'nice' cat is just about as friendly as a pup. My only regret is that you can't wrestle with a cat like you can with a good medium-sized dog.

Maybe there need to be bigger cats.

If you put him in the car and turn the engine on, he will freak out and dive into the triangle of space formed between your body and the driver's seat/back. My mom and I transported a kitten from my house down to my mom's house, and once he'd explored the car, the only place he really wanted to be was on her lap as she drove. He was very content, if a little in the way.

[Ryan A]

I can't believe an ElGuapo post about cats has reached paged two without anybody clarifying whether or not he's talking about felines.

[Athryn]

The cat my gf has now was raised wild for about 2 weeks by its mother before our neighbor found him as a kitten in a trap he had set for an opposum. He will ambush your ankles when you walk to the bathroom. He will ambush your feet if you leave them sticking out of the bed covers. A laser pointer dot is like crack cocaine to him. He will not stay on your lap for more than a minute. You cannot hold him in your arms for more than 10 seconds. If you put him in the car and turn the engine on, he will freak out and dive into the triangle of space formed between your body and the driver's seat/back.

Crazy cat.

It's funny though, when I had to transport my cats across country with me last year, the friendlier cat had to be sedated, and the feral rescue cats was just fine in the cage the whole way. Not something I'd like to do again if I can help it.

[krokodile]

Man... a dog sized cat?

That could only end well.

Tigers.

[jpinard]

I'm not sure how the two stories relate. He is keeping the cats in an enclosed room where they can't see the dog nor can the dog get to them. You let the dog chase the cats around the house. They won't really know what's pawing at them once they know they are safe in the room, they'll be OK.

I cut the story short. Dog was in the kitchen on a leash and went apeshit bonkers when Hannah came up the stairs. He never got close, but for the weeknd she stayed here I couldn't get her to put the big ugly dog outside so Hannah locked herself in a bedroom. Lot more to the story, but I imagine the dog being right at the dooir constantly can't make a cat feel good or safe.

[Elton]

And for the record, there are cats that are very doglike in their behavior.


Out cat, who is the bestest cat ever, likes to play catch in the living room with balled-up paper. I can throw it into the kitchen and she'll go skittering after it, usually overshoot on the kitchen floor, bat it around a bit, and then pick it up with her mouth and bring it back to me. She's also very unlike the other cats I've known in her willingness to cuddle and be affectionate with strangers.

Here is a video of her playing pool.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UVzlE4izms)

[Athryn]

Yeah, one of mine plays fetch as well. I chock up the bad rep cats get to the dog propaganda machine.

[jpinard]

Out cat, who is the bestest cat ever, likes to play catch in the living room with balled-up paper. I can throw it into the kitchen and she'll go skittering after it, usually overshoot on the kitchen floor, bat it around a bit, and then pick it up with her mouth and bring it back to me. She's also very unlike the other cats I've known in her willingness to cuddle and be affectionate with strangers.

Here is a video of her playing pool.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UVzlE4izms)

I gave you a 5, that is priceless! Where can I get one of those? Is it one of those plastic toy ones, or is it wood? My cats would LOVE it.

[Elton]

Heh, thanks. It's just a plastic toy table; not sure where you can get it since we just got it from a friend when they moved away. The box says something like "Executive" Mini Pool Table.

It was great fun watching her play with it. The only problem is that when she knocks a ball off the table, she bats it around on the floor until it gets somewhere that neither she nor I can reach, like under the stove.

[secretary]

contrarybear, that is too cute for words. What a perfect cat toy!

[Mark Crump]

I cut the story short. Dog was in the kitchen on a leash and went apeshit bonkers when Hannah came up the stairs. He never got close, but for the weeknd she stayed here I couldn't get her to put the big ugly dog outside so Hannah locked herself in a bedroom. Lot more to the story, but I imagine the dog being right at the dooir constantly can't make a cat feel good or safe.

yes, but you haven't made it any clearer.

ElGuapo brings the cats in their carriers to their own room. The cats my see the dog, but they're in the carrier -- a safe place.

Your friend brought her dog into your cats' safe place. The only commonality between the two is they involved strange dogs and cats, but the roles and places are almost reversed.

[ElGuapo]

Stupid cats. You roll up a ball of paper and they bat it around and play and look all cute and then charge into you butting their heads against you purring and make you like cats somewhat.

Dogs4Life!

[bloo]

Wheee, an excuse to post pics of my brand new kitties:
http://picasaweb.google.com/bloobastard/Kitties

I haven't been able to get a good pic of it yet, but the grey one has a pattern on his right said that almost spells "LOL".

[ElGuapo]

This just in:

Kitties like the LAZE-ER.

The safety is on. :)

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

[mouselock]

I gave you a 5, that is priceless! Where can I get one of those? Is it one of those plastic toy ones, or is it wood? My cats would LOVE it.

The best bit, by far, is when the cat is eyeing down the pocket and you can seer her paw trying to get the ball out from underneath the table because she can just see that this is where the ball should be.

[secretary]

Wheee, an excuse to post pics of my brand new kitties:
http://picasaweb.google.com/bloobastard/Kitties


AWWWWWWW. Gratz on the new pets, bloo. SO cute.

[DoomMunky]

Dash is one of the better cat names ever.

[RichVR]

Dogs are herd animals, cats are not.

While I might use the word, pack, instead of herd. I agree. Felines are solitary killers while canines are pack killers.

Case in point:

Many (many) years ago, when I was a young (er) reprobate, I had the idea of going to Coney Island and spending the night on the boardwalk. I decided to call my friend Murray, who had some fine hash oil at the time, and we'd just go out and smoke the night away.

We prepared for the evening by rolling joints of decent weed with stripes of hash oil on the paper. Nice stuff.

But I digress.

I'll not bore you with our hiding from the police, or the fact that we forgot to bring enough food.

Just about dawn, we decided to walk out to the rocks that are on the water, climb on the rocks and smoke our last joint. Then find a deli or something, anything actually.

As we sauntered to the water's edge, we noticed motion on the sand to our left. Something was appearing from under the pier that was the boundary of Bay 1. We were somewhere around the end of Bay 2. At first we thought it was just our stoned imagination. But as we watched we saw what was a pack of feral dogs running along the beach towards us.

Now understand, we were really stoned. And the FEAR hit. Murray and I turned around and ran for the boardwalk stairs like the Satan's own hellhounds were after us.

Once we hit the stairs and got some height, we turned to see one of the most fascinating things that I think I'll ever see.

A large pack of various types of dogs were running the length of the beach. I most likely do not remember the moment with total clarity, but there were all sizes of dogs, from doberman sized to dustmop sized. The little ones were bringing up the rear. It took a minute or two for the pack to pass by. But Murray and I were blown away.

No it wasn't a shared illusion, it really happened. And I haven't ever seen anyone mention it anywhere, since then.

But damn, they looked like they were having fun. And they probably wouldn't have surrounded us and taken us down.

I wasn't worried anyway.

I can run faster than Murray.

And I had the last joint.

[Athryn]

While I might use the word, pack, instead of herd. I agree. Felines are solitary killers while canines are pack killers.




You're absolutely correct. I think in my head I was thinking herding animals, or something, but yes pack animals was what I meant. ><

[Alistair]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

Back away from the vent, sir.

[mouselock]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

Back away from the vent, sir.

Sir, I'm going to need you to turn and place your paws on the wall. Good, now...

Alternatively:

I made you a cookie but I eat..oh fuck, I'm sorry, okay, man? I'm sorry!

[MikeSofaer]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg
Please just ... tell my wife I loved her.

[Zep--]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

Whitey Always Tryin' To Keep The Black Cats Down!

Zep--

[snowcrash22]

ElGuapo, quit camping the fucking corner spawn behind the chair

[krokodile]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

It was only a little catnip, I swear!

[Alistair]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

Man, there ain't no portal. You're as cheap as she said you was.

[RichVR]

http://i17.tinypic.com/6l8j0ae.jpg

Extreme Ear Tagging.