Craigslist post of the month (possibly year)

[Gary Whitta]

NSFW

http://houston.craigslist.org/cas/457918279.html

[Lunch of Kong]

What's a jo?

[Leah C]

jack off.

[Lazy Shiftless Bastard]

Pure gold.

[Brendan]

If there is a Darwin, may that sod get sucked into the vortex and never be seen again.

I wish it was possible to find out whether some of the odder folks on these sites get what they want or not.

[malphigian]

Flagged, Best of craigslist!

Glad to see whitta back in link posting form.

[Raife]

But "no gay stuff".

[barstein]

I wish it was possible to find out whether some of the odder folks on these sites get what they want or not.Surely you know there is at least one way to do so?

[Lunch of Kong]

As twisted as this is, I bet he gets a reply from someone willing to give it a whirl.

[Rimbo]

Is that... a photo of a guy with only one leg and no arms?

[Enduro_Man]

Is that... a photo of a guy with only one leg and no arms?
SCORE!!!

[Bill Dungsroman]

jack off.
It's so awesome you knew that, sara.

[Rimbo]

So... a guy... with only one functional appendage... wants another hairy-bellied (but shaved crotch) guy to jack him off while tied to a post in the middle of a tornado... straight only, no queers. And face AND dick photos only need apply.

Whittalink FTW.

[Andrew Mayer]

Why is it the Brits who always find this stuff?

[Lunch of Kong]

Why is it the Brits who always find this stuff?

They've been around longer than we have.

[tromik]

So... a guy... with only one functional appendage... wants another hairy-bellied (but shaved crotch) guy to jack him off while tied to a post in the middle of a tornado... straight only, no queers. And face AND dick photos only need apply.
Possible handjob exchange. Possible.

[Leah C]

Why is it the Brits who always find this stuff?

It's my fault, I showed him.

[Rimbo]

And you found this how?

[Chowhound]

Houston+amputee+possible+jackoff+tornado vortex

Pretty common search string.

[Leah C]

hairy+dick pics+helen hunt+not gay

C'mon, Rimbo. Is there a better way to spend a Monday night? Heroes is slipping, so that's out.

[fire]

Is it bad that I want to reply? With dick and face pics, of course.

[Euri]

That is awesome.

[David Hellman]

That's great, I think I know someone who might be into this, should cheer him up. Thanks.

[Raife]

I don't even want to know whether or not you are joking.

[jpinard]

ewwwwww

[SergioBAM]

If there is a Darwin, may that sod get sucked into the vortex and never be seen again...

Good god man, you would be singing a different tune if that vortex throw him AND his non gay, naked male partner a few hundred kilometres into your front yard. How would you explain it to your neighbours?

[Enduro_Man]

I don't even want to know whether or not you are joking.
He's not joking. He's THE j.o. king!

[FIDGAF]

Has anyone considered just how Gary found that link???

[Raife]

Has anyone considered just how Gary found that link???

Have you considered reading the thread?

[nutsak]

Good god man, you would be singing a different tune if that vortex throw him AND his non gay, naked male partner a few hundred kilometres into your front yard. How would you explain it to your neighbours?

"Looks like global warming is causing tornadoes in San Francisco now..."

[FIDGAF]

Have you considered reading the thread?

I did and I didn't see any possible NORMAL way he could have found that.

[Anders Hallin]

Houston+amputee+possible+jackoff+tornado vortex

Pretty common search string.
Why was I drinking water while reading this thread :(

[Raife]

I did and I didn't see any possible NORMAL way he could have found that.

Here's a hint, El Cerebro Capitan: Gary didn't find it.

[Slothrop]

I don't think he's missing a leg, I think he's showing us his SEXAY pose.

[Mark Asher]

I guess I'm an innocent, but do straight men have "JO buds"? Is this one of those "I'm not really gay but it's easier to find a man to jack me off than it is to convince a woman to do it" things?

As I understand it, a lot of men who like to go on the down low don't consider themselves to be gay or bisexual.

[shang]

I guess I'm an innocent, but do straight men have "JO buds"? Is this one of those "I'm not really gay but it's easier to find a man to jack me off than it is to convince a woman to do it" things?

As I understand it, a lot of men who like to go on the down low don't consider themselves to be gay or bisexual.

Beats me. (*bada-bum*)

[Nick Walter]

I guess I'm an innocent, but do straight men have "JO buds"? Is this one of those "I'm not really gay but it's easier to find a man to jack me off than it is to convince a woman to do it" things?

As I understand it, a lot of men who like to go on the down low don't consider themselves to be gay or bisexual.

In my expereience the rule for reading bizarro stuff from the Internet is not to confuse the oddball practices of a small niche group for anything resembling normal behavior outside of their niche. It might be perfectly normal to this guy and maybe a few others but it leaves me scratching my head too.

[BlueJackalope]

In my expereience the rule for reading bizarro stuff from the Internet is not to confuse the oddball practices of a small niche group for anything resembling normal behavior outside of their niche. It might be perfectly normal to this guy and maybe a few others but it leaves me scratching my head too.

I can't "beat" (gitit? beat? ahhhhhahaha!) this CL post, but I remember a post a few years back in the Stranger (Seattle's Alt-Weekly) where a guy was looking for "A trash talking black guy to take dump on his chest".

I wonder about how a person gets to that place and then I try to see if I can slide a qtip into that part of my brain.

[stusser]

Craigslist casual encounters used to be great fun to browse. Unfortunately the new york board is all asian hookers these days so it's hard to get to the funny.

[Aleck]

You know, I'm tempted to respond to this post. I found a flash card over the weekend that includes the necessary pics of some random guy (presumably the owner of the flash card).

However, I have a feeling that ol' Hairy One-Arm might not be the type who likes being messed with...

[DoomMunky]

Possible handjob exchange. Possible. He doesn't want to get the hopes up of the hordes who are going to respond to this.

Let's just take it slow, see what happens, with the eventual goal of going into the twister naked, tied together.

[Rimbo]

Craigslist casual encounters used to be great fun to browse. Unfortunately the new york board is all asian hookers these days so it's hard to get to the funny.

But if you have Asian hookers, really, what more do you need?

[Charles]

Someone post the text without the pics.

[DoomMunky]

Someone post the text without the pics. Somebody's scared of the nekkid man!

[Mark Asher]

Here is the text, Charles.

"59 yo retired male looking for a discreet bud to meet regularly for JO only. straight guys only no gay stuff. hairy a plus on stomach and chest but please be clean shaven down there. The twist is that I want a bud who can come live with me during storm season so we can go outside and JO during a tornado. My ultimate fantasy is to have us tied with leather belts to pipes like Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton at the end of the movie Twister and have our feet being sucked up into the vortex and while we are doing that we can JO (poss. handjob exchange) to climax into the vortex. Obviously this is impossible and dangerous to attempt so I would be Ok with just JO looking at a tornado. Lets meet up and find out if you are the regular JO bud I need for the job."

[barstein]

Plus "no reply without face + dick pics. are you man enough".

[Charles]

Somebody's scared of the nekkid man!

Or, alternately, at work.

[fire]

They're not mutually exclusive.

[BlueJackalope]

They're not mutually exclusive.

True dat.

[Bill Dungsroman]

So he’s clearly jacked off to tornados before. I mean, he’s had to have by now. He rented Twister and came all over himself before he even knew what was happening. A whole new world opened up for him. Tornado porn. Erwin Allen meets Linda Lovelace. I wonder if dust devils make his nads wiggle, a quick cheap thrill. But hey…I get it.

He wants a blow job from Mother Nature. Hey man, sometimes I feel like that bitch owes us all a good long one. Too bad he’s so dumb he doesn’t realize what he’s really in for, unless part of his awesome fantasy involves being drenched in torrential downfall and getting hit in the face with more than just his totally-straight-no-really “bud’s” shorn ballsack.

I just hate the fact that him wanting to beat off into a tornado is not even remotely the most confounding part of his fantasy. I mean, dude, move to the Midwest, buy a weather radar, a lawnchair cemented to a patio and an economy size jug of lube, and go to town. Fine, sure, buy why do you have to share this with a straight guy who is into mutual masturbation? Who has a hairy chest but squeaky clean genitals? I mean, let’s put aside the sexy natural disasters for a second.

I’m guessing he’s just gay, is intimidated by guys who have accepted and embraced their gayness because they are no doubt far more experienced in homosexuality than he is, and figures the best place to make his move is…well, against anyone so confused about what they want out of life they’d read an ad like his and go “Well, hey, ok!” Because, I guess, if I was of an inclination to shave my dick and bare my hairy chest and maybe beat off some middle-aged fruitbag while leatherbound to a post during Hurricane Gaylord, broaching that great and mystical threshold to full-on queeritude is like not even a half-step away.

Also, the more I think about it, I think the tornados are a red herring. He was all about the Bill Paxton Axtion, if you catch my drift. I guess it could have been worse, he might have watched the first ten minutes of Terminator and then taken out an ad asking for a giant musclebound goon to talk robotically and um…stick his fist in him. Wait, that’s somehow less retarded, never mind.

[fuzzyslug]

And somehow, it all ends up sounding like this (http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=406853).

[fire]

And somehow, it all ends up sounding like this (http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=406853).
Bill Dungsroman? Is that you??

[HUMBY50]

I'm as prone to self abuse as the next man, but i can't ever imagine getting so jaded with the relationship between me and my palm that i'd think about bringing in another person to spice it back up.

[Lum]

I guess I'm an innocent, but do straight men have "JO buds"? Is this one of those "I'm not really gay but it's easier to find a man to jack me off than it is to convince a woman to do it" things?

As I understand it, a lot of men who like to go on the down low don't consider themselves to be gay or bisexual.

If you're having other men handle your genitalia for the purposes of sexual gratification, you aren't allowed to describe yourself as "straight" any more. Sorry.

[Nengjanggo]

I totally understand the "no gay" thing. I mean, sometimes you just want to masturbate in front of another guy without getting distracted by all the damn talk about Judy Garland.

[theKevin]

Stay classy, Houston.

[Jamie Madigan]

The worst part is that some irrational part of my brain keeps thinking that little triple amputee tornado babies would be the inevitable outcome of this guy's fantasy.

[Machfive]

And somehow, it all ends up sounding like this (http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=406853).

The look on that guy's face was worth the price of admission.

I totally understand the "no gay" thing. I mean, sometimes you just want to masturbate in front of another guy without getting distracted by all the damn talk about Judy Garland.

Welcome to the forums. That was fucking hysterical.

[Harkonis]

I always find it amusing when someone asks for someone of the same sex to do something sexual with/to them and insists 'nothing gay!'. LMAO

[barstein]

Did anyone archive this post? I was just going to share the link with someone when I found it was removed.

Edit: Never mind, I located a PDF (http://www.madeofglass.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/im-looking-for-a-jo-bud-with-a-twist-m4m.pdf) on this page (http://www.madeofglass.com/tripp/2007/11/17/jo-into-a-tornado/).

[Raife]

Did anyone archive this post? I was just going to share the link with someone when I found it was removed.

Like I'd want those images anywhere near my computer.

[DavidKaye]

It has been flagged for removal by the Craigslist community. Anyone keep it for posterity?

[barstein]

It has been flagged for removal by the Craigslist community. Anyone keep it for posterity?Yes, I posted this on page 2: PDF (http://www.madeofglass.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/im-looking-for-a-jo-bud-with-a-twist-m4m.pdf) on this page (http://www.madeofglass.com/tripp/2007/11/17/jo-into-a-tornado/)