Pantyhose: Not As Easy As You Might Think

[Bullhajj]

I tried on a pair of hose last night and was astonished at how difficult it was. You have to sit down and really work one leg into them at a time. I suppose it doesn't help that I am over two-hundred pounds.

Also, it's not obvious how one is supposed to get the crotch of the hose to meet the crotch of the wearer. I found deep knee bends and karate kicks to be the most effective strategies. Meanwhile, tugging the waist band and lifting the crotch are futile endeavors.

Wearing hose makes you feel warm. It's either that or it's the level of exertion required to get the hose on that heats you up.

The hose I am wearing are borrowed, which also makes me feel uncomfortable. Here I am describing a feeling that goes beyond a saggy crotch and warm legs. I feel as if I am borrowing skivvies or using an old toothbrush. Should I spray these hose with some sort of antibacterial before I put them on?

[secretary]

Try thigh-highs. More freedom in the crotch area.

[Jason McCullough]

Is this related to the acting career?

[Kunikos]

I know it's a shocking concept but they're not made for male body shape, and you're supposed to wear underwear underneath them.

[Bullhajj]

Is this related to the acting career?

I'm trying to be like Joe Nameth, but it's hard to find beautiful reporters to interview me while I'm drinking.

[Bullhajj]

Try thigh-highs. More freedom in the crotch area.

Very good point.

[CastOutDevil]

Freshly shaved legs may help them slide on easier.

[Bullhajj]

you're supposed to wear underwear underneath them.

My wife pointed this out to me as the costume woman begged me to pity the poor costume people. Why do women (my wife excluded) assume guys are going to know this sort of thing?

[Bullhajj]

Freshly shaved legs may help them slide on easier.

I could probably also try using a little Vasaline, but somehow think this is giong too far.

[Rimbo]

I'm trying to be like Joe Nameth, but it's hard to find beautiful reporters to interview me while I'm drinking.

Hahahahahaha!

[Rimbo]

My wife pointed this out to me as the costume woman begged me to pity the poor costume people. Why do women (my wife excluded) assume guys are going to know this sort of thing?

The assumption is that once you are above a certain age you have seen a girl who was wearing them remove her clothes so that you could witness this.

Although with some girls, there might still be some doubt.

[JoshV]

The assumption is that once you are above a certain age you have seen a girl who was wearing them remove her clothes so that you could witness this.

Although with some girls, there might still be some doubt.

Odd, i can't remember the last time a girl i dated wore panty hose.

[Bullhajj]

Odd, i can't remember the last time a girl i dated wore panty hose.

Dig it. I only see pantyhose in porn.

[Leah C]

Dude. Just get your own. A size or two bigger than the size chart indicates, and wash and dry them once. That'll break down some of the elasticity and you won't feel like you're stuffing yourself into sausage casing. And wear underwear with them.

[Nick Walter]

Pantyhose are for matronly women these days, not young sexy girls who don't need to hide their legs. I never saw my my wife in them until after the wedding, and that was only because formal business wear for females seems to require them.

[Leah C]

Or for cold weather. It's always pantyhose season in San Francisco, unfortunately.

[Kalle]

I am sorely disappointed by the lack of penises in the pantyhose thread.

[Lunch of Kong]

I am sorely disappointed by the lack of penises in the pantyhose thread.

Congratulations on being the first. :-)

[Kalle]

If I can't be a dick in a Bullhajj thread, where can I be a dick?

[SlyFrog]

Pantyhose are for matronly women these days, not young sexy girls who don't need to hide their legs. I never saw my my wife in them until after the wedding, and that was only because formal business wear for females seems to require them.

Aren't they actually supposed to be for young sexy women, because they make the leg look even more shapely and smooth?

It's not like matronly women are cruising for action and need to enhance their sex appeal (as much as the overuse of "cougars" in society today would have you believe). I suppose there is the varicose vein prevention thing though.

[SpoofyChop]

Pantyhose are disgusting and should only be used to rob banks.

[Mark Asher]

Pantyhose are for matronly women these days, not young sexy girls who don't need to hide their legs. I never saw my my wife in them until after the wedding, and that was only because formal business wear for females seems to require them.

Yes, I think anything formal usually requires hose.

What gets me is how fast they run. Just another way to get women to spend more money on clothes.

In WW2 when they were hard to come by, women used to fake them by drawing a seam on their bare legs.

[Leah C]

They only get runs quickly if you buy cheap ones.

[secretary]

Aren't they actually supposed to be for young sexy women, because they make the leg look even more shapely and smooth?


Allowing an exception for colder climates, I see very few young (Under thirty) women wearing panty hose, unless it's with a business suit and heels. One of the few fashion trends that I'm positively giddy to welcome, because as the OP so kindly put it: Panty Hose are crotch-chaffing, nylon prisons that run if you even look at them funny.

But if you need a sturdy pair I absolutely recommend Wal-Mart. I've had the same pair since 2001 (which I wear about three times a year) and you can't bust 'em.

[fire]

I wear tights all the time in the winter. They're like hose except thick and usually some color. Like purple, or maroon, or gold, or bright orange. I wear those with a short skirt and boots and am never cold.

I do wear hose when going out somewhere fancy if I'm wearing closed-toed shoes.

Footless tights / capri tights are awesome. All the coverage and color of tights, yet you can still wear open-toed shoes or flats. Mmmm!

[Bill Dungsroman]

Oh God. Now I get it. This is some pervo fetish thread Bullhajj started, knowing the female qt3 posters would reply so he could get his sick jollies. JESUS MAN HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECENCY?

[Bullhajj]

Pantyhose are disgusting and should only be used to rob banks.

I'm no bank robber, but hopefully you're using knee-highs for this.

If you were to use a full-on pair of pantyhose, you would look kind of silly with the other leg dangling down over your shoulder.

[Bullhajj]

Oh God. Now I get it. This is some pervo fetish thread Bullhajj started, knowing the female qt3 posters would reply so he could get his sick jollies. JESUS MAN HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECENCY?

Sallying forth with sick jollies, aye!

[Ed Solomon]

I'm no bank robber, but hopefully you're using knee-highs for this.

If you were to use a full-on pair of pantyhose, you would look kind of silly with the other leg dangling down over your shoulder.
Son, you got a panty on your head.

[Bullhajj]

Son, you got a panty on your head.

It's even better if you imagine Foghorn Leghorn saying it.

"I say a panty on yer head, son! A panty!"

[bloo]

Pantyhose are disgusting and should only be used to rob banks.

Agreed. But for me, it's something about the texture that gives me that jangled nerve feeling that some people get from fingernails on the chalkboard (which doesn't actually bother me), but it is more of a battery-on-tongue + aluminum-on-metal-tooth-filling sensation. So...<smooth lizard mode> my ladies wear silk stockings or none at all.</smooth lizard mode>.

[Bill Dungsroman]

http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/4789/gaycomics28ss6.jpg

[SpoofyChop]

If you were to use a full-on pair of pantyhose, you would look kind of silly with the other leg dangling down over your shoulder.

You need to trim them down obviously.

[Aeon221]

You need to trim them down obviously.

But then what will you wear to the after robbery party?

[SpoofyChop]

But then what will you wear to the after robbery party?

A dress made from $100 bills.

[Bullhajj]

A dress made from $100 bills.

You're better off with small denominations that are harder to trace.