So explain the Conservative Christian mindset to me please

[wildpokerman]

Here's another conservative sex scandal:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

Now personally I don't care what you do in your own home and if putting sex toys in your ass while you choke yourself all while you're wearing some crazy getup turns you on I think you should do it.

But please explain why all the people who keep getting caught doing this are the ones who speak out so loudly against stuff like this and call it perverse.

There are a couple theories but there are some holes in each one:

1. They love power. They say hey it's normal to want to seek pleasure but there are a subset of people who think it's not so I'll lie to them and get money and political power. This is the conservatives are total hypocrites theory.

2. They loathe themselves. They have a preference for sex acts out of the normal but due to an extreme sense of shame about them they publicly decry these acts. This is the repressed pervert theory.

3. People are dieing from autoerotic activities every day but it just makes the news when it's a Conservative or Christian getting busted. This is the everybody's doing it and they just can't live up to their own ideals theory.

What's the real deal here? I normally consider myself pretty good at understanding human motivations but I can't seem to grasp why so many people are living lifestyles that they publicly condemn.

[wildpokerman]

Oh yeah and throw "Klutzo" into the mix as well.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1010071clown1.html

[AaronSofaer]

My vote goes for #2.

[Aeon221]

Here's my theory:

All the people getting caught are conservatives because the liberals who do it are already in the open about it?

[Peter Frazier]

Uh, which liberal is open about dressing up in latex with a dildo in his arse?

[Soapyfrog]

How the deuce do you hogtie yourself?

[Squirrel Killer]

3. People are dieing from autoerotic activities every day but it just makes the news when it's a Conservative or Christian getting busted. This is the everybody's doing it and they just can't live up to their own ideals theory.
Supposedly, a couple of sources (Rosenblum S, Faber MM. The adolescent sexual asphyxia syndrome. J Am Acad of Child Psychiatry. 1979;18:546-558 and Hazelwood RR, Dietz PE, et al. Autoerotic Fatalities. Lexington, MA: DC Health Lexington Books, 1983) estimate there are 250-1,000 fatal auto-erotic cases per year. The sources are pretty old, but I'd suspect the number has probably increased since then rather than decreased.

What's the real deal here? I normally consider myself pretty good at understanding human motivations but I can't seem to grasp why so many people are living lifestyles that they publicly condemn.
Are we sure Rev. Aldridge condemned rubber play? Are we sure he condemned masturbation? Are we sure he condemned sex for fun? As for the dildo, while he was a Baptist minister so it's a relatively safe bet he condemned homosexuality, I'm not sure a dildo in the ass makes you gay. I wonder what King Missle (http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=147154) would say...

Conversely, if a woman straps on a dildo, and you're dressed like a woman, and you're sucking her cock, and she's saying, "You like it, don't you? You like sucking my dick you little fucking faggot," and then she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says "You love it you little pussy boy! You love getting fucked in the ass. I'll bet you wish I was a man! I'll bet you wish this was a real cock, you fucking faggot!" and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before, that's still straight.
I guess not.

[Sidd_Budd]

Uh, which liberal is open about dressing up in latex with a dildo in his arse?
Most US Congressional Democrats publically complain about feeling stifled and constrained in the current climate. Privately, I'm sure they complain about ongoing experiences with a major pain in the ass.

I'm here all week; remember to tip the waitstaff!

[secretary]

Probably option #2 has something to do with it. The media loves a good contrast, don't they? Old people skydiving, vitamins that can kill you, conservative christians getting their kink on...

But IMHO, the rest of it just basic human nature. The hottest sex is the sex you're not supposed to be having. When everything is forbidden, everything looks all the more tantalizing.

[bdfinally]

How the deuce do you hogtie yourself?

you can't..check the travel itinerary of the Pope that day.

[Schazzwozzer]

I'm convinced the "repressed pervert" theory is a central part of why it seems all the hypocritical deviants are conservatives. This article by Christopher Hitchens (http://www.slate.com/id/2173112/), while being specifically about Larry Craig and the long history of anonymous, gay bathroom sex, cited an interesting study from 1970. Here's a clip from the author's wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laud_Humphreys).

Because Humphreys was able to confirm that over 50% of his subjects were outwardly heterosexual men with unsuspecting wives at home, a primary thesis of Tearoom Trade is the incongruence between the private self and the social self for many of the men engaging in this form of homosexual activity. Specifically, they put on a "breastplate of righteousness" (social and political conservatism) in an effort to conceal their deviant behavior and prevent being exposed as deviant. Humphreys tapped into a theme of incongruence between one's words and deeds that has become a primary methodological and theoretical concern in sociology throughout the 20th and 21st centuries (Deutscher, 1966).

I'm inclined to think that #3 is also at work though, because a story is admittedly much sweeter when we can point at someone and shout "hypocrite", but at this point, it's difficult not to see a strong relationship between self-hating deviants and social conservatism.

[BlueJackalope]

You guys are missing the point. These guys hate the preeverts and the hamasexuals and all their assplaying shenanigans. They hate em so much, they go out and engage in those activities. To prove to themselves that they really really hate being bent over a toilet seat in a bus station while wearing rubber assless chaps.

Man, they sure do hate preeverted sex. They prove that hate over and over and over again.

[Midnight Son]

The conservative Christian mindset? Bunch of hypocrites, all of them.